I need serious advice... | ADHD Information

Lostship, you are right, teachers cannot metnion meds, or ADHD. Violates federal law.

LonerGirl--

O.K. I am going to belabor this IEP point and I am going to be blunt.

TOMORROW (if you do nothing else), do 2 things:

Schedule an independent comprehensive neuropsych exam (see below); AND

Write the letter to the student services requesting an IEP evaluation and meeting (ask that they send you all necessary paperwork ASAP. And send it certified mail. (You will probably be scheduled for November).

DO NOT DISCUSS THIS WITH YOUR SON'S TEACHER. She will do whatever she can to discourage you from proceeding.

Get your son tested by and INDEPENDENT CHILD NEUROPSYCHOLOGIST. The waiting list will be 3- 6 mos. for a good one. Try to find one who will write up a proposed accomodations list and accompany you to the IEP meeting (it will cost extra, but well worth it). Once you schedule an appointment, call every week--any cancellations? Most HMO's will cover a yearly "comprehensive neuropsych exam".

Do not spend too much time on this--schedule multiple appointments with different doc's and then cancel. You have no time to lose.

The school's own testing people err on the side of "nothing is wrong". They do not want to spend the money or be the responsible instigator for the spending of the money. There is a chance that your son has "grapho motor" issues which are interfering with his handwriting. A comprehensive neuropsych will pick this up. He will then be eligible for accomodations for this issue. (keyboard, dragon system--fancy word for computer dictation).

Most leading specialists will tell you that the medication alone will not suffice. It needs to be in conjunction with a good educational plan. If your "poor city school" does not have the staffing or ability to accomodate him, then you can propose that he is sent "out-of-district" to a school that can accomodate him (on their nickel, of course.

Just curious--who diagnosed your son?

PLEASE--for your son's sake, do not wait! I wish you the best of luck.

Please let me know how it goes.

One more thing--Now I am getting heated-up over this.

I do not think a teacher can legally "advocate" for meds. It is kind of like practicing medicine/psychology without a license. Many schools have very strict guidelines for teachers on remaining silent on the med issue. Kind of opens the door to a law suit--especially if it has delayed the process in getting other necessary therapies in place (which are CRITICAL in the younger years).

I am not proposing that you sue--I merely want you to stop being so nice. Just exercise your and your son's rights. Get that IEP--in place. One cannot be deprived of education due to a disbility under FEDERAL law.

Use this forum to seek guidance and advice--many of us have gone through the process.

Interesting that the teacher has been vocal about the meds, but never suggested an IEP? Mmmmmm???!

you dont have to "storm the school". I would go with him and go straight to the office. Say you need to speak to the principal or assistant principal or guidance counselor before the day starts and your son goes to class. I've been in this boat (for different issues) and usually if I get the weekend to cool down, my dealings with school end up better. His anxiety is probably part of what's keeping him from going to the bathroom, so I also agree with everyone about a med change or adding an anxiety med. Either way, the school should be informed and in person. Just stay calm and to the point, there's no way they can not listen to you, it's terrible that a 7 year old should spend even one day in soiled clothes, never mind three. Offer to send in a change of clothes in his bookbag so if he does have an "accident" he can be allowed to change while you work through this and theaobve suggestions for bathroom priveleges until this gets smoothed out.Stimulants can increase anxiety, and it sounds like this is what's happening for your son. It sounds time to try a different ADHD medicine, and hopefully another one won't increase the anxiety.

[QUOTE=babygonz]My ds just turned 7 and has ADHD with anxiety. Guess what - the anxiety
focuses on bugs! When spring hit last school year, he was freaked about
flies, wasps and bees. He hated to be outside and would freak out if he saw
a flying insect. We tried therapy to desensitize him (and every other method
we could think of). Didn't do much help. What did finally help is putting
him on 25 mg. of Zoloft. It really helps ALOT. He has very few instances of
bug anxiety these days. It lessened so much. No potty problems here, just
anxiety. You might want to either switch meds or add something for the
anxiety. I would definitely speak to his teacher about this. There is no
reason that your son should not be allowed to use the bathroom. Can you
email her or call her at home?[/QUOTE]

My child also isn't having success in therapy to help his anxiety, and the therapist feels he needs anxiety meds. I'm afraid to add another med. and totally mess up the ADHD meds. Did you have to tinker with the ADHD meds once you added the Zoloft?

