Does my son has ADHD | ADHD Information
I have a son, who is 4 and half years old and I have a little bit concern of his behavior at pre-school too. My son has been in daycare since he was 11 month old. He was acting fine (based on the teacher's feedback) until he turned to 4 years old, the time when he moved to pre-school class. One of his leader teacher started to complain that my son is not good at following the instructions in the group. However the other two teachers think he was getting much better comparing the first two months when he was in this class. Because of the concerns from school, we took my son for a both development and speech test three times within 6 months and in different testing center. He passed all the tests and the evaluators said that he had a good eye contacts and a good focus during the the first half part of the test. However they all did suggest that my son needs to have a speech therapy one hour per week. At home we started to give him more structures and more routines. We have been doing this for three months now, my son is getting much better at home even our friends can notice his behavior improvement every time when they come to our house. We also changed his school to a christain school for a more loving study environment. He's been in new school for two weeks now. Yesterday the teacher came to me and talked about his behavior in class. Basically there are three concerns from teacher: 1. Can not sit still and frequently getting up and walking away in the middle of group activity. 2. Put everything into his mouth, sometimes a rock and sometimes a plastic etc. 3. Can not walk a line with his group; Always off the line and does his own thing. The teacher also says acdemically he is doing fine. He is very social and very smart, but just not ready in a group structure. Today I spent a half day with my son in the class and he seems to behavior himself when he alerts I am in the class. I did not see him to put something into his mouth and most time he was with his group. He was walking in a line with his group during a outside play. I was so confused about his different behaviors between school and home. I am not sure if my son has ADHD or not. He can focus if he is really into it. For example he likes to read new books and he can spend at least half hour there by himself. At the previous school, one of teacher said that he can sit still sometimes better than girls if the topic is in his zoon.
4 is a funny age. We had a VERY hard time with my daughter (no ADHD diagnosis) at 4. She for the first time had school issues, she was TERRIBLE at home, tantrums and arguing. We did like you, and got strict with structure and consistent discipline. She is now 5 1/2 and a much different child. Believe me she has her moments (daily), but she is starting off to a GREAT school year and it is now full day Kindergarten, she's doing very well at home. Some fo school may be boredom, Some kids struggle with circle time. IMO, they need to be helped to learn how to sit for group instruction though. For my daughter we asked to let her sit in a corner chair, it's a wooden chair that sits flat on the floor and has two sides (like in a corner), and she sat directly across from the teacher. It kpet her posture right (to avoid fatigue) and less fidgeting. By the end of the year she stopped using it. Some kids had the class aide sit behind them to redirect them if they got too antsy. If they got too disruptive, she would take them in the hall for a quick walk, then bring them back to the circle.
Hang in there, I agree with NoTellin he is young. Not saying no ADHD, but is very reasonable to "watch and wait". All the behavior modifications poeple use for children with ADHD work even better on children that dont have it, so keep educating yourself.
Christian schools are more adamant about behavior. If you are considering this route for your child, do your homework very carefully.
The behaviors that you describe are typical for ADHD, but it is hard to diagnose ADHD at such a young age. You might want to take a wait and see approach. My son's behavior is always better when I am in class observing. Can you watch your son from outside the play yard so that he is not aware of your presense? Most ADHD kids can focus when they are really into something, and this fools people. Some ADHD kids even have what is called "hyperfocus" which is an intense focus when interested. But is this about focusing on a variety of learning topics in a classroom setting, not about just focusing on what interests us. Home is less structured with less demands. IMHO, you will see more ADHD behaviors in school because of the structured setting and the demands == both academic and behavioral.
At 4 she is too young to be diagnosed accurately. I would wait until; after she starts school and see what happens then. There is such a wide range of "normal" at 4 that it would be almost impossible to tell.My son was acurately diagnosed a month shy of his 5th birthday by a pediatric neurologist.
My only regret is not medicating him earlier. He was labeled and cruely treated by both teachers and children.
BETHANN39346.4287615741Hello all,From the day my son Matthew was born nine years ago, i knew being his mother was going to be a challenge. He was so different from his sister...but, i thought maybe it was just the difference between boys and girls at first. My daughter who was a dream baby, has always been a bright, happy child but when Matthew was born the first thing i noticed was that he never really liked to be held..where most babies aren't happy unless they are being held. Even when i nursed him...he would eat and then push me away. As a toddler he was alright but, as he got older i noticed that he would get frustrated with himself. He would bring out a lot of different toys to play with then, get angry because he didn't know what to do first. I would try and read books to him and he'd push them away or get up and leave. He didn't like to watch t.v or movies either. He just couldn't sit still long enough. He didn't play well with other children...he was really bossy with them. He would say.."we are going to play this"...and "you do this"...and "you say this to me"...etc.
