New to board Need help | ADHD Information
Hi Upanddown --
I'm 34-year-old female also and just "officially diagnosed" Nov 1 through and IQ test and subsequent ADD related questionaire.
Though it's interesting and reliving to have something confirmed I've known I was a little different since I was in 3rd grade. Now, I can't help but be angry with the lack of systems available when I was young. My parents had my IQ tested in 2nd and 5th grade (results: highly-gifted), but never took formal steps to access what the results meant. They sent me to several behavioral specialists, but not one of them ever offered "ADD" as a diagnosis to my behavior. I was usually labeled lazy by the teachers in high school, who couldn't understand why a student testing in the 98% tile was getting Cs,Ds and Fs. I went to about 6 different community colleges, early on getting D's or F's or dropping the classes. It wasn't until I was about 26 that the light went off and I thought, I'm never going to get anywhere w/o a college degree. I did really well except for classes were I really needed to study and couldn't just retain the material I recently learned in class. I only got Cs in Shakespheare and British History -- because I couldn't sit long enough to read and I dropped out of College Algebra (I still need this and a computer class to formally receive my degree).
So now I've been working in Marketing/Public Relations for five years. I have been at my current job for three years, have learned a lot and want to go on to the next logical step on my career ladder. The problem is I know I don't have the needed social and memory skills to successfully fill upper-management roles.
This is why I finally decided to get tested, start meds (Adderal), see a counselor. I really don't think that I can get to the next step being it getting another job, starting a family or keep telling my husband that I'm going to get help and never follow through.
Anyway this is my first post and I feel like I'm just rambling on. One thing I was wondering if anyone else feels "When you are talking to someone do you feel like they are really disinterested in what you are saying and kind of in the middle of talking you sense this and you just stop talking in the middle of your story because you sense their boredom or lack of interest?" another interesting thing is when people start talking about something I am unfamiliar with or have no interest in my ears just "TURN OFF". It's like I'm looking at them and trying to listen, but nothing is registering in my brain. Again rambling.
Thanks for reading....
Hi up and down...welcome.
ME TOO.
Actually, you and I are taking the same medication. I am just starting to take Zoloft and Adderall. I take Xanax once in awhile when my anxiety is over the top. I have trouble sleeping too. I struggle to maintain a balance between being too stimulated or tired.
Exhausting, isn't it?
Hang in there; keep reading and posting. It's hard to feel good about yourself when you have a brain that makes messes of things, overreacts, etc., but there's hope.
bb
Well if you are a freak - welcome from a fellow freak - sheesh - why let this pull you down. You should be happy, because now you are at the starting blocks of a new race.
But now you have some direction!
You are still the same person as prior to your diagnosis. You need to now Get over that and Get on with it!
Cheers
Rae7038309.0321180556Okay just saw your edited version.
Yes I think I have control over myself NOW. But a couple of years ago I was just as hard on myself as you are on yourself.
You have to forgive yourself, understand your limitations and work within them.
If you let people down, if you forget things, if you insult people accidently, none of this is your fault. But if you continue to forgive your transgressions and continue to start fresh each day, over time, you will be happy with who you are.
You will never be perfect - no one is. But treat yourself as your own best friend.
Also I understand a life coach is good - i dont have one but others swear by them
Hi, I am a 34 year old female, who has been living with ADHD all of my life. I was just diagnosed 6 months ago. Well, that explained a lot, I mean a lot! I have always been diagnosed with depression, but when my Dr of 5 years suggested I might be ADHD I freaked out. Took the test, my family took the test and my husband took the blimey test. I also have very very highs and lows and due to all of this and my self worth goes down the drain. Am I a freak of nature? Why Me? 
Does anyone else out there have control over their ADHD?
I take Adderall 3 times a day, Ativan 3 times a day, Zoloft 100mg once a day.
I do not function or maybe I am just dysfunctional.
I cannot get a handle on anything. example:
I have 2 note books to keep up my thoughts, where I am to be, my list for daily activities, things I do not want to forget. I have 3 calendars to remind me if important events and a newly purchased address book.
I am always running around with my head some where else. I am forgetful, stressed out, I do not sleep and when I do sleep I do not rest. I am often tired the next day. As you can see this message was posted early in the morning.
I am irritable, quick tempered, and high dysfunctional. But some days I can be the sweeties most generous loving person you have met in your life.
Is there anyone else who feels this way and what have you accomplished to control you behavior?
upandown38309.0324652778
I want thank you guys for helping me feel welcome. This is not easy. It is a day to day struggle to just hold my head above water. Some days I just want to throw in the towel and quit, things would be a lot easier on everyone, BUT, I am too narcissistic and will want to read the next chapter in my life---It has to get better. I am seriously going to try and work on my self-control. C O N T R O L !
My physician told be about a book that helps people with ADHD called, Driven to Distraction by Edward M. Hallowell and John J. Rafey. He said it has a check list in the back, of things to start working on in the future.