LonerGirl--

I assume that your son has an IEP in place, but maybe not. Either way, I would send a notice to the student services head (whatever the title is in your district) that you need a team meeting, initial meeting asap because your son is being deprived of his education (i.e. not attending school due to bathroom accomodations, anxiety and not being able to attend the party). They legally have to make accomodations for him.

This teacher needs to be held to a higher standard. And based on what you have described, they think that they can just ignore your son's needs and shove him off to the next year's teacher. Well think again.

Is there another teacher in his grade that is better with the ADHD, special needs kids? You might want to request a reassignment.

Mom2ADHDBoy,

No, we didn't have to adjust his Daytrana at all. In addition to the Daytrana,
we added 12.5 mg. of Zoloft for several weeks and then went up to 25mg.
For now it is working pretty well. His Daytrana patch is 15mg. He still has
some anxiety, but it is not keeping him from school or any activities
thankfully. I believe that even without any medications, he has a level of
anxiety. He also is a "perfectionist" in many aspects - it's just a personality
trait.

[QUOTE=babygonz]Mom2ADHDBoy,

No, we didn't have to adjust his Daytrana at all. In addition to the Daytrana,
we added 12.5 mg. of Zoloft for several weeks and then went up to 25mg.
For now it is working pretty well. His Daytrana patch is 15mg. He still has
some anxiety, but it is not keeping him from school or any activities
thankfully. I believe that even without any medications, he has a level of
anxiety. He also is a "perfectionist" in many aspects - it's just a personality
trait.[/QUOTE]

I also wanted to address your post, but I have gotten so caught up over this teacher fiasco that I have forgotten the root of the problem.

My son also has a significant amount of anxiety without the medication. As a matter of fact, my sons fear of bugs started in pre-school - BEFORE he was ever diagnosed and medicated for ADHD. So I know that it isn't just the medication. But, I do know for a fact that the medication is making the anxiety worse. See, when it happened in pre-school it was limited to flying bugs and only bothered him outside. So it didn't really impair his daily functioning. His teacher did tell me however that he sat out during recess for fear of the flying bugs. But just as things come and go at that age so did his fear. It only just recently resurfaced. He had an anxiety attack over a big bug in the living room about a month or so ago and hasn't been the same since.

I'm glad to hear your child was able to remain on the Daytrana patch. I have to say I can do nothing but sing it's praises. It has helped us the more than any of the other medications. The only problem is if my son gets outside, or overheated and sweaty the patch starts to irritate his skin. Hence, him taking it off...And it isn't so much him just defiantly taking it off, but that he starts to scratch and pick at it until he has removed it. The school he attends is a poor city school. They are having air conditioning problems this year therefore the rooms have been warm and he has been remaining in a constant warm state. I believe that once winter gets here the patch will do just fine again. As long as we can get the anxiety under control. I hate to add another med, but I also hate to go through a testing phase right here at the beginning of school. So if it is at all possible to keep him on the patch I will. And I appreciate you responding. I am oin to sugest just this...That he remain on the Daytrana and try another med along with it.

[QUOTE=lostship]

LonerGirl--

Is there another teacher in his grade that is better with the ADHD, special needs kids? You might want to request a reassignment.

[/QUOTE]

Lostship -

No, my son does not have an IEP. I know that is a huge shame on me, but he has not 'needed' one until now. As a matter of fact, before all this started I was reading the book "Making The System Work For Your Child With ADHD" By Peter Jensen(Which I highly reccomend). I was thinking how I need to learn as much as I can so that if anything came up I would be prepared. I just had a gut feeling that this year was going to be different. But, I haven't had time to finish the book. And now I could really use that information.

