New (Hi) and Need Advice | ADHD Information
When I read your description of your son it was like reading a copy of what I would write about my son! He is in 3rd grade this year - but a young third grader with an end of August b-day so he just turned 8. We started 1st grade when he had just turned 6 he had breezed through kindergarten and gotten 100% on the standardized tests the kindergarten did to check for readiness for moving on. He had some behavior problems, was socially was a little young for his age, and needed work on fine motor skills but cognitively the teacher and his father and I felt it would be worse to have him repeat the year than move on.
He had gone to a private, developmentally appropriate kindergarten, so the move to the school district where everyone has to do the same thing at the same time and speed was a blow to him. He was not diagnosed with ADHD till the end of a very frustrating 1st grade year. Reading wasn't happening, spelling was a chore, math went ok, but he was very bored and handwriting was illegible. Homework that on a "good night" would take 15 mins would take 1 hr and 45 mins on a meltdown night. Being diagnosed involved comprehensive testing which showed him to be of high IQ. Our first IEP involved reading support, OT for handwriting, behavioral support and gifted ed. Second grade went more smoothly - better teacher, support for us in learning about ADHD, medication for the ADHD and more fun for him.
I often think some of his difficulties lie in being bored in class. Children with ADHD learn a little differently than other children and because they have difficulty staying on task if they aren't interested then they don't put forth as much effort. But if it is truely that he "knows" most of what is being taught - we have a way to go, because if he isn't challenged he tends to whip through an assignment, not check his work and not really show what he knows. Until he can consistently show what he knows then the school is not going to agree to more gifted support or classes on his learning level. Well see what happens. This year is smooth so far and we have learned that sometimes his father - who is suspected ADD - can help him learn things like spelling better because he thinks like our son does.
As for meds - we dithered about them as well but are glad we did because it is giving our boy the ability to be successful. It tore my heart out when he was five and was in trouble for not controling himself when we knew he was intelligent enough to understand how to behave and he said "Mommy I just can't control my body and I don't think I will ever be able to be good." Success in controling his behavior has helped him form friendships and gain self-esteem. We are also beginning to use Omega-3 therapy too. It takes a couple months to really see results but as someone else said it can't hurt....
When you go to the therapist make sure it is one familiar with ADHD - they can really help with strategies and getting to the root of some situations like not wanting to do homework. Ours has helped tremendously in only a month. Make sure to take samples of work he has done so you can track progress over time with the therapist. Ours has also reviewed IEP and has some suggestions for next time or during this year if we feel it will help. I think I am going to have her included in the IEP meeting next year for our support.
Hang in there. It sounds like you have a really bright "daimond in the rough" and are parents who want to provide support so that when he is older he will be capable of managing things on his own. Keep us posted.
Hi Folks,
I'm new and looking for something. What, I'm not sure. Maybe advice, maybe support, maybe reassurance that I'm doing the right thing, maybe a little of all of it.
My son, who will be 8 next month, hit a wall in school last year (1st grade). Suddenly, everything seemed to stop working for him. He couldn't retain sight words or spelling words from week to week, no matter how much we studied, reading became a chore, writing a nightmare, and math - his favorite subject - haphazard, at best.
I know my son is a smart boy, so this seemed dreadfully out of character. At first I thought he might have dyslexia, as we encountered number and letter reversals, and the reading and writing difficulties seemed to fit in with that. So, after much back and forth with the school, and much insisting that my child was neither of below average intelligence nor lazy, we obtained a full psycho-educational evaluation from the school psychologist.
It turns out I was right about his intelligence. He is, indeed, a smart child. No specific learning disabilities were indicated. The psychologist did, however, report that he had characteristics consistent with AD/HD. We took him to his pediatrician who had us do the Connor's rating scale. She concurred.
Older Son also has sleep apnea, so we took him to an ENT who found enlarged tonsils and adenoids and recommended removal. Those came out in May.
Second grade is proving no easier for him. We are spending hours on homework that should not take him so long, primarily due to his extreme distractibility and difficulty writing legibly. He is also very sensitive and emotional - he cries easily - and has trouble keeping friends. If anyone remembers the movie Parenthood, with Steve Martin's son who had a meltdown over losing a retainer, that's my OS. Two nights ago, we had a meltdown because the teacher did not tell him in advance that writing his spelling words in alphabetical order would be part of his homework.
Yesterday my husband gave him money for the book fair. He came home unable to account for roughly . We finally determined that he lost it, even though he was able to keep up with the 3 cents he had received in change.
We've known him to do some strange things for no apparent reason. One day he urinated in a trashcan not 5 feet from the toilet. He never could explain why.
