Any feedback from teachers? How is he around his friends?
I just wonder if he is doing it for attention? I don't want to ignore it if is really bad. I would ask his teachers if they notice anything and about his self esteem in class. Any struggles staying on task with his classmates.
keep us posted!!
I doubt that he is playing you. I would begin to use lavish praise on a daily basis to re-enforce good behavior. I would start a regular daily schedule of at least thirty minute one on one with each parent. This means, getting down on the floor with him, playing whatever he wants play, or sports, whatever he is into. Tell him daily that he is very special to you. Make consequences immediate and light.My 4 1/2 year old son was diagnosed with ADHD about a year ago. After seeing a few doctors (including a psychiatrist and psychologist), we tried Adderall. It seemed to improve his behavior at first, but by the end (3 months), he was out of control. We stopped it immediately. His behavior has improved significantly. He still has focus problems but behavior has improved. I know he will have problems in school next year but will cross that bridge when we have to. I have also started a few months ago Focus vitamins. They seem to really help.
However, within the last few months we have noticed a change in his mood. He is very sensitive to his "bad behavior" and calls himself a "bad boy" when he gets in trouble. We immediately tell him that he's not bad but that he has bad behavior or doesn't make good choices. Now he is hitting himself on the head with his hands or trying to knock his head on the door/wall. He also hits himself on the legs or grips his stomach with his fingernails. We've told him repeatedly not to hurt himself and asked if it made him feel better, he said no. It really breaks my heart when he does it. My husband thinks he might be playing us a little. Sometimes I think he has but when he tries to hurt himself I think he really is troubled. We went to a play therapist for a few times a month ago but he seemed to be fine with her. It was too expensive so I haven't gone back. He otherwise seems happy at times and runs around, etc. But whenever he is scolded, etc. he says he's bad..... We also put him in beg. basketball class on Sat. He went the first time okay but then said he wanted to leave because he wasn't very good. It's been rough trying to keep him there the last few times. Anyone have any ideas? Does anyone know of any good books on self-esteem?
If you suspect that he's hitting himself as a way to get attention try ignoring it completely for a couple weeks- if he starts doing it when you walk into the room just pretend that you don't notice and go about your business. I am, of course, assuming that he's not actually hurting himself to the point of needing treatment.
Kids this age do really well with positive reinforcement- sticker charts or the marble system for rewarding good behavior. Also, you might want to check out the book 123 Magic- it's a real sanity saver.
I wouldn't worry about playing basketball either- many kids are not ready for sports until they are older and better able to engage in cooperative play. If he needs an outlet for the energy maybe you could consider something like gymnastics where the focus is more individual and the kids are not expected to keep up with one another.
IMO if he's hitting himself it's out of frustration. It is a sensory seeking behavior. Generally out of frustration.When is he doing it? Under what circumstances.
I doubt he is hitting himself hard enough to hurt himself, generally speaking children who do this, like head banging do not do cause themselves pain.
Read up a bit on sensory seeking behaviors (SPD) and get The Out of Sync Child by Carol Kranowitz from the library. Not saying he has SPD, but gives GREAT advice on ways to help sensory seekers. My youngest does not have SPD (or ADHD that I know of) but does a lot of "sensory stuff". she was a head banger as an infant/toddler and other things as well, he book gave me great advice.
I will talk with his teachers. They haven't said anything. Since he's only in school a few days a week, he's at a babysitter the rest of the week. She has mentioned that he hits himself. I do think the hitting of his head might be an attention getter. It looked like he just started to hit himself on the head when I walked into his room, like he was waiting until I came in. My husband and I have been trying to give him a lot of praise, but it doesn't seem to work. I think he is probably not getting enough sleep. He used to fall asleep on the way home and take a little nap. Now he doesn't do that as often. I need to make sure he goes to bed earlier also.
He does have problems with other kids. I'm not sure if they pick on him specifically or he's just another one of the kids they pick on. He does mention the kids not being his friend or hitting him. He's very sensitive when it comes to friends. He really strives to find friends and makes comments about either not finding one or that they didn't want to be his friend.
He's also been acting up again. He has started hitting me and the babysitter when he doesn't get his way. We had a huge problem with him hitting adults when he was angry when he was 3. But within the last 6 months it got a lot better. He stopped doing it. Now he started again.
Hi there -- my DS (age 8) also has ADHD and depression. What we did was went to a counselor for DS. She was able to tell us what his "self-hating" words and behaviors were about and to monitor for anything that could have been suicidality. (It wasn't, he's fine.)
He's not headbanging. He just hits his head with hand. I don't think it's exactly the same.
Thanks for all of your input. I really appeciate it. I think he is a little better. I did check out 123 magic and I think I can really use some of it. I will look into the other books too.
He's a sensitive, but I think he's getting better.
Headbanging, as it's called, can be an autistic trait. With adhd, he's automatically what they call "on the autistic spectrum." No way is he doing it for your or your hubby's benefit.