It was when he started school that i began to worry that maybe Matthew had a problem. I would get home alot of bad comments from his teachers like "Matthew won't pay attention in school"..or "Matthew disrupts the class" etc. It was always a bad comment coming from his teachers and never a positive one. Homework was a nightmare. It always ended in a crying, whining, yelling fit.
Two years ago we moved and my kids switched schools. I told Matthew's teacher of his background and what the other school had been telling me. His teacher was a strict teacher but, a good one. I knew by this time that my son did have some problem but, i didn't know what it was. I got a call one day from his new school and they asked me to come in and talk to them. Although i already knew kind of, i was very upset to hear them tell me that they believed Matthew had A.D.H.D. Finally, at least i knew why Matthew was struggling... but, i came home and had a good cry. At first i wondered, was it something i had done...although i knew it wasn't.
I took Matthew to a good doctor and after a few appointments and seeing feedback from home and school, he comfirmed that Matthew did have A.D.H.D. He started Matthew on a low dose medication but, it didn't do much for him. He wanted Matthew to gain weight before he raised the medication because my son is quite skinny. Once my son did finally gain a bit of weight he started him on a higher dose and things have been a little better but, i do notice that when he is on his meds. he doesn't eat well. They do seem to help him in school though. It's a double edge sword...i worry about his weight...but, his grades too.
Matthew is a smart child but, really struggles in school. He can't read, write or spell very well. He does quite well in Math though. Homework is still a nightmare but, it eventually gets done...usually. Matthew is friendly and loving but, will argue you into the ground about anything. He is also a big time whiner. He asks you a question and when you start to answer he's already asked you three more questions. I love him to death but, he can be very hard on the nerves. He is a collector too...every time i do the laundry i find bottle caps, nails, sticks..whatever in his pockets. He plays a lot better with other kids now although, still likes to be in charge.
Anyways, i would enjoy talking with other parents that share my experiences, challenges...and frustrations.
Matt'smom
hi rickandkathy,
I loved reading in your post how your son collects all sorts of things and you find them in his pant pockets!
My son is 10 and does the exact same thing. Sometimes I don't find the screws, eraser caps, rocks, ends of pencils, etc, until AFTER the wash is done!
The other funny thing is when I read your post, my son was sitting next to me waiting to get on line, and read it too. He mentioned how your son was just like him, enjoy your son!
I am glad you found this site, there are lots of parents with children just like yours here. It is a wonderful place!!
Some thoughts -- he may be developmentally a little bit behind in one area and get bored or frustrated. He may have problems with language comprehension, so he isn't listening to directions. Talk to his speech therapist about whether his comprehension in appropriate for his age. This can make a big difference in behavior. Ask her if he can focus during the speech therapy session. A half hour is a long time to concentrate on one thing when you are four. The preschool may be expecting too much of the kids. I mean, it's normal to wander a bit when you're 4, and not all kids are ready for group activities. How long do these activities last? Do they go outside a lot or are they expected to sit for long periods? Some "normal" kids can't do that, either (especially boys).
When looking at daycare centers, I found that a few had completely inappropriate ideas of what small children can handle -- too much focus on curriculum and not enough on free play and outside time. There is a lot of research on this subject that falls on the side of free play. They will have curriculum out the wazoo once they start school. The worst offender was a Christian daycare/preschool that I checked out. They had very unrealistic expectations (i.e. "strict"), and I knew immediately that my son would fail miserably in that environment. My child did end up at another Christian daycare, but one that was structured chaos with normal expectations of young children. He did very well there.
Go with your gut. If he does fine at home, a new preschool may be in order. IMHO, it shouldn't be a big problem for teachers of 4-year-olds if one of the kids can't sit still during circle time but is well-behaved the rest of the time. If he isn't unruly or acting out, I would say that they are being completely unrealistic.
I also just noticed that you said that his preschool is a "study environment." If that is true, it is most certainly developmentally inappropriate.
Joy
[QUOTE=BETHANN]
hi rickandkathy,
I loved reading in your post how your son collects all sorts of things and you find them in his pant pockets!
My son is 10 and does the exact same thing. Sometimes I don't find the screws, eraser caps, rocks, ends of pencils, etc, until AFTER the wash is done!
The other funny thing is when I read your post, my son was sitting next to me waiting to get on line, and read it too. He mentioned how your son was just like him, enjoy your son!
I am glad you found this site, there are lots of parents with children just like yours here. It is a wonderful place!!
Hi Bethann,
Yes this is a wonderful place. I have been sick so i haven't been able to be on here as much as i would like to be. I see i have alot of reading to do. It is very stressful to have a child with A.D.H.D for sure but, it is great to have a place like this to hang out at and talk to other parents who are going through the same things. I'm glad you enjoyed reading my post....and i'm glad i'm not the only one finding weird objects at the bottom of my wash machine...lol.
Matt'smom