He's fidgety to the point of driving me crazy, and can't seem to wait his turn in conversation - even he will tell you he talks too much - but doesn't seem hyperactive in the climbing the walls sense.
Directions of more than two steps go right through him.
It's not that he's a bad child; he's actually a good kid, eager to please, creative and reasonably well-behaved, but he just can't seem to get it together. And he's so emotional at times that we worry about his social relationships.
We are seeing a child psychiatrist who specializes in AD/HD at the end of this month. I'm bringing pediatric records, a copy of the psychologist's evaluation, and school records. Is this enough? Should I bring something else, too? I know there's no magic test, nor magic answer, for AD/HD, but anything we can do to help, we'll do.
We don't have a firm diagnosis yet, just suggestions from the psychologist and pediatrician, so I feel a bit awkward in posting here. But I'd really appreciate any advice you all can offer.
Thanks so much for the responses.
I'll definitely be making leave-with-the-doc copies. We do have the the Conner's in full. The Ped made sure we had that and the interpretation to take with us.
I looked at the marble system. We tried a somewhat similar reward system some time ago, with limited results. But we didn't include so much immediate gratification. I'll have to see what we can do along those lines. OS does respond well to positive reinforcement, but like anything else it just doesn't seem to stick for long. It's frustrating for both of us. I *want* to praise him; he *wants* to be praised. It's just the other stuff getting in the way.
We're on the fence regarding meds. My husband's pretty dead set against it, but I think we could try it, at least for a while, and see if it helps. We can always stop if we don't like the effects or see any results.
We do get a list of his homework every week. And I spoke with his teacher earlier this month regarding projects and AR testing - we need to know at home what's expected so we can make sure OS completes the task as assigned. I've also volunteered to be the classroom one day a week. I did this last year and not only did it help OS to know that I was there, but it also have me a better sense of his struggles in school - so I don't have to rely only on teacher reports and OS's somewhat garbled memory to see how he is progressing and what he struggles with.
He is sleeping better since the T&A, with no apnea episodes that I've seen, but no, it didn't really alleviate the other symptoms as we had hoped it would.
Welcome,
Make sure what you take in are copies that you can leave with the psychiatrist. He/she will appreciate the records to review. If you have a copy of the Conner's (not just the interpretation) this is good too. The doc will most likely talk to you about your concerns and get a feel for what the further evaluation should look at, so write down your concerns (so you do not forget them).
Take a look at the marble thread by ogram. It is a positive reinforcement behavior plan that can work for school/school work, as well as home behaviors. My youngest used to get a marble for each completed assignment. It helped her work hard, so we could see what issues were part of the ADHD and which were just her.
Take a look at the following sites for more info..
Hang in there. My ds's fine motor skills and handwriting improvedsignificantly with his meds for ADHD. He is on Daytrana for his ADHD. I
am not saying that medication is the way you are headed, but if it is
suggested, don't be afraid to try it. It was a very hard decision for us to
start medication, but our son really benefits from it. My ds is very bright
and a sweet kid, but he does need his meds to succeed in school and with
friends. It made a huge difference. He can sit down and focus on his
work. Even if you don't go with medication, you should look into therapy
perhaps. Maybe even tutoring to give him organizational skills, test
taking skills, etc. Routines and predictability are key. Find out homework
in advance if possible so you know how to help him keep track of what he
needs to do and hand in. My ds had sleep apnea as well when he was
younger and had his tonsils/adnoids removed. We thought that would
solve his ADHD behavior. It didn't really, but he at least can sleep now.
Sleep is key for him. If he doesn't get enough, it affects his behavior.
You are doing the right thing for your son. This will work out, you just
need to find out exactly what is going on and then find the best path to
take.I'm going through the same thing. I have an appiontment with the ADHD clinic at
the end of the month, but My husband and I have already decieded not to do the meds. I have been online reseaching and talking to every one I know who
have children with add and adults with adhd. I don't want to tell you what to do, but
we want to exshalt the healthier options first and the med the last resort.
Most of the non med treatments are good for your child anyway even if he didn't
have adhd, like liquid vitiamins with fish oil. I have my son drinking this and I don't
know if he has add yet, I just figure if it don't help him focus then at least it is still
good for him. I wish you the best.
jaxmom welcome. First don't feel awkward posting here, good for you. It's great if you can educate yourself as much as possible and go to the psych appointment with educated questions. Some of the best suggestions you'll get will be from parents.
The whole point of the marble system is the quick reward. I have a friend using pennies. Her 6 year old is thrilled and feels like a big shot getting money . She's allowed to cash in pennies once a week for either prizes from a prize box or save them up for big things like a friend over for dinner......etc.