The later half of my life, 13 and on I lived in a very disciplined home. My adopted father, who is now MY Father who I adore and worship, taught me to always have a plan. He gave me the only life skills I have today. And he was only being a good Dad. If it was not for the strict discipline I received, I know I would be like Tarzan in the wild jungle of life.
Today is a good day. I am tired but do feel at peace with myself. I have to work harder, have more self-control. This is the only life I have to live.
I do not know who I am going to be when I wake up in the morning? No, no not split personality or anything like that, just will I be an up person or a down person?
I always thought that the bad choices I made in life were the result of my actions. Now I know I really did not have control over those choices or how I handled the reactions.
My mind does not sleep, never has. I have had night terrors since I was a small child. My sleep study showed my REM never stop, or something like that. I take the Ativan for this. I still wake up in the middle of the night screaming, because of the terror I feel. Everyone in my family knows about this, and for years just told me I needed to grow up. I take the amphetamine to slow me down during the day. I go around, and around and around, in my head all day long.
I can do 5 different things at one time, never loose a step. I have always been very organized. But that, I know now is because my father. He taught me to always finish what I start.
There is so much about this ADHD that I would like to learn about with others like me, not just researching and reading books. I am very opened minded, so please if you have any words of wisdom...Share with me please.
upandown38309.7296759259
"When you are talking to someone do you feel like they are really disinterested in what you are saying and kind of in the middle of talking you sense this and you just stop talking in the middle of your story because you sense their boredom or lack of interest?"
~~~~~~~
Yes, Cityaz17, I think this many times when talking w/someone. I wonder if it's due to my inability to summerize an event, experience, etc. I get stuck on details when relating to others, get off track and then forget, or never get to, the point I'm attempting to make!
I've been practicing what I'm going to say before I say it. For example: When I need to call a company regarding, say, a mistake on a bill, instead of rambling on w/details of their past errors, I simply tell them they need to correct an error they've made. If I don't practice this, I'll literally exhaust myself and confuse the heck out of the CS person! Ahaaa!
marzie
Hi cityaz17,
Are you sure you don't know me? You sound like my twin. How long have you been taking the Adderal? I feel so much more in-tune with myself now. I can focus on what people are saying to me, without thinking of my response before they are finished with their sentence. I drove for 5 hours this weekend to visit a friend. I was able to focus on driving and not everything around me. I did not become bored, my mind did not wonder and the drive did not seem to take 5 hours. I might take another trip soon.
I do come down hard off the adderal, but I now feel as if my mind is resting when I sleep. I do not work anymore, but I also went as high up the ladder as I could. I did not have the communication skills to go further. I was not able to form complete sentences when talking to a large group, I would become very very nervous addressing more than one person. I just could not find the words needed. I was very efficient, hard working, able to organize anything.
I did not believe in ADHD. I believed it was a gimmick for the drug companies. I was shocked when I was diagnosed, but as the same time I was relieved and happy that I am not crazy.
Good Luck!
Upandown
Upandown -
I started Adderal the second week of November. I've been keeping to my dosing pretty loyally, but I'm always curious how long I'll be able to stick to it, you know, like most things.
I'm just like you, love to build and organize things and have really great ideas, but HATE being the one standing in front of the room addressing a large group. One of the most difficult things for me is when words or phrases LEAP from my mouth from out of nowhere. Most of the time this is quite embarassing, occuring in a professional atmosphere. I swear I think some of the people I work with must think I'm an idiot.
And I know about not being able to form complete sentences.. do you feel sometimes like you're stuttering?? Sometimes I feel like I'm someone with Tourettes who stutters a lot!!
I've known I've had ADHD for many years, but couldn't afford to take the test. The funny thing is my mother is a classic case, with perhaps some bi-polarness mixed in. She doesn't think I have it and when I told her it's actually genetic, she didn't want to hear that.
Have a good one.
Cityaz17,
Stuttering? Oh, yes. Especially when I am excited, my mind moves faster than my mouth. I cannot talk fast enough. "What is the word? What is the word?", that's what I'm always saying. LMS... Leaping Mouth Syndrome. (ha ha) 
I would say things for absolutely NO REASON. My Adderall is working, I can tell because I do not blurt things out without thinking.
No one ever said, "Do you think you have AHAD?". I even asked my mother once if she dropped me on my head as a baby. I knew something was different, I was not like other children. I took the paper work to my mom and asked if she and dad would fill it out, she looked at me like I was crazy. Afterward, she said, "I think you have this." She started telling about things I would do that she found odd and things that would tick her off. I always had note cards, always wrote anything I had to remember down several times. My parents are very open to this disease now. When I am around my mother she is always asking if I have taken my medication.
I take 5mg 3 times a day. I have to set a timer to remember to take my meds. I could not handle 10mg. I stayed up for 2 days straight, my heart would not slow down, I thought I was going out of my mind.
Any of this sound familiar?
Upandown