Advice on 5 yo and riding school bus

Hello everyone.  I've never actually formally introduced myself (simply because I never seem to find the time), though I've been lurking here for a few weeks and have found this board a blessing. 

I have a 5yo son who was DX'd last winter with ADHD/(primarily hyperactive/impulsive subtype).  Like many kids, he does not fit the ADHD mold perfectly, but, according to the psychologist, "it's the closest thing that fits right now".  I also have a 6.5 year old son with some ADHD symptoms but is primarily OCD/Tourettes. 

I could take up a novel talking about how we came to this diagnosis, but for the purpose of this post I'll get to the present:  He is not on any meds, (we have recently started giving him fish oil supplements and are looking at other supps). He just started kindergarten last month, and it's been touch and go.  Sometimes literally LOL.

Most of my son's impulsivity comes out in the form of touching other kids.  He taps the tops of their heads, he pokes them, he hugs them or he sticks objects really close to their face.  His teacher, thank God, is wonderful and has been working with me to address the issues as they come.  He doesn't have an IEP or a 504 plan right now, but he is getting transitional services (he got services in preschool) (which consists of group therapy with a social worker once a week for 30 minutes).  At my request, they just had a meeting this week to brainstorm on how to handle his trouble times in school, which are transitional times, lunch, recess and the bus. 

They came up with some good ideas for transitions;  When walking in the hallway, my son will always be at the front of the line.  He will always have a teacher or para close by during all transitions.  At lunch, they are giving him things to occupy himself between the time he's done eating and recess.  (Another of his issues is food--he's extremely picky--so he always brings lunch from home.  They said he's usually done eating  his lunch before the kids buying lunch have even sat down).  Some of the things they gave him are puzzles, a rubiks cube, and a squishy ball.   At recess he will have a teacher following closely to redirect before trouble starts. 

That leaves the bus.  He rides a big school bus, and he has had several incidents on it so far.  A few times he was standing up and the driver had to pull over and make him sit.  Another time he was tapping another child on the head and the other child was very upset.  The driver is great, and we worked it out so he always sits in the front seat.  Things seemed to be working out.  Then, last Friday, there was an incident. 

He was tapping the head of a girl in the seat behind him and although she was crying, he wouldn't stop.  I should mention that my son is very tall for his age, and though he's only 5 he could easily pass for 8.  (he's 49 inches tall and 60 pounds). 

The driver said the mother was upset and said she was going to call the school and complain.  (That's when I called the school asking what other services he could get to help him and the meeting I spoke of took place).  One of the suggestions of the psycholgist at his school was that she could seek a 504 plan for my son requesting he get a minibus with an assitant. 

I discussed it with my husband and we decided to hold off, not that we don't want a 504, but because I think that just removing him from the situation (riding the bus) is not necessarily going to solve the problem.  Also, he truly loves the socilization of the bus stop, and sitting with his friend, etc.  So we took a wait and see attitude. 

Well today, there was another incident with the same girl as Friday.  Apparantly, when she was getting off at her stop my son stood up and said "You can't go through" and was not letting her pass.  The girl got very upset and her mother, obviously, was right there, and she told the driver that this time she reallly IS going to call the school (she didn't ever call last time).   

And here I am..wondering whether, for the sake of my son AND the kids he has been bothering on the bus, I should just go ahead and have the school seek the minibus for him. 

I know this got very long, thank you all who followed this far.  Some days I feel I have come so far with my son, and other days I feel like I'm just drifting at sea...lost and alone.  He's such a sweet kid inside, and it kills me that so many people only see the "other side", the impulsiveness, that they see as meanness.  When he's one on one, he's an angel.  Put him in a crowd and he's out of control. 

Any advice is welcomed.  Would you go for the minibus, or try some other solution to the big bus?  TIA. 

Tp

well, personally I think the bus is not for everyone. It is like sensory OVERLOAD! I feel terrible for your son, it's too much, I dont think he can control himself, however I feel for the bus driver and other children also. I applaud you for not expecting everyone to just deal with this, and looking at all your options. Is there any way you could drive him? I'm thinking some of the time. Use the bus (since he enjoys it) as a reward. Maybe give him some more settling in time at school and only do the bus on occasion. Then if that doesnt work out, I'd go for the mini bus. The big buses are tough, one driver all those kids

Sounds to me like you have great support at school and the bus driver is at least willing to work with you. Maybe it's just all too much right now.

My son had the exact same problem.  Bothering other kids on the bus or crawling under and over the seats etc.  We moved him to the front and found that still didn't help.  We have a positive reinforcement program.  He has a chart that the bus driver keeps for him.  If he stays seated and obeys all of the rules he gets a star.  At the end of the week the chart is given to him to give to me.  If he has all his stars he gets a treat.  Doesn't have to be food.  Free night with no chores or a trip to the park works best for my son.  It's worth a try.  The bus driver you have sounds like they would be willing to help.  The other thing to is that I made them install a harness seat belt on the big bus for my son.  They were required to do this because it was stated in his IEP through school.  He also gets door to door for the bus which was also required through the IEP.  We live in a rural area and I was afraid of him getting hit by a car due to his hyperactivity.

Hope this helps.