I’m New Here....Help! | ADHD Information

hello there 

so were on the same age and "a bit" the same story but not likely. Im not in a position give some advice/comment bcoz im also currently waiting for any1 u can give me advise, and also ur not asking it .

About the thing you've sed(specific and a lot^^), all i can say is just live your life to the fullest and hopefully good things will come...

I hope a said it right... Goodluck man
Let me introduce myself, I'm a 22 year old guy in the UK.

Throughout my entire life I've always known I've been different to "normal" folk. I used to think "everyone thinks this about themselves". and that I should just try to behave and immitate what normal people do. The thing is, I don't think normal people constantly, consciously watch for "what's normal" they just do it naturally with a flow.

My parents thought I was possessed with the devil LOL, because I was always in trouble, used to randomly hit people as a child for no apparent reason. Was ULTRA hyper...always in trouble at school, although not for academic reasons which I shall cover later on.

I think the moment my life COULD have been different was when I was 6-7, my parents were strongly advised by my school to take me to a child psychologist. I knew at this age these folk wanted to see me coz I was in trouble a lot. The two psychologists were left with me and they asked me to write a story, so I wrote some made up story about two friends finding treasure on a beach, named Paul and Henry (random names) they're asking "who's Paul and Henry, are they your friends?" lol, trying to really probe, I knew even at this age I'm here coz I'm in trouble, so I behaved very well. They concluded there's nothing wrong with me, and said I have a great imagination and I should just have more attention from teachers and parents yadda yadda.

Well...fooling those psychs has cost me 14 years (most of which I was at school) of not being diagnosed.

(Just deleted some pararaphs coz I drifted way off lol)

My entire time at school...and most of my working life...have been spent doing this: FOOLING MY TEACHER/EMPLOYER

In early school, I was always able to get good grades without really trying, I make no joke to you, this is the honest truth, and I don't know WHY teachers thought this was acceptable behaviour, but from age 5 to 17....I think I've completed homework about 15 times!

In high school, for the first few years, same thing, no homework, teachers just expected me to pass and some DID give me into trouble for not doing homework, but they just gave up on me, because I achieved good results. Then when I was 16...we do our GCSE's in the UK, things were getting more challenging, I actually have to revise and study now to pass....so I done the absolute minimum to get a decent pass...B's and maybe 2-3 A's.....again, this was achieved doing last minute revision, in the entire year at school...maybe the last 2-3 weeks before examinations, I'd look over stuff for the whole year and identify what needs to be done to get a decent grade.

Then A-levels...the stuff you can't fool..the level of study that you MUST revise throughout, or fail. Was I going to change after 12 years of little effort, hah certainly not. In my arrogance I continued the same old ways and paid for it dearly by FAILING most of my subjects...altho I did get an A for maths and B for English...subjects I was always good at, but I failed physics and history. I couldn't believe it, I'd never failed final exams before, only at the end of my school years, the very final exams did I fail!

Needless to say I left school ashamed. All my friends went onto university, got 4-5 A grades etc.

My school reports all say the same thing "I'd be the top student IF I ONLY APPLIED myself to the work"

I thought why the effort, I got plenty other interests to pursue in the evenings besides crappy school work.

It was only last year when talking to my mums friend in relation to my lack of ability to continue with my tasks for more than 15 mins without doing something else or getting distracted, she said "I bet you have ADD".

I'm like "I've heard of it, but I can't have it coz I can do other stuff for hours with a high level of focus and attention"

But when I came home I started researching it (as I normally do with ANYTHING that triggers my interest) and I was reading and reading and reading, for probably 4-5 hours. In that time, I cried, I laughed, and went through all sorts of emotions after knowing finally what was wrong with me, the explanation to EVERY single thing I consider odd about myself in relation to others, from my first memories as a small child to that very day as 21 year old young man trying to find his way.

I cried...because it was tragic that I wasn't diagnosed, I laughed because of all the small quirky, odd things I do, I thought I was the only person on the planet that was like that, and reading these same attributes about other people in other parts of the world was VERY strange.

For the first time in my life, I came across folk who understood what it's like to be me, who don't need me to explain why I am the way I am.

After so much research, personality quizes, check lists, essays, research papers and articles...I knew quickly I had 100% of all the common symptoms of ADHD.

And that I've had these symptoms since I was a small child, I still have the same brain as a kid, I can remember doing things at 5-6 years old and remember my frame of mind when doing them.

I hated the idea though of having a "condition" or a "disorder"....I also quickly realised that having ADHD is what I am, I wouldn't be the same without it, it was interwoven with my personality.

Sometimes I wish never had it, I could've become a model student, went to the best universities and really made my parents proud. But then, the life experience I've had, the knowledge I've gained, and the talents I've developed as a direct result of ADHD would also be compromised.

Then I realised one thing, having ADHD does not restrict you from being academically successful any more than NOT having ADHD restricts you from being creative and abstract. Both are easier for one and more difficult for the other.

