12 yr old gifted ADHD girl--long | ADHD Information

Boy, can I relate to your situation. I have a highly gifted ADHD 14YO son.
All through K-6 standardized test scores were in the high 90s. He could
rely on listening in class and his native intelligence to get good grades.
He just entered high school and I'm seeing a C- in math, his best
subject. He doesn't know how to study, to prioritize, to organize, to take
notes and sit through 50 minute classes. It is a hugh adjustment for him.
And his distraction is X-Box 360 Live. He is on Focalin, and it helps him,
but not enough to cope with the all the changes and increased demands
and competition. I think it will take more than meds from here on out.
He needs to learn how to compensate and figure out what works for him
in terms of getting his work done. Perhaps it is the same with your
daughter. If she is motivated to go to college, she will have to figure out
how to manage her studying on her own. She will have to be self-
motivated to get good grades. Meds alone can't do it, nor will all the
advice in the world from her parents. She will have to mature and it
might not be on your timeline. Believe me, I know how tough it is to
watch our kids make mistakes, but that's how they learn. All the
prodding in the world is of little value.

Good luck. Hang in there.
My 12 yo was dx with ADHD at the age of 8. We tried many of the stimulants (Ritalin in short and long acting, Adderal, Stratera) and had no real success with any of them. We stopped all drugs and with maturity, her hyperactivity calmed down. We did have her on Lexapro for 2 years for depression. With the stimulants, we were mainly trying to treat her hyperactive behavior as she NEVER had any academic problems--always straight A with no effort. She was grade accelerated 3rd to 4th. Her psych doc suggested skipping 7th to 8th but we declined as she will already be entering high school as a 13 yr old and has a nice social group in the current class. During 7th grade, she did not study or do any homework at home--all done in school during recess or class--and had straight A's.

Fast forward to present. Her social life has developed and she now likes boys. She spends a lot of time on the computer, on IM and the cell phone. Much time is spent on planning social activities. School has been in progress for 3 weeks now and she has brought home a C in Social Studies and a C in Math. She tells me she does not want to do AP math in HS because it is too hard and she is not good at math. (Straight A's her entire life)

Her dad and I have reinforced to her that school is a priority. We also tell her if she keeps her grades up, there is not much we would Not allow her to do socially ( within reason based on her age ) We have also told her that if the grades remain low and she does not try her best, her social life will come to a screeching halt!

I know her new found social life is distracting her. I also know the math is more challenging this year. I feel I am being hard on her but my worry is that after last year, her academic work ethic has gone to zero. It has always come so easy to her and she doesn't like to work hard.

I am wondering about starting a low dose med--perhaps Metadate CD--to see if she can have better concentration in school. Her grades are mostly 100's except these recent C's. This year could be a real challenge for her due to many new stimuli in her life from the social realm. My first inclination has been to nip these lower grades in the bud and crack down on her but I don't want to overlook the fact that the kid has ADHD which could be playing a role in all this.

Any thoughts from other parents of this age group?
I have found my daughter (also age 13) is very helpful in helping we decide how to proceed at this point. How does she feel? Is she very distracted? Can you tell? I can tell when my daughter is having distraction concerns. So I try to get out of her how she feels and duirng what classes....etc., etc. Also when is the last time she saw her doctor?

My oldest gets good grades but works at it. We were starting the year off without meds for an annual unmedicated baseline. She started losing her homework and not paying attention to the long winded instruction. This is typical for her and is only the start. If allowed to continue, her grades get worse and worse, as does her self esteem. With the meds, she easily keeps up and excells. Her doc and I have reinforced that the meds are like glasses and help her brain focus, but that all of the work comes from her.

It may be that your daughter has just hit the time in school where her intelligence no longer fully compensates for her ADHD. If she goes on meds, she may be able to better compete and learn the organizational skills that she will need for a successful future. Maybe these poor grades will help her realize the importance of good study and organization skills. She may not admit any of this, my youngest one will never admit that anything bothers her, when in fact, she is really sensitive and bothered by even little things.