He has the same teacher he had last year. She's the kind of teacher that is all smiles, "Your kid is great. No problem!", but then he seems to be getting marks at school on an almost daily basis. When you confront her she acts like it's no big deal, but then calls you frustrated asking if you medicated your kid today. She just really seems to push the medication issue. She had me frustrated last year over his handwriting. All things considered, it was something I was just not going to make a huge deal over...He was doing so well in every other area and was an advanced reader to boot...Why does he need to be perfect, you know. She seemed ticked off with me that I didn't see his handwriting as a big deal. But, the OT had tested him and said he was fine. I mean, why push it he was 5 just turning six last year...

Anyway, I got off on a tangent there. Yes, I have considered that perhaps another teacher might be in order, but right now I feel like I haven't a leg to stand on. You are right. They do seem very unwilling to accomdate him or be understanding or accepting of his ADHD. As a matter of fact, I get the feeling that since he has an official diagnosis they think it is a cure all. As if just knowing makes it all go away...Put the kid on meds and treat him just like everyone else. It just doesn't work like that. I'm not trying to excuse him or his behaviour but he has a diagnosis for a reason and I don't think he should be held accountable for his actions IN THE SAME WAY that his classmates are. That is entirely my opinion of course and they may think otherwise, but if something isn't done with my being nice and asking; I will make her teaching career this year a living nightmare. I will become the parent she dreads seeing. LOL.

Thanks to everyone for reasponding. It helps so much to know that I am not alone!

LonerGirl39319.9153125

My son has been on Daytrana patch for a few months. Doing quite well until a month ago. He started getting extremely anxious and started getting really frightened over bugs. I couldn't go or do anything without him right on my butt like velcro. I assumed it was a phase and was just taking it day by day.

Fast forward...

School started a couple of weeks ago. Along with that came him removing the patch. He was saying it was irritating his skin and would just take it off. I noticed right away that his anxiety would lessen dramatically off of medication. So I left it off of him a few days to heal his skin. I put it back on and right away the anxiety started up. He couldn't even use the bathroom without me standing with him. So I decided to cut the patch in half. That worked seemingly okay for a few days. Then he came home from school with wet pants He said he was afraid to go to the bathroom at school...The next day I kept the patch off hoping it qould help. He pooped himself at school. I didn't so much as even get a call. I thought it was odd. But let it go. I figured maybe no one noticed.

TODAY he came home and had done it again. He told me his teacher knew, his classmates knew....I still did not get a phone call! I called the school...Surprise, surprise..I got voicemail for both the principal and his teacher. This just feels unbelievable to me. My son won't give me the whole story...He just turned 7. But it's my understanding that the teacher knew and/or faculty knew and chose to ignore it. My son said he was sent outside for disrupting class, he told a teacher outside that he had to go potty. She told him no. He then tells me he told his reular teacher he pooped in his pants and she shut the door in his face. He came home on the bus after school and told me he pooped his pants at school and he wasn't even embarrassed!

I am shocked, angry and I don't even want to send him back to school. There is just no excuse for him coming home three days in a row having used the bathroom on himself...

What would you all do? I need some serious advice? I'm still angry at the fact that I have not gotten a phone call! I know his teacher is probably frustrated with him having not been medicated...But what am I to do. I can't see the doctor until next week. I'm just doin what I think is right. Anyway...Does anyone have any advice?

Wow. Is it possible for you to go up to the school with him tomorrow, maybe a few minutes early and try to catch the teacher before class? Or maybe the principal? I don't usually advocate interupting a teacher just before her day begins, but this is something that needs to be addressed immediately.

There is no excuse for them treating him that way whether they were frustrated or not. Do you think your son would just get up and go to the bathroom even if the teacher said no if you told him it was ok, but only in an emergency?

As far as being afraid to go to the bathroom alone- that's definetely something the doctor will need to know. It sounds like the anxiety is seriously interfering with his ability to function like a typical 7 yr. old.

My ds just turned 7 and has ADHD with anxiety. Guess what - the anxiety
focuses on bugs! When spring hit last school year, he was freaked about
flies, wasps and bees. He hated to be outside and would freak out if he saw
a flying insect. We tried therapy to desensitize him (and every other method
we could think of). Didn't do much help. What did finally help is putting
him on 25 mg. of Zoloft. It really helps ALOT. He has very few instances of
bug anxiety these days. It lessened so much. No potty problems here, just
anxiety. You might want to either switch meds or add something for the
anxiety. I would definitely speak to his teacher about this. There is no
reason that your son should not be allowed to use the bathroom. Can you
email her or call her at home?

