Has social skills training made your son | ADHD Information

I am happy for you, it is so hard when our kids get rejected by others.  Thank goodness for socialization skills.

I agree that correcting others can be a problem for ADHD kids.  My ds' teacher last year (1st grade) used to say that he had a bossiness problem due to this kind of behavior.  She and I worked with him that he only should tell what someone else is doing if someone will get hurt or if something will be damaged.  Otherwise, ignore it even if they aren't following a rule.  Unfortunately, he still has these issues.  If anyone has any solutions, I'd love to hear it. 

I should add that this problem gets worse when the impulsivity is worse (due to needing a meds adjustment or due to wearing off for the day).  I guess in part it has to do with filtering thoughts and not saying everything you think.

A few comments on social skills training.

Social skills work needs to be done in "real time" or at "the point of of performance" whichever you prefer. It needs to be done a setting where the children are being interactive. Reactions to behaviors should be fast-within 15 seconds or less after observing the behavior.

Something to keep in mind: A good description of ADHD is that of an "output" disorder not an "input one".  For the most part the kids know what to do, it is doing what they know that is the problem. This is especially true for ADHD kids. That is why all behavioral work with ADHD kids needs to be at the output side not the input-when the behavior occurs-not later.

A not totally accurate but useful metaphor is thinking of of the back side of the brain as the input side and the front of the brain as the output side. ADHD has a major impact of the front part of the brain. Mostly the back side is ok.  The front is where the deficit is and that is where social skills training should be applied. It can be quite successful if done well by someone who is familiar with what needs to be done.

A note: if the consequences are very fast after the behavior occurs, the consequences can be quite mild and still get the job done. Wait,fuss, warn then more then after you are quite aggravated do something then the consequence will have to be much greater and does not always change behavior very well. Those who act win, those who talk loose.

Hope this is of some help.

One thing for true, AHDH are never dull.

Dizfriz

oops an extra "o" snuck in on lose.my 2 cents are with NoTellin that 6 year olds are bossy. M youngest is 5 1/2, although she is not necessarily bossy, having an older sister with ADHD , but boy some of her friends! These kids do not have ADHD. I also think some of this will subside. As he does have ADHD he may need to guided. Talk to guidance counselor at school and teachers. Dont approach them like they have to fix it, but let them know you are worried about this socially. They work with same age kids in groups and as a team you can get him past this. I know it's hard when your child doesnt fit in, I have one too, but I'd rather it be because of politeness over bullying. My daughter is almost too naive and sweet, but especially at this teen time, I'll take it. Also discuss with whoever is doing his social skills development. Good Luck, he sounds like an good kid.Thanks guys!  I do feel better, and as things have improved for DH I'm hoping this will also improve.  It just kills me to see how hard it all can be for him to make friends.  When I posted it was the end of 2 days that were pretty tough for him with other kids, and i was in a, "why does everything have to beso far for him??" funk........thanks for the support. I think the controlling behavior -- do this, don't do that -- is pretty typical ADHD behavior (if not typical 5 yo behavior!). I kinda doubt this is related to the social skills training. It sounds like the training helped him part way. It helped him with how he should view things and manage conflict -- the big picture. But the details of social interactions is still missing, especially the non-verbal piece. Maybe you just need to talk daily about how he is only in charge of himself. Eventually he'll get it. I remember during my son's 1st grade year the "social" lighbulb went on. Not that he's got it down entirely now, but he's definately much less clueless. .....have a harder time being accepte by "typical" kids? In so many ways I am so proud of the huge changes I see in my son.....the aggressive impulses are really a thing of the past (with help of medication as well).  BUT.......he is now often shunned by boys his age because he makes himself the captain of nice....."You shouldn't do this, you shouldn't say that" and w/sskills he has it drilled into him to tell an adult if he's upset (this is better than puching a kid in face...KWIM?) but he comes off as a tattle tale.  Since he has been trained to talk about his feelings he'll stand up for himself and say to a peer, "that hurt my feelings, and now I'm sad and angry" and usually he gets a look from the other kid like, "what, are you kidding?".  **sigh** He's an intelligent, albeit, quirky kid, with a good heart.  I just hate to watch him be rejected for all the good work he's done.  He's starting full day K next week, and I am so worried about him being rejected again, and again like he has been.  He knows he's not fitting in, and it stinks to see it and hurts to watch.  What do I do???