When to medicate | ADHD Information

Hi everyone.  I am new to this site.  There is so much to learn on these boards...they really help.  My son was diagnosed last spring with ADHD and we opted not to medicate.   Lately though his seems to be getting worse.  He is driving me crazy - always begging for what he cant have, in my face, physically overactive and I just don't have the patience.  I have told him several times that he is a pest and that he drives me crazy.  I love my son so much and feel horrible when I get to that point.  My question is ..how do you know when to start medicating your child?  If it were up to me I would medicate him now.  Also  - my husband refuses to consider medication so I am sort of stuck here.  My husband isn't with him as much as I am and will only agree to medicate if school is a problem.  It is only the 3rd week of school and he has had some difficulty - but managing okay so far (one phone call from teacher).  I am at my wits end and dont enjoy being with my son - but my husband blames the problem on me not having enough patience.  Do I just have to suffer and hate my child?  Or should I go on drugs to block out all the frustration.  My husband doesn't realize how bad this is for my son - who should be loved unconditionally but right now I can't love him like i should.  Any helpful ideas?education is your best tool. Try to show your husband how successful children can be that are being treated by medications. Have him sit with the docotr and discuss his concerns. Remind him using meds is not a permanent decision. If you start and are unhappy, you STOP that simple. I dont think anyone is thrilled about giving their children medication for anything, this is a hard decision. No one can make it for you, and there's no definitive line saying ok now you should medicate. Have you tried any of the alternative methods? A lot of people try that first and many have success that way and never medicate. Diane V39348.6564351852

Hi Diane.  Thank you for your post.  My husband did agree to meet with the doctor - after a few months of school have passed.  We found a meeting to attend that our doctor is actually speaking at - his lecture is on medication.  Perfect timing.  I also found a parenting class for parents of ADHD children which I so look forward to.  Sometimes I just don't have the energy or patience -so maybe the class will give me more ideas to help me.  I will also research the various medications to show him not all have disastrous side effects.  He may be slow to come around ...but I will try!

Thanks again!

Brigid

Keep in mind that treatment for ADHD is not just give a med and forget it. Explain to your husband that the med is to augment the other parts of the treatment plan. Treatment should include a good behavior plan (the parenting classes should help with this), meds if needed, social skills coaching if needed, an IEP or 504 in school to help with difficult areas, and other things as needed. One reason docs like to get a med on board before starting a behavior plan (for moderate to severe ADHD) is that the plan works better when the child can reflect on consequences and rewards and can better control the impulsivity that comes with ADHD.

You might recognize ADHD traits in relatives and note how these traits have made thier lives more difficult, and whether your husband wishes your son to face similar difficulties because of ADHD. If your son had vision problems, would he be expected to find ways to work with it? or would he be fitted with glasses to help his eyes focus on the world? The meds are like glasses for the brain.

It can be tough getting both parents on the same page and you seem to be working at educating your husband seem to be on a good path to getting enough information to make the best decisions for your son and your family situation.

Thank you Vickie.  Yes - a multi-faceted approach is what is needed.  Though at times I wish there was a quick fix!!

Brigid