I would talk to the principal and say that they way they are handling the potty issue is affecting your son's self concept. Tell them that because of his attention issues he is not always as aware of when he needs to use the toliet, and you would like them to accommodate last minute requests to use the toliet.

My guess is that if he's taking the patch off, maybe it's not working for him anymore. I don't know if you just need to switch or if you need to add an anxiety med to the mix, but it sounds like you need a change.

Lonergirl,

I would drive him to school in the morning and walk into the class to talk with the teacher and the principal. They will proabaly be defensive, so be prepared, just in case!

There is some anxiety going on about the bathroom so you all need to be a team to help your son get over this. Try to get them to work with you, ask them for help, instead of being mad at them(I know I would be!). You honestly need their help and if you try it this way maybe they will work with you.

I just hate to see your son going through this, and the kids better not pick on him!! Mention that too so that they will keep an eye out for that as well!

My school has what they call an adjustment counselor, I wonder if you have someone like this at your school. She helps with bullying, anxiety, friend issues, depression, all kid stuff. She even has a lunch bunch and all the kids want to go! Ask the principal and teacher if there is someone like this who could talk with your son. They sometimes put the children in groups so they don't feel singled out and role play, have snacks, etc. They are working, but the kids also like it and even think it is fun!

Please let us know what happens! Best wishes.

Beth

Lonergirl, I would also look into another med. The patch doesn't sound like it is "helping" him. There are a lot of other meds that you can try. With all that anxiety that the patch gives him, it is so not worth it.

Remember, the medication and the dose is considered working when the person taking it is successful. So even if some think the dose is high, as long as they are having successful days, that is the recommended dose.

My son takes concerta. He is only 10. At the age of 7 he was at 72mgs of it. But he was successful. It lasted for 3 years at that dose. He just went up to 90mgs and is successful again!

Take the time to try another med for your son! Things will change for the better!!

I agree on bringing him into school tomorrow. And to not accomodate a bathroom request is just cruel. As for THEM being irritated that he is not medicated, TOUGH--you are not required to medicate and they have no right to react, comment, etc.

Did you inform the school that you were in the process of a bad reaction to med/change in med? You should let them know, explain that he is having anxiety, and that you have made arrangements to see the doc. Then suggest that it would be the best for everyone if they could make every effort to help him through this rough spot.

LonerGirl, you know what is really sad is that you don't know if the teacher is frustrated or even knows he is not medicated, you haven't been able to reach her, nor has she called you!

She may not even know anything about meds!

Any update yet???

I was waiting to update until I heard back from his teacher or the school and, sad to say, I have still not heard back.

I kept him home on Friday because I wanted to talk to someone at the school before I brought him back in. I did not want a repeat of what happened on Thursday. I called the school and his teacher was actually out sick on Friday! Grrr. So his father called the school yet again on Friday to speak to the principal and guess what?...Another voicemail. And STILL NO CALL! I am beyond angry at this point. It's ridiculous that I couldn't get a call back sometime before the weekend. (I know some of you probably think I should storm the school, and believe me I want to, but I have another child currently enrolled there that just so happens to be in a class with the nephew of my older son's teacher) Whew that was a mouthful. So basically I want to do this the nice way. But who knows, my patience is wearing very thin at this point.)

Now, I am torn on whether or not to send him back on Monday or to school at all! I'm just not so sure I want to deal with a school that I can't get a hold of, period!

Lotship, I totally agree. I don't have to medicate my son and chances are they would have to deal with that somehow. I could be a real nightmare parent with a nightmare child...But, you know what, I'm not and I still can't get any cooperation. I know my son needs medication to function at his best at school, but currently we are having some trouble with his meds. And YES this teacher does know. My ex husband had a talk with her at the beginning of last week over a reward party. I said it was unfair that he would be unable to attend simply because he had too many marks which came from not being medicated(He was taking the patch off). So this teacher knows.

I am just so angry I am fuming and now I have to spend my entire weekend worrying about it.