Homeschooling is not for everyone. I tried this with my 13 year old son at the time and we lasted 4 months. I found that the world that his world shrunk to our home. Although he complained about going to school and said how he hated everyone and everything, he actually needed them. When we went on a holiday after this 4 months, everytime we'd encounter a family get together he would hide away. This could have been because he was seriously distressed (the reason why we left the school).
We decided on homeschooling because the pychiastrist felt that he needed to "heal". He said that some kids hate to socialise and that with ASD he was one of these kids. Hew didn't want it...didn't need it. In fact he felt socialising was a very negative factor. I felt though he needed to go back to school as his comfortzone has shrunk down and he was becoming more isolated.
Homeschooling for us meant me and him 24/7. His older sister was off at boarding school and he got very lonely. It also put alot of strain on our relationship. I had to become a teacher, friend and mother. As a primary teacher I thought this wou be easy but he became very argumentative as I tried to get him to work. We worked through our state distance education unit where the kids talk daily to their teacher and class on a telephone set up. This was great - contact with the world!!!! I thought this would take the pressure off me - he would have to do the work for someone else. We had so many heated arguments.
So we have gone back to school - the school is small and the same place he was before. I felt that he needed this small environment. The teachers are new and have no idea of how he was before he left. They don't see the wounded boy. We are unhappy with the schooling at present as the work is really of a substandard quantity and he is doing basically very little. But he is happy!!!!
To do school work, then homeschooling wins hands down - but education is about the whole child. Ideally, a tutor would have been best for our son, but it was just far too expensive 4-5 hours a day 5 days a week. I need him to learn the social cues, to conform, to face consequences. This can't be done the same way at home.
Each child is so different!!!!!!!! Not every parent is suited to home schooling. In saying all of this, I have a number of friends who love it and the kids are thriving. Make sure that you get a good network of support around you and find others who are homeschooling so that your child has access to other kids and adults.
Hi there -- we are just starting our 2nd year homeschooling with DS, age 8 (almost 9). To me, it seems like a lot less work than fighting with the school system!
well my daughter ame home today from her first day and she was on cloud 9! She is so exicted be with her friends again and loves her schedule, she has cooking and art and a science teacher with an iguana in the room. She really enjoys going there, even at her most down. She dosesnt have a lot of social acitivites outside school for variuos reasons, we've trede everything from soccer to dance to gymnastics, swimming, band all of it. Horse back riding is all that suits her. She needs the socialization.
Lonergirl, good luck to you, I hope this can work for your family.
I have ruled out homeschooling for now because my son LOVES his social life. He totally enjoys the school environment -- all of the people and activiiies! The school administration manages to torture me on a regular basis, but my son seems completely oblivious to my situation. I think he would be a sad boy if he stayed home with me.Notelling, you made me laugh so loudly when I just read "torture" as a descriptor of the treatment from school authorities. It can be so painful and I know exactly ... my son's main teacher is revolting and my son has no idea!!!!! We'd love to move schools but for the first time in many years he seems settled. So I suppose I'll just keep enduring the punishment ... Every time she sees me driving into school and she is on duty outside she runs inside!!!! I think I am quite nice...
Just to add another story, I too considered homeschooling. I also feel he needs the socialztion, the education that I cannot give him, the dignity of him doing it on his own(A hard thing to let go of) and many of other reasons he needs to be in school if it is possible. After many months of trying alternatives, we turned to a highly reffered child phsyciatrist who specializes in ADHD and anxiety(my sons issues). He suggested a course of FocalinXR and I agonize still, about giving this to him. Since school yesterday (he has only been on 5 days) he is happy, more sure of himself, glad to see his friends and except for homework(our major trigger) is quite at ease. It took me 1 year of "in your face" attitude to get a 504 accomadation plan for him and I am still looking to test him for LD. They do not want to comply. It takes alot of fight with some schools but in the end His happy face, Knowing he had a great day(he even wrote a 3 paragraph essay on his own, granted not at grade level, but he was proud!)was worth it. Last year he would have had a meltdown in class and cried in front of everyone. Well that is my story. Good luck with whatever you choose.I just read your post written in another thread about how much trouble you are having with your daughter's school. I just have to ask...What keeps you sending her back to school and not considering alternatives?
I have had so much trouble with my son's school. I can't get a hold of anyone when I need them. His teacher has yet to call me. His father spoke with the principal and I spoke with the teacher - in the hallway - She said I could have a minute of her time...Nice, huh! I called the pricipal yesterday morning. It took him OVER 24 hours to return my call and guess what. I missed it. AHHHH! I'll probably wait 24 more hours to hear from him again. I want to scream.
Anyway, Why have you not considered homeschooling or an alternative? I am seriously considering homeschooling my son - At least for the remainder of this year. I'm just not sure I have the energy to spend all this time worrying about the school - the phone calls, worrying if my son will get to attend his party each month(Which he didn't last month- AFTER a talk with the teacher over a medication change - That's just flat out unfair!)...Worrying about his using the potty on himself from the anxiety...Just in general worrying over every little aspect. It's driving me crazy and he's only been in school a month!
So I guess this is a question to Diane V and others who want to answer. And also perhaps I could get some avice from other homeschooling moms, too...
Well, for us, I don't think it's the solution for a lot of reasons. My daughter has NLD so her learning disability affects every aspect of her life. It's not just like she needs reading help. So I am literally on her constantly to help her improve life skills. Self grooming, organization skills, some repsonsibility. We'd be at each others throats if I also had to do her education. She also, as I said, has an LD and she needs a LOT of educational support. She has the social issues that go along with NLD and ADHD, so keeping her home will not help her with that AT ALL. Those are the reasons it wouldnt work for her. For me I also work full time and want to be her Mom not her educator. She likes school. She enjoys seeing her friends and generally likes her teachers. She belongs to her little clubs, I think she socially gets great beneift from the school setting. School is just hard for her. She's got so many things in her way. Mainly her LD and ADHD. I'm not totally adverse to sending her elsewhere, but cant afford specialty private, but if public cannot accomodate her we will (with legal help) try to get them to place her.