Hi all

   I am new at this blog. I am a grandma of an 8 year old boy who has been diagnosis with ADD ADHD OCD ODD and Bipolar.  I have married into this family about 2 years ago.  My husband has a daughter who gave up custody of this child to her grandparents. So the child lives with his great grandparents who are now 71 and 72 yrs old. My husband and I are 51 and 49. I have so many concerns with this child!!  Tonight was the first I had seen him in almost a month. (Not that I dont want to see him, they make it difficult for us to see him). Anyway, when I saw him tonight I did everything I could not to grab him and run..far a way and fast!!  I have never seen him so hyper, jittery, nervous, anxious, unable to focus or sit down, shaking hands, mouth movements were so bad, he continually licks his mouth and has created a huge sore on his lips. His mouth and nose continually twitch.  He was unable to focus on any topic. He would stop for a few seconds and just stare into nowhere.  Then he would again jump up and move all around as in jumping up and down, arms swinging, and the twitching was incredible. He could not seem to hold his eyes still as they were moving so quickly around the room. My heart sunk and I had a very hard time biting my tongue!!  I know he is on the new med VYVANSE and several other meds to go with that. I also know that she does not always give him the meds as ordered. 
  When I asked about his school (he is now is a self contained class). She said the teacher stated he has been crying lately when he is told to sit and pay attention, or crying when he cant get what he wants. ( I know this is typical). She also stated that he has been in trouble again as he wants to argue all the time. He has also been lying to teachers and his great grandparents. He is rather distructive when he is at home. I have heard of horrible things he is doing such as giving the dog a can of bug spray, throwing knives he gets from the kitchen out into the yard, taking sticks and sharpening them with knives and throwing them at the dog.
  I know I can go on and on with this but it only frustrates me more.  I am in such need for advice.  Last year I went to the other school where he was attending. They thought I was nuts and told his great grandparents I had been openly discussing these problems with the teachers. (I was but I was seeking help). I have also been to the local Dept of Social Services who have told me I should not make waves as they cant do anything unless the child is in harm. 
  I am by trade a social worker and find this maddening!!  I cant seem to get help from anyone.  To top all of this off, his great grandma has OCD and is a huge pack rat. You cant even get into the house from all the junk lying around. There are bugs in the home that you can see crawling on the ceilings, floors, furniture, and every where you can imagine. I refuse to go inside the home anymore. I know what you are thinking...get the child out!!  Thats the problem, nobody seems to think he should leave. I have been told numerous times that its unrealistic to take him out of the only place he knows.  I am beginning to feel like I am the one who needs the medications!! 
  As I sit here tonight seeking some type of advice, I am crying as I know that child needs so much help and I cant help him. I have tried to offer support, sent them info on various afterschool activities such as swimming, horse backriding for kids with ADD, even have offered to take him, all I get is NOTHING!  Now they want him to get involved in basketball. He cant follow simple directions, organized sports will never work with him. 
  I apologize for rambling on and on.  Please if anyone out there has any suggestions please let me know.  Right now my biggest concern is his physical self.  The twitching and tic symptoms are just rapid right now. I tried to hold him and have him take slow breaths to maybe calm him a bit, but he could not focus on his breathing.  Please help or suggest anything I can do to assist this child!

  Thanks so much for listening. 
     Much love to everyone out there!!!
             GrandmaDB

Hi grandmaDB and welcome. your post really touched me. There are so many who would love your help but aren't even offered it. Here this family is offered it but won't accept it.

Would it help to call DSS about the cleanliness of the home, or would that make things even worse? Why won't they let you all see him and help him? At the ages you mention - 71 and 72, wouldn't they want the help?

Also, is he accurately diagnosed? Is the med the right one for him? Who is diagnosing and helping the ggrandparents make these decisions when ADHD wasn't even a word when they were raising children???

I too would worry that this poor little boy is going to get hurt or in serious trouble up the road. Pleas try to prevent it before it is too late!! And you are doing the right thing!!

Please post an update!!

Regards!!

BethAnn
  Thank you for the support. As far as his meds  I do know that they started him on the new med Vyvanse about 2 months ago. He is also on Strattera, and one other which I believe is Tenex. Since he has been on these meds his anxiety, lying and aggression has worsened.  I know his Psych. personally but cannot speak with him directly as we are not on the list to discuss these concerns.
   As far as the home, I have tried to contact social servies, they stated to me as long as he is not being abused they can do nothing. Being a social worker I find this very disturbing. He has become aggessive and the behavior is getting worse. About 3 weeks ago, he found a bug bomb in the shed and gave it to the dog. He has been seen throwing knives in the yard, cutting his clothes and the list goes on.  Seeing this in black and white makes me think of some kind of movie. However, it is not,,this is real and I cannot seem to find anyone to help. 

  Thank you for your support and encouragement as I am in need of both at this time.

    GrandmaDB

Hi again,

I just wanted to respond to the medications that you mention he is on. My son also started to take straterra along with his concerta. My son is very hyper and impulsive. The psychopharmacologist thought that by having something in his system at all times would help my son.

My son became extremely depressed. He became quiet, withdrawn. He mentioned that he wanted to kill himself. We stopped straterra immediately, even though it is a med that builds up in the blood system, and my son never mentioned killing himself again. I don't even think he remembers it!

One of the side effects of that med is suicidal thoughts/tendencies. I also wonder if your grandson's med combos could be making him more aggressive, or they just aren't working, plain and simple!

That is something the social workers may be able to help you get in there and better help him!

He obviously needs more help than he is getting. He is an accident waiting to happen with those knives! I hate to have another juvenile in trouble with the police when it can be prevented, if you know what I mean!!

He also needs more supervision that they are able to give him at their ages. It sure would do him some good to take advantage of those opportunities that you mentioned in your original post!!

Please keep me posted!!

Regards