Cleaning room | ADHD Information

Does your ADHD child have a very hard time cleaning his room?  What about keeping it clean?  My son is in his room now just crying and crying.  He seems like he just can not do it?  What do I do?  Do I go in and clean for him?  Is this even ADHD related?  He was just diagnosed last Friday but has always had a problem keeping clean/clean his room. 

[QUOTE=Mother2Austin]Does your ADHD child have a very hard time cleaning his room?  What about keeping it clean?  My son is in his room now just crying and crying.  He seems like he just can not do it?  What do I do?  Do I go in and clean for him?  Is this even ADHD related?  He was just diagnosed last Friday but has always had a problem keeping clean/clean his room.  [/QUOTE]

my daughter had adhd, i tend to make a game out of tiding her room who can put certin thing's in the the toy box and rewards how long it take's us.

Well, I guess you should decide if it's worth the battle to you. Maybe you should just pull the door shut and let him deal with it when he can no longer stand the mess. Not being able to find the favorite toy is a strong incentive and making him responsible for the mess will teach him independence.

Hi,

Just a couple of thoughts. ADHD kids have a very tough time with concepts like "clean your room." That's too broad of a request.  If he is old enough to read, simplifiy the directions by writing down the sequence of how to clean the room. And don't expect perfection, just a reasonable attempt. Also, another good tip is to take a picture(s) of the room the way you wish it to look.  Have that picture hanging in his room and say this is the way it should look.  This gives them the idea of what clean looks like.

 

Well it took 3 hours to get him to cooperate.  I do break it down into sections for him.  I ask him first to get all linens and clothes on the floor and make a pile outside his door.  Then pick up all BIG toys and then all small toys.  He just seems so overwhelmed when it comes to his room.  He makes a huge mess everytime he plays.  I finally went in a helped him.  He seemed more receptive when I did this.    We finally got it done and I really appreciate the advice of taking a picture of how his room is suppose to look.  DONE.  Thanks so much.  My son is on a reward system and recieves a reward for cleaning his room. He has been shown what is expected and it is on a checklist. Sometimes this helps. When he is on his meds it goes MUCH easier!I give DD a time limit, for instance, she has until Friday to clean her room. On Saturday morning I will go in with a trash bag and everything on the floor is mine and has to be earned back. This has worked well with both of my kids, oldest does not have ADHD. I have tried step by step, cards with instructions etc, but so far the trash bag works best for us. I have been trying to introduce chores to my child who can care less even when money like an allowance is offered, as for the bedroom again same deal.  I usually leave it but then when I attack it it takes a few hours to clean.  I take privilages away but still she does not seem to care.  I tell her she does not want a messy discusting house in the future because then you will have bugs.
also - don't have so many "toys". I found that when my kids had too much stuff they didn't care about it - taking care of them, putting them away, etc...so I put all the toys in 2 piles - one for son, one for daughter. Anything that was broken, missing pieces or had been destroyed by any method by them ( written on, bitten, slammed to the ground) had to be thrown away by them! Next they were able to take 10 toys each, the rest was either donated (out grew) or stored for rotation.

When they earn a new toy they must choose which one gets stored so the new toy can be theirs.  Also, this has worked really well in not getting "can I get this, can I get that?" all the time. Oh, my sweet sanity

Since that - several months ago - not one toy has been damaged and most of the time it is put away. There is a box of legos and crayons that they share and that can make a mess but everything else is good.

BTW: my son who is apparently ADHDand has no problem keeping room clean - and he is 7. My dd is 5 no dx and she is a slob. Don't know how old your son is but age could be a factor. Also, my brother and I both with no dx  and I was neat and he wasn't. Sometimes it is just personalities.

I am also using the rule "anything left on the ground at end of playtime will be thrown away - for good" I am giving them warnings now but it had really worked. Haven't had to throw a toy away.

This is how I do it (yes, poor organization skills are a hallmark ADHD problem). Get lots of containers or drawers, and label them. The two of you decide how to organize the room and you do it together. Then every night he picks up his room before he goes to bed. There is a small basket somewhere in the general living space area. This is where parents dump items left in the general space area. When the box is full, he brings it too his room and puts the items away.

Also, he must put his backpack in his "cubby" in his room automatically when he gets home.

And when I fold the laundry, I call him to bring the folded clothes to his room an put them away.

My son's room looks like a garbage can turned over. 

He's 13 now and I have never figured out what to do.  I close the door when people come over.  We have done all of the above. 

I have tried to break it down in steps for him but he just does what he wants to when he wants to.  We are getting a puppy and he knows that if he doesn't clean the room the puppy can't go in.

