New to the board | ADHD Information

I just found this board and hope that it will become a place of answers for me. 

My 6 year old son was diagnosed with ADHD at age 3 and was medicated when he was 4.5.  Concerta first, but we just switched to the Daytrana patch.

His biggest problem is impulse control and it has effected his school relationships.  I met with his teacher today and it is clear that she is not fond of him and that he annoys her.  He also seems to have an overly sensitive sense of justice and feels like he should be the one to mete it out.  He tattles and often corrects kids and adults.  I'm not sure if this is related to the ADHD or not.

I am learning more and more about ADHD and I know my son will never be a "pleaser."  But how do I get across to him the need to follow rules and accept responsibility?  He is stubborn and argumentative when he thinks he is right, even though he has been shown that he is not.  He really has trouble admitting that he was wrong. 

Anyway, I have a lot of questions, but this will suffice as a start for now.  I hope to get to know ya'll better.
Buy social skills books. He is probably too young for a social skills class. You can find the books in catalogues targeted at autistic children. They are picture books and take a very pragmatic approach.

jjames,

I am new to this board too, my DD sounds exactly the same as your son, and I'm having the same issues w/ his teacher. Teacher is not a bad person, just feel like it's not a good match for my daughter.

I've been thinking a lot about social skills as well, my daughter has constant conflicts with her friends that leave her or them crying, and it's nearly impossible for her to play with more than one other child. It's upsetting and embarassing when she has a play date at another child's house and I hear that they fought or she acted up.

I am going to the library today and will take a look at the book that Diane mentioned.

Morgan

oh no dont tell them anything.

 I would have my daughter ask the children in class if they wanted to come over and play such and such, like oh my Mom bought stuff to make t-shirts, do you want to come over? (It's best if you have a planned activity for them). Then I would havea good reason to be right there, either helping them or supervising, so I could sort of direct my daughter if she was not being "appropriate". Other good ideas are do playdates very structured, like play miniature golf or the movies, things where they are busy and having fun and you are there. It is a LONG slow process, but gives your child the opportunity to play one on one and the other kids will get to know him outside of the "group". Antoehr good suggestion is parties. This time of year is perfect. Halloween parties, "fall festival " with apple bobbing, and pumpkin painting. Just invite a few kids over and have planned activites. ADHD kids or any social issue kids dont do well with too much "free time" to figure it out on their own. I spent 2 solid years doing this with my daughter. It was exhausting, but she needed it. I tried to do at least one playdate a week.

Thanks for your advice.  I'm just really figuring out how different my son is from other kids.  Who knew learning to play nice would be so hard?  Some great advice here!

My son had impulse problems as well. It also got in the way of social relationships at school as well. concerta works well for him, the patch never took affect.

Is he on a 504/iep plan? He may need protection from the teachers at school!! Especially if he annoying them at the age of 6. He sounds like he may be very intelligent, more than a typical 6 year old!

I agree with NoTellin, try to help him with his social skills through play. There are GREAT books on how to help kids make and keep friends. Here's one example Good Friends Are Hard to Find: Help Your Child Find, Make, and Keep Friends by Fred Frankel (Author), Barry Wetmore (Author)

 I'm not sure 6 is too young for a group, but it has to be a good one or it wont be worth your time. I'm a big one for one on one playdates, especially at this age. It's not unusual for you to be "in their face" on the playdate becasue they're so young. Things change as they get older adn they dont want Mom around. Try to have individual playdates at home or out (park, bowling...etc). Try to guide him thorugh conflicts and conversations while playing. We do this with our children when they are younger 2,3,4, and start playing with other children. These kids still need that social guidance.

Hi-

I had a question in response to Diane V.  When you do one on one playdates with other children, do you inform the parents on what your goal is?  I'd like to do some one on one play dates, but I'm not sure if I should tell the parents about my son's condition first so they don't think that I'm "butting in" in certain situations.

Thanks!