OMG What do I do? | ADHD Information
Thank you so much for all the replies.Since my post, Robby (who is 6 and in the first grade) has started on a lower dose of Adderall. He now takes 5mg instead of the 10mg...he is doing much better. He was actually doing his homework and writing on the lines! For the first time ever he wrote on the lines! I am going to wait until next month for Parent/Teacher conferences and see what happens and what she says. I'm hoping that he catches up a little more and gets up to grade level......
Now for anyone that reads this..I asked this on another message and it wasn't answered....but does anyone else have lots of problems with sleep? Robby was on Benadryl for awhile and it wasn't working, now he's on....something else, I can't remember off the top of my head, and he still has problems getting to sleep. Anyone else have that problem?
[QUOTE=MnkyMama]Thank you so much for all the replies.
Since my post, Robby (who is 6 and in the first grade) has started on a lower dose of Adderall. He now takes 5mg instead of the 10mg...he is doing much better. He was actually doing his homework and writing on the lines! For the first time ever he wrote on the lines! I am going to wait until next month for Parent/Teacher conferences and see what happens and what she says. I'm hoping that he catches up a little more and gets up to grade level......
Now for anyone that reads this..I asked this on another message and it wasn't answered....but does anyone else have lots of problems with sleep? Robby was on Benadryl for awhile and it wasn't working, now he's on....something else, I can't remember off the top of my head, and he still has problems getting to sleep. Anyone else have that problem?
[/QUOTE]
Ha ha ha kidding right?
I was on no medication as a kid and I would hear the adults go to bed after midnight [I was in bed singing all night, reading comics with a flashlight and bouncing, 8pm bedtime] and then woke up before my dad went to work at 4:30 in the morning, ate cereal, apple pie and potato chips while watching the test patterns on TV waiting for the cartoons to start. In the winter I took off with my skates [small town] before the sun came up.
My mom would have said, "When does that kid EVER sleep?"
Lots of ADHD kids don't sleep much thus driving their parents into premature grey hair and balding...
Call the special education department ASAP and request to have the forms to have your son evaluated sent to you, or pick them up in person 
If he is not an IEP or 504 plan, maybe he should be. Maybe he has learning disabilities, or sensory integration with the writing stuff, etc.
Regardless of the school following the plan, that is true, but for another post. I would make sure that your son is receiving the necessary education for HIM.
It sounds like he needs help with writing. I like that the teacher wants to get to know him for herself instead of relying on what she reads, this prevents labeling. But on the other hand, you want her to have a "heads up" on things that she needs to help him with and to realize just how far he has come.
The special ed department can help you, as well as the principal, if you want to go over her head, which you may have to. But Special education department should be part of his school life, for special accomodations such as sitting up front and not being timed, etc.
Please post an update on how things are going for your little guy!!
Let me just start by letting you know you are not alone in this fight. Ihave battled it seems 4 out of the 5 years my son has been in school.
The sad thing is that depending on who they get depends on how much
you have to fight with the school. Remember, you are your child's voice,
and that you know him better than all of them. If you child's teacher is
unwill or able to help meet your child's needs than you should follow the
schools chain of command. (trust me I learned the hard way) Make sure
you document everything...keep a record in a notebook or pad of paper.
It is usually best to talk to them directly after school while it is all fresh in
thier minds. Ask them how thier day was, what they did, who they
played with, etc. If your child is suppose to be doing set assignments
everyday and those materials are not sent home document it. And then
write a note to the teacher (make a copy of the note and put it in your
file). It is best to do this for about 1 - 2 months. I know that seems like
a long time, but trust me time in this case works in your favor. Ask for a
meeting with either IEP team leader or princepal (also ask that this
meeting include the teacher). When you go take your folder. Control the
meeting...again...you are your child's voice...make sure he is getting
everything he needs to prepare him for his future. Show them, including
the teacher, the notes, records, and other things you have. Also, in
advance prepare a list of things that you think should be things that are
being address with your child on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis to go
over with them. Most of the time, what we as parents are asking for are
not huge untask or outragous things, but they require effort and time.
However, some teachers are unwilling to give that. This is a quote from
the letter I made as the cover for my file (gave each person at meeting a
copy of it) that finally seemed to hit home with everyone: "If we are to
demand excellence from our children, as well as, time, attention, effort,
respect, and the willingness to do their best, but in the same breathe turn
around a continuesly remove the tools needed to make that possible are
we (as the adults) not simply just setting them up to fail. If a child is
constantly trying his best, but contiueously hears he needs to simply try
harder are we not just in a polite way telling him that all his efforts and
hard work are not good enough. Why would that child continue to try at
all. How can we (as the adults) demand the best from child, and yet
ourselves only put forth 50 percent effort in to helping them meet the
goals we have set for them?"
The teacher in my case did not change...she continued with the behavior.
I then sent an email with the information logged in my record book to the
princepal, the teacher, the IEP group leaders, and the school board.
Needless to say...that teacher is no longer there. She was completely
disregaurding his IEP and refused to help. But I stayed on it. And they
figure out that you are a record keeper. If you can state dates and times
and show documentation...they can't argue with it. And after a while
things start running better.
