If I was at the point of being fed up, I would probably have a talk with him (regardless of what adult was standing there) before the festivities begin, and describe my behavior expectations in great detail--what is and is not appropriate. Then when he misbehaved I would discipline him. After three strikes, the consequence would be that he is not permitted to play with my child, who would simultaneoulsy be told that she is not to play with him for the rest of the day, and she will go home if she does. If a child like this goes unchecked and you are negatively affected, I really think that you have the right to discipline as needed.
If you think offering a reward to your daughter for staying away from him would work, then that's an even better solution.
My demon nephew does not have ADHD but Auditory Processing and just plain being spoiled. He gets what he wants and does have a nasty temper but he is like his mother she was always mean to me growing up why we are not close at all. My family treats him like he can do no wrong and because his father died it is always poor baby and gets spoiled some more. My family is always helping my sister that he hardly is with his mother and she is off having lots of breaks. My husband and I go out 1-2 x per year and use my mother-in-law and most of the time my mother-in-law baby sits is when I am working and need her for that. [QUOTE=NoTellin]If I was at the point of being fed up, I would probably have a talk with him (regardless of what adult was standing there) before the festivities begin, and describe my behavior expectations in great detail--what is and is not appropriate. Then when he misbehaved I would discipline him. [/QUOTE]
Yes, I do that. When my nephew was 4 he had the habit of running off and disappearing. The whole family were at an airport watching my husband get a flight in a Tiger Moth, which he had won. Well my inlaws and sister in law went off, without asking me and my friend to watch the kids. Anyway I soon noticed ALL the kids were my job. Next second I turned around and Liam was gone! It only took me a few seconds to find him but I was scared sh*tless, so I grabbed him by the scruff of his neck, dragged him to his mother and told him in front of her in a loud voice that he was NEVER to do that again - and left him with her. When later on she yelled at my son for not watching his little cousin I told her to watch her own kids.
Familes can be difficult things can't they?
Tell her beforehand not to go near him and maybe offer a reward if she carries this out. Maybe if she starts ignoring him he will get the picture. Are they sure he doesn't have ADHD too? Sounds like his behaviour is pretty awful.
I agree with gutsy, sounds like something is going on with him as well!I have to agree with Gutsy and BethAnn. He really sounds as though he may have untreated ADHD. And since your daughter has been 'labeled' it's 'okay' for them to ignore their own sons problems and blame your daughter.
As you know by now most people will automatically blame the ADHD child no matter what happened. They tend to think whether they started it or not, they most likely had a hand in it and it's just easier than accusing your own child of misbehaviour.
I really don't know what the solution is. We have similiar problems when the whole family gets together. I try to stay away from my family as much as possible. I know it hurts to be treated that way, but just because you share the same blood line does not mean you have to put up with these people treating you and yours like crap!
LonerGirl39325.2195023148I agree with everyone above. We have a Demon Cousin, and frankly I do everything within my power to keep DD away from her. When we are forced to be with the entire family i offer DD a reward at the end of the event for staying away from the Demon Cousin. She has other's to play with, and it works well for us. Usually when everyone else realizes that noone wants to be around one particular child they take a look at that childs behavior and yours stops being blamed.I think keeping them apart is your best bet. All you really need to tell your daughter is that they get too wild when they play together, so for special events (like Bar- Mitsvas) where that's not appropriate they have to stay awy from each other.
It might work better if you could enlist your sister's help with a nuetral comment like, "You know how wild they get, maybe for sanity's sake we could keep them apart for a few hours?"
My nephew is 8 months older than my daughter and is a mean brat. He will tease my girl, always gets her hyper by making her chase him and I try chasing her to save her from herself and she does not get it, will spit in her face, make mean comments and faces at her all the time. As for my daughter she tolerates it and does not seem to notice his meaness for she thinks he is her cousin and is happy over that alone the concept. It is so hard to enjoy family functions for we are always looking out for my daughter to protect her for he would succer hit her and claim accident if you let him and No one in the family will acknowledge or see this. My child for having ADHD always gets the blame for trouble also he will play with others and exclude my girl on purpose with my other nephews daughter.