An idea that may be of some mild interest.
When all of my children started Jr High, I took them aside and told them that people were going to offer them drugs and try to get them to things that they would not feel comfortable doing and they would have to deal with the pressure.
I explained them that I had been exposed to all of this (went to a couple of very rough Jr High schools). I told them stories of the people I knew (sometimes friends)who were killed or died. I carefully explained that I could not sit on their shoulders like a parrot and tell them "don't do this" or "you can do that". I discussed the person on the spot being the one who had to make the decisions then and there and how lonely that could be. I also explained that whatever their decisions were they were responsible for the consequences. I told them that I had made my decisions and now it was their turn. We had some general discussions after that but I never lectured them on the subject.
I am sure that the experimented a little but as far as I know they never had a drug, alcohol, or delinquency problem. I remember how tough it was for me in Jr High and I remain very proud of them.
This may or may not be of use. At least hope it generates some thinking.
Dizfriz
Did you tell her she was seen? What did she say?
I really dont know how much you can "Stop" her, but you certainly can keep educating her. Teens will be teens, and teens will experiment. Try to keep the communication as open as possible. Frequently remind her of the effects of smoking and how you feel about it. Also have frequesnt discussions about underage drinking and alcohol and drug use. Try not to lecture. I know it's hard, but try not to be accusatory or she'll get defensive. There are several webiste (Phillip Morris being one of them) and some of the bigger insurance companies that have sections on how to talk to your child about smoking.
I think it's important for them to always know how you feel about smoking and drinking and why. It may not stop the experimenting, but she'll at least think about it. Good luck, the teen years are difficult. My daughter is only 13 and no where near this point.....yet, but I know I wasnt a very good teenager .
Hang in there.................
My daughter is 16 and currently a junior in high school with ADHD. Since the medication (Ritalin) she has had A - B+ averages. Lately, i am concerned that she is hanging with the "wrong crowd" i received a call from my neighbors this morning saying that they say my daughter at the beach with 2 boys and her 1 girl friend smoking a cigarette and drinking. When i approached her about it she said "mom i don't do any of that don't you trust me?" I said yes but i am beginning to wonder because my husband did say to me last night that she smelled like a cigarette. i am unsure about how to handle this situation...any advice would be appreciated