Gosh, I hope in your three days of training that they also pointed out that not all men who enjoy spending time with kids and helping to make a positive difference in their lives aren't predators! It's one thing to be aware and take precautions, another to be paranoid!
Jillette, I'm with you you can never be too careful in this day and age. I wouldn't have sent the kids to the creche they went to if there'd been men around, and also we have flats on our property and I don't want them going to single men. I would say a big thing is communication with your kids though. They have to know that they are accepted and can talk to you as their parents.
What you wrote fits right into what happened to a member of my family back in the 70's. The preditor was a middle school guidance counselor. The child was 12 years old with a poor father figure, divorce going on, and depression setting in. From that experience I have said to my wife that I will not allow our boy to be alone with anyone, even a trusted friend. As he gets older, I'm sure this will be difficult as he spends more time at other kid's homes (even older kids can become preditors).john d i do understand youre point of view . positive role models are a great influence on usand we do need them.
jillette , my heart goes out to you and your knowledge that you aRE ARE TRYING TO SHARE.
just a moment with the wrong person and a life time of trust can be shattered forever. its not i statistical matter at all.
sexual impulses are even stronger than heroine addiction and men and women alike usually dont just stop at one incedent. to be honest i was molested as a 10 year old by a local perv. not anally but fondled . this had a severe impact on my self esteem growing up but i got over it.
once the nieborhood kids started comparing frustrations a sibling went and shoot him . another life ruined. ive not gone through training or anything like that.
i do however understand maladaptive response.
i for one hope you go ahead and tell us more about what youve learned as adhd kids are attention seeking and more volunerable . yes i validate your concern and warning to adhd parents thank you very much for shareing. are there any books, sites, or articles you would like to share.
p.s. i find with my maladaptive residents that thier body language speaks louder than thier lies. and as soon as i become judgmental they even manipulate thier body language too,so getting more info from them is near impossible.
as a young man i could only consider heterosexual persona. but as i grew up i became aware of the sexuallity of others. ive never been the hot guy .but that doesnt matter . as i entered adulthood i became aware of the strange people as i considered them . ready to do anything with anybody regardless of love.
then i started seeing people in my nieghborhood that would hekle and harrass women. realizing that these men were preditors i bagan to befriend them as i can be a devious manipulitve fellow and warting them off in a very persuasive way, but that's a different story!
the real problem used to be at strip clubs because thats where the pervs could meet and develope a rapore with eachother and sometimes become pairs feeding eachothers desires until they talk themselves into acting on thier impulses.
but now thats changed alot due to internet connectivity .finding local groups is just as easy as checking email.
but thats the typical horror .im understadNING YOU TO SAY THAT ITS MUCH CLOSER dang capps thing, than strangers . its also relatives and staff with opprotunity . and to keep an eye out for it so if it does happen it can be recognized and stopped?
i for one believe that sex is for those whom fall in love.
anything else can hurt our hearts for a very long time.
that very long time is why i never fool around on my wife . it would hurt her and i would feel that guilt all the rest of my days .
but those preditors dont have that type of conciousness. love is only a faccade to them like a heart shaped box of chocolates and nothing more . it means nothing to them and they devoure whats inside without regard, and move on to next time like a fix they cant satisfy.
so jillette i thank you agian.
dont let anybody keep you from saying what you feel like needs to be said, youre great.
ommas39348.2505787037Not all men or women are evil it is just something to be aware of listen to your children if they say someone gives them the hee bee jee bees listen. My husband enjoys outings with our child and he is perfectly fine I was only trying to educate. [QUOTE=John D]
Gosh, I hope in your three days of training that they also pointed out that not all men who enjoy spending time with kids and helping to make a positive difference in their lives aren't predators! It's one thing to be aware and take precautions, another to be paranoid!
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I think classes like this can sometimes make people paranoid. If most people would use plain common sense some things wouldn't happen.
I just finished a 3 day training on Sex Abuse for my job and what I learned is very scary you have to worry about the preditor's not just the ones listed but the ones you do not know about. Most crimes occur with people or family you know and if someone is spending lots of time with your child and you watch closely for depression and how they act around that person or doing inappropriate things.When my husband went through training to become a leader in our cub scout pack this was one of the things that they went over. They also were very straightforward about childless men (or women) being involved in the pack. It's a huge red flag- it doesn't mean that they are bad, but these people should recognize that they are going to be veiwed with a certain level of caution. The trainers said if there were people without children of their own involved in the pack to be sure to NEVER leave them alone with a child (there is a liability issue there).
And thanks for the reminder- a little caution never hurt anyone.