He has put off cleaning his room all week.  Last Sunday he said he'd clean it.  He did nothing. The psychiatrist says he does what he wants when he wants and he has to be motivated.

All my son talks about is this dog so he is motivated. Yest. he started his room.  I gave him positive feedback and was excited but made the mistake of pointing out other areas of filth.  The definance started.  So, he knows no clean room, no puppy in the room.

I have the added problem of a child that has a problem with taking instruction so it doesn't matter how many organizers I buy, or how many rewards, etc. etc. if he doesn't want to do it, he won't.

Good luck.

 

Great ideas!  I really like the trash bag one   MY job today is to go through his toys and narrow down what he has.  He has so many little "happy meal" toys...JUNK!  It needs to go.  I think part of the problem is that not everything has a "home".  I told him today on the way to school that we had to get organized and stay that way.  He asked me what organized meant   He seems to be on board so I will keep you all posted. 

 

Thanks!

We have a combination to a lot of these in place at our house.  we have 5 kids, so the same rules are in place for all kids, only 2 have ADHD.  We have  a cetain day the day needs to be cleaned by, every week it is the same day for the same child.  Myson who is almost 9 has to have his room cleaned by Monday night or no Cub Scouts on Tuesday.  If the room is not cleaned Monday night, 5 mminutes before bed, I go up stairs with my trash bag and collect everything that isnt put away, to include clothes, shoes, toys, books... EVERYTHING.  In order for him to get his things back he has to have a clean room for one whole week then and only then can he start to earn his stuff back.  He earns things back with a clean room, and helping with other chores.  If his room returns to a pig sty before his week is done.  I go through his stuff and discard the things I think is junk and give the other kids the option to earn his stuff.  This works for all the kids, they all lose things and earn other things.  They end up trading for their favorites back.  Or they clean their room good enough so their favorite things do not get taken away. 

It works well for our house, for the most part

I have to say that mac doesnt have this problem luckily. He doesnt always want to do it, but other times he will go do it on his own, and hes very meticulous about it too. Thats at least one thing we dont have to fight about thankfully.Now RSWF...i don't mean to laugh but I got a chuckle out of your response about the under the bed not being a part of his room!  LOL  Good Luck on fixing that! 

You have gotten some great ideas. I will piggyback on them. Some of what I will say is repeating some of the above but may give you some ideas.

As others stated "Clean up your room" is too complex and can overwhelm the child. Checklists work very well for this.  One way of doing it, have the child fill out the checklist and then you recheck. If they miss something point it out and send them back to correct. The next time if the task is not complete then respond with something like "OK, no privileges until it is finished and if you bring out the checklist and have not done the job correctly then you will have another job and no privileges until both are done (small jobs mostly).  As in the under the bed, leave no loopholes...the kid will pick them up and zero in on them.

Good luck. When they get to be teenagers it is sometimes best to let it go. I had to climb into my son's room when he was a teen. Now as as adult he is immaculate in his housekeeping. He fusses at me if I leave a coke can on the sink for a few minutes and not put it in the trash. I just smile, put it in the trash and enjoy the irony. One never knows how they will do as they mature.

Dizfriz

 

Dizfriz - so there is hope?  I have a theory about our kids - they can't organize; they get disracted too easily when they try to tidy up; their bedroom is their world where they can have some control.  If you have a defiant kid like mine, you have to add to the mix stubborness and "I'll do it when I'm good and ready."

My son leaves a trail wherever he goes.  I'm letting the incentive of the new puppy be his reward.  Tonight is garbage night. I'll just remind him to empty his trash.

Mother2 - it is amazing what migrates under that bed.  Last year I found two of his the same textbook. I guess he lost them and they kept giving him new ones.  I have found homework that wasn't turned in, game pieces from games long gone, clothes and school projects from past  years.

It's like a huge magnetic black whole - things get "sucked" under there.  

2nd post...got lost somehow.

I knew one mother who got tired of the "under the bed routine". She solved the problem in a very simple and effective manner........she put the bed on the floor.

Dizfriz

 

Great on the room staying clean.  I laughed at the 3/12 bags of junk. I've been there.

My son "cleaned his room" OMG - some how, under the bed, doesn't seem to be part of his room.

 

Update: Well day two after I organized his room and it's still clean!!!!  Everything has a spot and he loves it!  He was so excited that he had to show the neighborhood kids!  I had to throw out 3 1/2 bags of JUNK that was in his room! 

Another big thanks to the person who said to take a pic of his clean room and display it.  He has looked at this pic numerous times as a "model"....Great idea!