Diane, We saw her pychiatrist in June 07. Although she is med free, we check in with him twice a year and as needed, mainly worried about her depression.

Vickie, I think your right--she may not be able to manage as well now since her life has become more complex, not to mention puberty.

I checked her online grades just now and see an "F" on an English assignment. This is a child who took her ACT's in February and scored a 75th percentile grade in LA! Something's cooking here!

Thanks
jacksgirl39344.4422916667yup, I agree. My daughter was on a different med for the summer, a tricyclic antideressant, worked great for everything, including her ADHD symptoms, but now that school has started it's not cutting it...............I love your name omgiamgoingnuts--in fact, it is my life in a nutshell!

My daughter not only has an F in math but an F in English (as of yesterday) and a C in Social Studies.

We had a good talk last night. She does not want to do any meds. She thinks she is just off to a bad start this year (understatement but OK!) We told her we love her and that's why we care so much. We told her she has been given a gift (IQ 148) and that she needs to use it the best way she can--not so she gets to go out with friends but to have a good, successful life and to be happy. We talked about developing a good academic work ethic now, while she is young so she gets in the habit of working hard and working up to her potential.

I think we got through to her, she cried, she agreed to try harder and to try her best. She understands the consequences of not bringing the grades up.

We shall see! I told her that meds may be needed at some point in the future but right now we can hold off.

One hour later she asked if she could go to a party this weekend---SIGH! I told her we need to wait for a few more tests before she parties!

I hope I can survive the next 6 years without needing meds myself!

[QUOTE=jacksgirl]My 12 yo was dx with ADHD at the age of 8. We tried many of the stimulants (Ritalin in short and long acting, Adderal, Stratera) and had no real success with any of them. We stopped all drugs and with maturity, her hyperactivity calmed down. We did have her on Lexapro for 2 years for depression. With the stimulants, we were mainly trying to treat her hyperactive behavior as she NEVER had any academic problems--always straight A with no effort. She was grade accelerated 3rd to 4th. Her psych doc suggested skipping 7th to 8th but we declined as she will already be entering high school as a 13 yr old and has a nice social group in the current class. During 7th grade, she did not study or do any homework at home--all done in school during recess or class--and had straight A's.

Fast forward to present. Her social life has developed and she now likes boys. She spends a lot of time on the computer, on IM and the cell phone. Much time is spent on planning social activities. School has been in progress for 3 weeks now and she has brought home a C in Social Studies and a C in Math. She tells me she does not want to do AP math in HS because it is too hard and she is not good at math. (Straight A's her entire life)

Her dad and I have reinforced to her that school is a priority. We also tell her if she keeps her grades up, there is not much we would Not allow her to do socially ( within reason based on her age ) We have also told her that if the grades remain low and she does not try her best, her social life will come to a screeching halt!

I know her new found social life is distracting her. I also know the math is more challenging this year. I feel I am being hard on her but my worry is that after last year, her academic work ethic has gone to zero. It has always come so easy to her and she doesn't like to work hard.

I am wondering about starting a low dose med--perhaps Metadate CD--to see if she can have better concentration in school. Her grades are mostly 100's except these recent C's. This year could be a real challenge for her due to many new stimuli in her life from the social realm. My first inclination has been to nip these lower grades in the bud and crack down on her but I don't want to overlook the fact that the kid has ADHD which could be playing a role in all this.

Any thoughts from other parents of this age group?
[/QUOTE]

I would give her a chance to pull this grade up before not letting her do social activities. let her know that if the grade doesn't come up that NOT doing the math isn't an option; but social activities will be the consequence. however with that said, i have a friend who's dd is in aclerated math and she also wants to quit it because she said its too hard. mayb a tutor might help. she might really need help this year. nothing wrong in her needing help. ask her and see what she thinks.