Has anyone mastered help with | ADHD Information
A checklist worked for my son for the first 4 or 5 times, after that he refused to use it. What I did was make a list then fold it so that he could only see 1 thing at a time. When that was done he unfolded it one fold to see what the next thing was, and so on.
Lately I've just tried to be more on top of it, so the mess doesn't pile up but it doesn't usually work. So on the weekends he has to clean his room- he whines and complains or screams and shouts (and then he's fine- sometimes I think he just needs to get it out) and then I tell him just start with the laundry. When that's done I'll tell him one more thing to pick up, etc.
As for the rest of the house- I got sick of both the kids leaving their stuff all over. I made a checklist of all the rooms in the house and the kids can earn 10cents/room IF I don't find any of their stuff in it that day. In our house that can add up to 70 cents/day. If I find something that belongs to one of them, then that child gets a checkmark for that room and I get a list of where their stuff is at the end of the day to make sure they've picked it all up before bed.
As for what your daughter's house will look like as an adult- it will probably look a bit like mine. Stuff piles up and piles up (I actually move the piles to clean around them) and then once a month (usually during that pms-y week) I get overwhelmed by the mess and totally lose it. Then I literally can't stop cleaning until the mess is gone. My husband complains cause he can't even help when I'm like that because if he starts cleaning something up to help me I yell at him for screwing up my list of things to do (that is actually kept in my brain where he can't see it- poor guy 
).
As for picking up after themselves we are battling that one - more with my 5 year old who will drop anything she can. We are starting the practice of taking one thing out, play with it and when finished put it back and get another one out. I know this is how they have to do things at school so I am reiterating that at home.
As for clothes- I am at a loss to have my 5 year old keep it organized and not shoved into every nook and corner but my 7 year old isn't too bad with it.
I tell my kids the need to develop good habits so they become easy and without thought - They understand this well now but it took a while. They also have to put their dishes away at every meal.
Add one thing at a time to get them used to something and then add another thing. It will become easier but sometimes people aren't born with the clean gene. I remember my brother being messy and his wife tells me he still is and he is 40. And we grew up in a house with our father was like Felix Unger from the Odd Couple...LOL
Well we always battled this. Now I expect her bed made and clothes off the floor daily (most days she kicks them under bed). Whatever, when Saturday morning comes, no one does anything until rooms are clean. No t.v., computer, toys until clean. They can dilly dally all they want only they suffer. So if they shove everythgin in the closet and under the bed all week, it's more work on Saturday morning for them because I do under the bed and closet checks before they can play.
We've gotten a little lax on this rule over the summer, but it worked well and we will keep it going.
You're daughter is only 7, dont worry about her as a grown p yet. Also, if she has a messy house as a grown up, you wont have to look at it . Recently my daughter (now 13) really wants her own money, so we've added a few chors that I know she can handle for an allowance. Walking the dogs and emptying the dishwasher whenever it's full, on top of her room. I've tried this in the past to no avail, it's now working. I will continually add house chores, but school and homework is such a struggle for her, I tend not to pile on much during the school year.
I tell my son that he has 30 minutes to clean up anything not in his room or it goes in the garbage. He runs around like a banshe cleaning up. As for his room, I just tell him to stay in there until it's (reasonably) clean. I might tell him that he can play with a friend when he's done.Cleaning the house yet? I have a 7 year old who will be 8 early November and when it comes to introducing chores she does not care as for when we do clean she avoids and disappears. Her bedroom was a disaster and I gave up on it when we had company I would shut her door well today decided to tackle it and would you know she refused and whinned and complained so now since she did not help I took away her TV and Computer privilages and mind you we did not go outdoors today yet for it took longer to clean all day with no help another hidden consequence.I have always given her credit when she does pick her things up but she is never consistant. Anyone else ever try anything that worked? I am concerned for what is she going to do as an adult and has her own place? I have done similar posts like this before but I always come back to it for newer people in the same boat. I have thought of making a chore list but would it work I do not know.
Diane V and notelling have the right idea.
I will add a couple of ideas that I have found to be useful
1. If the child is old enough to read, make a checklist on what in involved in the chore. (For cleaning up their room, be sure to add clean under the bed-if you don't, they will spot it in a heartbeat.) They get one free inspection, if they fail the second they get another job (small). See below on enforcing this. Don't you fight them, have them fight the checklist.
2. Don't get into a battle. A very good way is to simply give a time limit. When that limit is up, tell the kid "O.K. there are no privileges until it is done. No TV, going outside or video games. Take as long as you want. It is your choice." The point is not to fight to make them do but to put the responsibility on the child where it belongs.
An idea that goes along with this this:
Develop a two or three level job list.-easy(a),medium(b), hard(c). When they ,for example, fail the second inspection on the room, tell them they also have decided to do another job. Tell them to pick from list a. If they do not want to pick the tell them you are going to pick one that you want done the most....no privileges until it is done. If they really do not want the job then fine. Have them pick a job from the second column.-same terms. There are a couple of variations I can discuss if anyone is interested.
The big thing is to not become enmeshed in a battle to make them do the chore. If you do, you are playing in their ball park and they will win. Even if they get into trouble, they are in control. They, not you, have decided if there is going to be a battle, how big it is going to be and when it is going to be. They have you like a puppet on a string. Don't play their game. If you get upset they win, if you do not then you do. Simplistic perhaps but usually very accurate. Don't forget they know a lot more about you than you know about them. They know all of your hot buttons...you don't know all of theirs <grin>.
Anyway good luck. Raising an ADHD child is a lot like riding a bike on cobblestones. Lots of shaking and bumping and is it hard to keep control of the bike. Given time and patience, you can survive the ride and get there.
Dizfriz