I think my son has ADHD | ADHD Information

Hello, I am new to all of this and i am kind of confused. I know three year olds are supposed to be hyper and not sit still for very long, but my son is so far beyond that. He has no attention span what-so-ever. I cant even read him a story for 5 seconds before he is over it and wants to move on to something else. He cannot concentrate on anything. You can tell he is frustrated because he acts out alot by yelling and throwing things. I am having a very hard time potty training him and i heard that ADHD children do have difficulty with that. I am starting to get worried about him. My family tells me it is just your typical 3 year old, but I feel differently. I see other 3 year olds and their mothers can actuallly read their kid a story or try to do a fun activity with their kids, and i want that so much with mine, can somebody please tell me if maybe i should intervene and do something. Thank you to everyone who reads this, I appreciate it!Hello and welcome!  You will probably have a very hard time finding a doctor that will diagnose this early.  My son was exactly like yours, could not sit still for anything...except cartoons.  There came a time when I wouldn't take him shopping or things like that because he would just be out of control.  At the age of 3.5 the director at his learning center approached me with ADHD concerns.  I was shocked but looking back now...I see it.  He is now almost 6 and will be starting meds this weekend.  Adderall XR 5 mg.  The smallest dosage possible.  I too thought that his behavior was different than most kids his age.  Best of luck to you and whatever you decide.  Hugs to you!Thank you so much I just dont want him to have any problems growing up and if i could prevent that from happening I wish I could. Nothing gets him to sit still, not even dinner,lol. I really want to do something with him, i want to play with him, i want to take him to the park without worrying, and i have just about pulled my hair out trying to try things for him and i to do together. I dont go to bed until about 2a.m. because he wont sleep and we wake up around 6 a.m. and hes at it all over again, at least now i dont feel like i am overreacting thinking it is ADHD, thank you so much.

Well, those sound like ADHD behaviors. It really is hard to get an accurate or complete diagnosis at this age. It could be other things too. It kind of depends on how you want to go here. If your only goal is to be able to do more things together, you could likely get a child psychiatrist to diagnose and prescribe medication, or perhaps a pediatrician. The dx would be totally subjective because there are no tests that I am aware of for a 3 yo. I'm pretty sure at this age the only treatment would be medication. (Meds are not a magic pill, and come with their own problems.) Then around age 6 or 7 you get get a more accurate diagnosis. Or you could just let nature take it's course and select activities suited to his behavior for now.

Yes, ADHD kids can be hard to potty train. Skip all of those "potty training" books on the shelf and find a book on how to potty train an autistic child. That will probably have the most on target info. Much more strategic. Boy, did I waste my time, energy and money trying to follow all of the traditional potty training advise. I swear, I thought about poop everyday for two years. What a nightmare.

As far as the sleep goes, go get some chewable or liquid melatonin for him, and start at .5 mg then work you way up to 3 mg if needed. Give it 30 minutes before bedtime. Get yourself some sleep! Sheesh!!

NoTellin39351.8653356481

lol, I wish I could get some sleep  I dont think my goal is just for him and I to do things together, i think I just want to see him happy and not have to struggle like children with ADHD do. I am not very educated on ADHD, but I am trying to educate my self a littl bit. I see him get so frustrated so often, and I really dont know what to do. Time out doesnt work, taking away toys doesnt work, and I am just about running out of ideas. I really dont want to medicate him, he is so young and I really wouldnt want to take that route with this. I think I will try the melatonin though, that might help him function a little better throughout the day if he could just get some sleep. If there are any suggestions on how to help focus better, or how to deal with his frustration I would greatly appreciate it.

blakesmama3, I personally diagnosed my son at 2 1/2. he was in early intervention and I even told them.

He was professionally and accurately diagnosed just shy of his 5th birthday by a pediatric neurologist at a children's hospital.

We did NOT start meds until he was almost 7. Even though we were told he was severe, we didn't believe it

He was labeled, by adults, school staff and kids, and it still bothers me. I feel horrible guilt for letting my son suffer when all I had to do was see a psychopharmacolgist. I didn't know back then. It is like not buying a prescription for a pair of glasses for your child if they have been diagnosed with nearsightedness!

Please post any questions, concernes, etc. I wish I knew these boards when I was newer to this. It would have really helped me come to grips with the whole medication thing.

Regards!

blakesmama, hi and welcome. Obviously I have no idea if your son has ADHD or not and at 3 it's so hard to know. Let me tell you a little story though. My now 5 /12 year old was AWFUL at 3. She jumped off furniture, she was very, very active, very stubborn, tantrums.....etc., etc. With a solid behavior plan and very, very consistent discipline and maturity we have seen MAJOR improvement over the past two years. I'm not 100% convinced she doesnt have "something" going on yet, but like notellin says it really takes until their older to know what behaviors they will outgrow. I have a 13 yo who has ADHD, diagnosed at 5, and they are nothing alike, which is why I didnt assume the hyperactivity was ADHD, go figure. Anyway, my overall point is start a good behavior plan (see marble thread), read as much as you can about discipline tactics, the key is minimal confrontation. And obviously get the sleep (both of you).  Get a strict consistent routine going, he will thrive. I did not take my daughter anywhere with me for a long, long time. She just couldnt handle it. I got frustrated with her and she always, always acted out. Now she is fine (most of the time). All the while educate yourself and if/when the time comes and he does end up being diagnosed, you'll have begun a good path and will have the knowledge to make some hard choices that come along with it. Good luck.