Okay...I am sure I have taken up too much of your time now. So I will end
this here...go luck to you and your family!!does your son have an IEP If not he should be tested and they can make a learning plan for him. I have two childern with them and they have helped alot.[QUOTE=addfamily]does your son have an IEP If not he should be tested and they can make a learning plan for him. I have two childern with them and they have helped alot.[/QUOTE]
You can get occupational therapy for your son for his handwriting. This can be done in school. My son had this in third grade. I had to get a letter from his doctor but I felt it was well worth it!
I was wondering how old your son is and what grade he's in?
Secondly, I have a child development degree and SOME TIMES, some times, there are teachers who don't want to know for the BEST interest of the child. Parents of children who have 'issues', and I"m one of them, tend to over speak for their child and we innocently mark our children as 'bad' and 'trouble'. SO, in the child's defense, maybe the teacher was asking to basically let her figure him out and she'll accomodate him during class time as she feels best suited for him. I'm not sure this is her case and I'm sure that even if it is - that her communication with you leaves a lot to be desired. If you haven't had a parent-teacher conference with her, yet, wait and see how that goes. Let her speak first and see where she gets with you and how you feel she is looking out for your son, you may be pleasantly surprised. However, if you have had this and she's 'blowing you off' for lack of a better term, then you should most definitely make an appointment to speak directly to the principal.
But while speaking with a 'higher up' try very hard not to make your son a target or to peg him. Speak more about what he needs academically and leave the rest up to them, he truly may be suceeding a little better socially than you've been thinking. Hope this helps, I've been there and done that and it is very disheartening and frustrating.
I agree with Val to a large extent, but you pay taxes and you have a right to expect some things. My suggestion is to not go over her head until you have dealt with specific student behavior/progress issues. You could request a meeting with her and ask what steps she is taking to bring his writing up to grade level. And you could ask how she is modifying lessons to be at his level - for instance, she could ask that your son only do a portion of the homework assignment while his writing improves. If she takes a one-size fits all approach in her classroom, I would go over her head. Teachers can modify lessons, and make accommodations in the classroom to help students, and they should when it's needed. If they are overworked, that is an issue for the school administration and she needs to take it up with them.
I went throught the stage where I suggested all kinds of ideas, and offered to furnish things for the class, but was stopped at every effort. I ended up taking my son out and enrolling him in a private school. Good luck!
I hate to be the one to break the news, but just because it's written down and even agreed to by the schools in a 504, IEP, etc. doesn't mean it will actually be carried out.
I'll assume the teacher has 20+ kids in the class, with some who are English as a Second Language, some who have high IQs, one that has a low IQ, 5 ADHD kids - with 2 actually taking meds - and what does she have left? She couldn't spend 5 minutes a day with every kid in the class if she wanted to. She probably doesn't even see it when the kids pick on each other - at least half of the time - and she probably does her best when she does see it happen.
There just aren't enough opportunities for her to provide much extra help for any single kid in the class and the fact the schools think she can is just a gross exaggeration, although quite a common one. Teachers also seem to think they can do it all, but the burn-out time for first-time teachers I believe is 5 years.
I'm thinking of homeschooling my son again and he's in a small class in a private school with ADHD/Other type of kids with an excellent staff. However, they have asked me for ideas to help him and have only implemented half of the ideas I've given them. If you can homeschool a child two hours a day, you've already provided more on-task time than a public school will be able to.
The sheer ratio of kids to teacher just doesn't allow time for accommodations as far as I can tell and I've volunteered countless hours in the classroom and sub-taught different ages.
Sorry I'm so pessimistic. But Google the high school grad rate in this country and you'll see that almost a third (of whites) don't get a diploma. The number is worse for blacks (about 50 percent) and really bad for hispanics (less than 40 percent) who are often English as a Second Language students. These numbers are of across-the-board students, some of whom are very bright with no diagnoses, not just adhd kids. Our education system is in crisis, but no one seems to know it.
Val
Last year my son was finally diagnosed with ADHD and ODD. He got put on meds half way through the year and it was a huge relief. He totally changed and started doing much better in school....but still had a rough time somewhat when dealing with the other kids. This year his teacher is.......uumm....something else. At meet the teacher day I tried to tell her a little about the hard times he had last year....and she said she didn't want to know. I tried to tell her about being on medication and how he still has problems when he deals with other kids...she said she didn't want to hear about it. She says she hasn't read his file and doesn't want to know about any of his past. Ok, as far as I'm concerned it is very important for her to know what has happened.So......we needed to see a dr for medication management and I had a huge thing for her to fill out. When I met with the doctor to review his issues...he said that from that evaluation it looks like my son is getting ready for saint-hood. OMG! I KNOW better than that. I volunteered at the school for picture day and saw a kid push him and my son burst into tears....I KNOW that stuff happens all the time...my son tells me.
How do I deal with this teacher? I don't know what to do.....He has major issues with his writing, she said that he was WAY below grade level...so I told her I was working with him at home...she says...don't worry about it, he's doing fine, that's what the school is for.....uumm..ok, but I left it up to the school last year and he is still behind. Then I get homework sent home and how in the hell am I supposed to have him write sentences using vocab words when he can't hardly write the spelling words as it is? I don't know what I'm supposed to do.
Speak to the Principle.