So I thought, I'm going to take advantage of both, and study what I find fascinating and keeps me interested for long periods. I've had a colourful lol, 5 years after school, with some odd choices being made.

Airline Pilot>Religious Student>Clinical Psychiatry>Computer Programmer>Married and settled, any old job

I sarted pursuing the above in that order over 5 years, the next one being pursued after failure of the previous one.

I abysmally failed at all of them, half-pursued dreams that I found an excuse to ignore and reject once I actually started to get somewhere with it.

So then I was unemployed for a year...I was at home...I sat on the PC all day, put on weight, watched films, played computer games, got a quick job for about 6 weeks if I wanted to get some money together for something, then I'd quit, or get fired lol. I done that quickie-job thing about 4-5 times lol in about a year.

Until that point, the longest job I had was for 8-10 weeks, and probably coz it was so closeby (literally 2 min walk, telesales) that it was harder NOT to go lol

But that quickly lost my interests even though I was good at sales, even won a prize, but once I knew what to do and do it well...I got INTENSELY bored...and deliberately screwed it up, took late lunches, late everyday, eventually getting fired. Colleague of mine was utterly puzzled, one week I'm employee of the month, next week I'm crap and get fired.

Well that was over a year ago...done one more quickie 4-week job at the Hilton Call Centre....was quite fun doing the training for 4 weeks, but the work I survived for about 3 days lol

And then....I saw it.......an awesome job, as an intelligence analyst, I was reading the description and it suited me perfect, constantly changing environment, having to make sense of a TON of information and data, new projects all the time...and INTERESTING!

I thought sh*t, I don't have the education requirements and work experience, but I  said I'm going to apply for it anyway and write WHY I think the should take me on despite bad employment record etc. Initially I was rejected (after a 4 month wait!! Gov takes long with this kinda thing)...I'm like "should have known" but then 2 weeks later, I got another letter saying actually, they wouldn't mind interviewing me. I was like HOLY %&^& they must be makin' a mistake lol....so I phoned and confirmed and yes they wanted to interview me, so they said they'll send me an interview date within the next 4 months...I'm like wtf...why does everything take so long?!

Interview letter came...the date was set, I researched the job, the intelligence world etc. I put my SOUL AND PASSION into that interview and left them leaving no doubt that they'd be crazy not to hire me. I obviously at the time thought I shouldn't have done this and that, and was sure I probably won't get the job whist walking back to the train station.

But amazingly a lady called me a fortnight later...and said I was successful! I was like so elated and overjoyed....I seriously couldn't describe it. I rarely give all I have to give to a cause, and I did it this time, and it paid off, paid off tremendously.

Now I needed to wait another month before I could start (these government types realllly take long it's irritating)

So I started the job and have been there for a year now...and is about 80% of what I expected, which is good!

I never thought I'd be able to hold a job for a year, but I have, and it's because I know who I am.......finally.

So I'm continuing this job for another year, then I'm going to University...(better now than never)....and planning to study Biomolecular Engineering with Genetics (life sciences is a hobby of mine among many other things, but this one is consistent).

So I havn't taken medications or attempted to "fix" my ADHD....don't get me wrong I am still fully adhd....in every way the same as before, it's just I recognize it everytime now...(even now, I know I'm blabbing on and hyperfocussing on this post) and I can control it to an extent, I can make small talk, even though I need to concentrate, I don't talk randomly about things as much, but still do....although I HAVE stopped this with strangers lol

But yes...I'm happier now SIMPLY knowing that I have it. That alone gives me comfort and direction. I still find it hard to get friends, or not be strange...lol, but I think you know, if people don't want to get involved with you, screwem, their loss. I've never been more confident and happy, especially after going through about 3-4 months of depression (not clinical) after I lost the girl I wanted to marry before starting this job.

I now live life happily, and discovered one important thing, to do all that I want to do, I shouldn't just focus on one thing, but do several things, I've always wanted to be superfit, play guitar, play all the new computer games, read awesome books....so I now do all of these in one day...and continue with them....rather than playing guitar for 5 hours one day....then not using it for a month.

Anyway I've said enough for one post...even if no one replies it was good getting it all out in text hehe.

Regards

Hammy07,

I was diagnosed ADD about 10 years ago.  I will be 44 on Saturday.  I, too, was happy to learn that there are others who "act" the same way I do.  It kind of makes the inappropriately interrupted conversations with friends and strangers seem "okay".  Hey, I can't help that, it's my ADD.  But it isn't ok.  This Suburban PTO mom has to watch what she says and how she says it and to whom she says it.  I do take meds for mine.  Thank God above for His blessings of scientists and doctors who are concerned about these disorders.

It seems as if you are in a pretty good place.  You are focused on something that interests you and you have a plan for the future.  If you ask me, my future is what's on my calendar for tomorrow and next week.  I rarely go any farther than that with my dreams.  I have begun and ceased so many "projects" that my failure rate is pretty high.  But I suppose someone said it better than I..."It is better to have tried and lost than to have never tried at all".

Best of luck!