ninabeanz,
Wow - my reaction to your post is that my son is VERY similar. First, the other postings may be correct - time might help. But, my son's kindergarten teacher told me the first week that my son needed the "gift of time" and then a few months later completely reversed her opinion. Plus, we were already told in preschool that he beats to his own drummer and will be a challenge in any traditional classroom. My son was active and disobedient since age 2 - he never listened to "no" and didn't go with the flow in pre-school. Then he became disruptive and occasionally aggressive or destructive. He didn't do terrible things, but he was a headache for anyone to manage - teachers, sports coaches, etc. I tried to find the best schools, and they used a lot of redirection and trying to keep him interested. I DO have to ask him to do things over and over and then threaten, but it's getting better.
Here's what we learned. He also would NEVER sit down and work on letters, numbers, etc. Most kids follow the teacher's lead and just do the work even when they are not interested. My son would not. We learned that he is very bright what his current teacher said is he is the kind of kid that doesn't really need a teacher - just give him the information and he figures it out. I never taught him to read, he did it himself and I never remember him sounding out a single word. Same with math, he hates doing problems, but if there's a sale and something is 20% off, he can tell me how much it is. He gets it, and the repetitive, boring "drill and kill" routines that most kids do fine with are torture for him.
He also does not listen when you talk, or take advice or instruction. He's been in lessons and sports and very seldom will he take advice from the teacher/coaches. He must figure it out himself. Not a great trait - but it is what it is.
I highly recommend a reward system because a child like this is so prone to getting overpunished. It's hard to use the reward system with him because he is so in the moment. But I've fed him M&Ms one at a time to get through a homework page, or used a prize basket for coming home with no written issues. I even had a little toy store at home where he could save penneys and buy himself a little toy. Like a superball might be 5 cents, and he could get that much in a day just putting on shoes, getting in car, etc. Otherwise, every step of the day is a threat and counting to 3.
Now that he's 8, he has to earn TV/Computer/game boy time by getting ready for school and in the car with backpack, and not any serious problems. He is now on meds (started 4 mos ago) and things have improved drastically.
If your son shows in one area (cars) an ability to grasp that much information, he may be gifted and challenged at the same time as my son is. Kids can't fake intellegence, so the good news is if he does have something like ADHD, you can have the option of meds at some point and his academics will be fine. For my son, k, 1, and 2, were practically a waste of time. He did very little of the work. Yet he is now testing a couple grades ahead of his age, and with the meds he is pretty much mainstream.
Sorry for the long post!
At 4 there is such a wide range or "normal" that it is all but impossible to diagnose ADHD. Hang on a few years, and if you still suspect it, have a Psychiatrist evaluate him. Your pediatrician can give you a referrral then. Hello everyone,Check out the book 123 Magic- it was a lifesaver when my son was this age. I stopped repeating myself and started counting. With in 2 weeks he had started listening significantly better. We did have to put a lock on the outside ofthe door to make him stay in his room for timeout, but we only had to use it once or twice.
I know how you feel about the reward system- I was reluctant to try it at first too because I thought there must be a way to get him to listen just because he should. Then I read that the reward center in the brain of a person with adhd doesn't function as well as in the typical brain, so he doesn't derive them same amount of pleasure from things as someone else would. That helped me to see how reward systems can sort of supplement that shortage. Either way, check out the marble thread at the top of the page. My son earns per 25 marbles (100 was too many) and it's money that I would have been giving him anyway, but he doesn't have to know that.
Try to combine the academic with some of his favorite activities. When he's playing play-doh ask who has more peices, who has less. Shape it into different colored cars and make patterns out of it. When he's naming cars point out that Honda starts with "H" and ask if he can think of any other cars that start with that sound (or any other words).
As far as sleeping goes I know a lot of people on here have used melatonin with great success. It's a supplement that you can buy just about anywhere.
I just know with timeouts it might take me 1 hour to get my child to sit on a time out or longer the first time. it was a real struggle. then that point on, he goes on time out when told. don't give up. keep the boundaries and make them very clear [QUOTE=ninabeanz]