Thank you so much for the advice with dicipline. He is VERY strong minded and doesnt respond well to any punishment I give him. Time out is just useless, he will usually find something to throw at me, I dont believe in spankings, so he doesnt get that, I try to take things away, but he honestly doesnt care if something is taken away, I did read the marble idea, but I wonder if I could replace the money with a treat for him, because he really doesnt understand the value of money yet. I have tried something similar with stickers, I tried to put up a schedule for him and when he followed it and picked up his room he had gotten a sticker, so he could see his accomplishment, but he soon gave up, and that idead quickly failed. I try to follow the best routine I can, but I know he needs a more consistent routine. I see alot of things that say minimal confrontation, but what does that mean exactly? If he does do something wrong, what should I say to him if I cant confront him? i know that mind sound like a stupid question, but I dont want him to think he can get away with things, and i dont want him to get hurt, because my son also jumps off of everything. He is a very loving little boy when he wants to be, and I know he doesnt intentionaly mean to be this way, but some days can be so tough  He is going to be 4 in april and then going to pre-school and i dont want him to have problems there as well, so right now I am willing to try anything. Mental health does run in our family too, so that doesnt make it any easier. My grandma as well as myself have bipolar disorder and my father has a personality disorder as well as addiction problems, and my sons father has ADHD, so he doesnt have good genes so I wonder if he had inhereted something. I did warn his doctor about all of this and he said we would watch Blake closely, but now that it is interfering with his interaction with other kids as well as him getting very frustrated and upset, I wonder if maybe I should talk to his doctor? or do U think I am jumping the gun? I really dont want to medicate my son, so if anybody has any natural ideas, I would appreciate them.

well.....at least i feel much better now that i had found this site and got to vent a little bit tonight.

I brought my son to a behavioral specialist at 41/2 because of the things you said you were going through.  My motherly insticts told me something is just not right here.  It was overwhelming.  The behavioral specialist confirmed the diagnosis of ADD and started him on Concerta 18.  He told me to give it to him the next morning and within 30 minutes I should see a change.  I was thinking, no way is this pill going to make a difference.  WELL, it did.  He was like a new child, I was amazed.  See about taking your child to a behavioral specialist and go from there.  Good Luck.Oh my gosh, I looked up sensory seeking behavior and how to deal with it, and they had a list on one website of what these children experience and my son experiences the same thing. He is constantly finding things to jump off of, he runs alot, but eventually will fall, he HATES loud noises, especially lawn mowers, we cant go outside if there is a lawn mower, he gags on food he doesnt like, he bites his shirt all the time, and he tells me certain touches hurt and he doesnt like the feeling of the button on his pants, ansd he prefers certain textures, like my hair, he is constantly feeling, and smelling my hair, and the cats fur he likes to feel against his face, and trust me, the cats hate it I thought this was a typical picky 3 year old The trampoline sounds like a great idea, it would give him a chance to jump, but he also wouldnt have a chance of getting hurt too, thank you for that idea. Does anyone else know anything about this? or any ways to help him with this? That would be awesome to help him find ways to deal with this.  I think today i am going to try finding him a quiet area, where we can try the other idea, and I will see how that goes with him, that also sounds like a great idea to try!get the book Carol Kranowitz The Out of Sync Child. She gives more suggestions than you could want.

my daughter did not care about time outs or taking things away at 3 either. I stopped doing it. One day I just lost it with her and said, you know this is ENOUGH. From now on if throw anything, or act fresh you need to be by yourself, no one wants you around when acting like that. So next time (within minutes) she acted out I said, thats it, in your room until you can be nice. I had to drag her in there. We spent 2 solid hours that day, she'd come out, I'd say oh ok you're ready to be part of the family and be nice, she'd say something not nice or start flipping out, I would say nothing, took her by the hand and put her back, said I'm serious, you cant come out until you can be calm. Finally after 2 hours of me holding the door and bringing her back in there a hundred times, she calmed down enough for me to talk to her. I got her to take deep breaths and count to 20. I then calmly told her every time she acted out (detailed what I meant, yelling no, throwing, etc) I would send her to her room until she could behave appopriately with the rest of us. Then did it, first I'd point to her room, if she didnt go, I wouldnt talk, I'd take her arm and bring her in there, say when you're calm and walk out. She'd freak out (we cleaned a lot of messes in there), but once she realized I wasnt going to fight back or even talk to her until she calmed down it started to work. Some days she'd flip out in there, some days she just started playing with her toys, I didnt care as long as when she came out she was calm and sat and listened to me. then I'd talk to her (briefly) about how to handle it better. The days she handled herself better I'd overly praise her for not flipping out. The key is dont talk once they know the rules. You dont have to yell and say I told you every time, just do it, put them in their place (we used her bedroom) and when they're calm, then talk. I truly think it took us both doing this consistently to help her learn to calm herself (we had taght her to take breaths and count, still remind her to do this now), and that I wasnt fighting with her and most importantly, we were in charge and her behavior was not tolerated and there would be some sort of consequence.

Yes I think using a treat at this age works wonderfully. I have a friend whose child has autism and for a long time their reward was a mini m & m. It worked wonderfully, until he decided he wouldnt eat m $ m's anymore .

Try buying a mini trampoline (about .00), jumping away is a GREAT way to release some of the energy and curb that sensory seeking behavior of jumping. Read Carol Kronwitz book, the out of sync child, she gives lots of play ideas for sensory seeking behaviors. My daughter still likes to jump, but has learned to do it appopriately.

Diane V39353.1140393519Ok well today we tried putting him in his room and telling him he could come out when he wasnt upset anymore, and it did work to some extent  He would come right out a few times and I would have to tell him he wasnt calm and he needs to go back in his room and then when he did come out he would do something again, but I think if we stick to this it will work, because now I am not confronting him and making more of a problem, it did work a few times again, he would come back out and tell me he was sorry and then behave a little better, thanks for that idea, I like it. Today I also tried giving him a small ''treat'' if he cleaned his room or helped do other small things like putting his p.j.s under his pillow this morning and that worked, those were such good ideas, thank you so much

HI!