At my wit’s end | ADHD Information

hawks2921 is right, I feel, in the sense that EVERYONE responds to both reward and consequence. We just have to help the kids with ADHD with a path to getting the reward. My 5 year old certainly gets through a day easier than my 12 year old. They are both rewarded for at least something daily, but most days they pay some sort of consequence. It's all about balance. We won't always be there to be safety net for them. Things start to change after 12, priorities shift.

I suggest you talk to the counselor at your son's school. I talked to the counselor as well as all of my son's 6th grade teachers and they were all very understanding & helpful. They do want the kids to succeed and some of them have kids at home who are ADHD.

My son's 6th grade year went very well. He didn't get the best grades (because of forgetting to turn in assignments), but he learned and felt successful.

I am a teacher myself and there is a least one other teacher in our bldg. who has a child who needs meds. We do know where you are coming from.

I have just about lost my mind. I feel like I'm near a breakdown.

I have been trying and trying and trying to help my ADHD child get organized, be more responsible yadda yadda for six years of elementary school. This year in sixth grade, the homework structure is completely different. This year the teacher has handed them all the responsibility for their work etc. And rightly so, after all they need to be ready for junior high school.

My son cannot handle it. He doesn't use the agenda. I have created a game so he'll remember to use the agenda. Great that worked. I have to remind him to read the agenda. Half his homework is left behind in school. The other half that I've reminded him to do gets done. The next night he tells me HE FORGOT TO PASS IT IN!!

What is the point of me helping him??? I cannot do it for him. I have to decide if I should have him sent back to fifth grade (he is very young for grade six, if he had been born a week later he would only be in fifth grade, he just made cutoff) right now or should I just give up, let him flounder on his own and fail miserably having to do sixth grade over again next year???

I'm just sick. He is so smart but there is just NO MOTIVATION. he just does not give a care about anything. I just don't know what to do anymore. IT makes me cry... help help help!!!!!

MOTIVATING HIM AND GETTING HIM TO CARE A LITTLE MAY HALFWAY HELP BUT HOW DO I INSTILL THIS IN HIM??

Does he have a 504 or an IEP? That could go a LONG way in helping him. Is he medicated? Does he have an IEP? Does he have a behavior plan? What services is he receiving at school? [QUOTE=mishel24]

I have just about lost my mind. I feel like I'm near a breakdown.

I'm just sick. He is so smart but there is just NO MOTIVATION. he just does not give a care about anything. I just don't know what to do anymore. IT makes me cry... help help help!!!!!

MOTIVATING HIM AND GETTING HIM TO CARE A LITTLE MAY HALFWAY HELP BUT HOW DO I INSTILL THIS IN HIM??

[/QUOTE]

He's still young. Breathe deep there Mom--you've a whole lifetime yet

I doubt the boy "doesn't care"--it sounds more as if he hasn't developed strategies that work for him yet. Especially at that age--your ways of coping and his ways may not be the same.

Can you get a good psychologist or coach specializing in ADHD for this boy? That would take the pressure off you to help him and the assistance would be more neutral meaning less struggle between yourself and your son. They could also intervene with the school.

That would be my suggestion, anyway. Hope it helps.

I have an ADHD son 12 plus a non-diagnosed 10 year old son. My 10 year old has wonderful behavior and is getting mostly A's in school. Really no need for a diagnosis. However, his memory is HORRIBLE!!!!

The way I'm dealing with it is to help teach him memory skills and I've talked to the teacher about trying to help him set up his workspace and end of day to help him remember. But a big thing I'm also using is punishment. (Or should I have said consequence?)

If he forgets his homework, he is not allowed outside after school. This is a huge incentive for him because he is one of the most social kids I know. He also loses 10 minutes of recess if he forgets his homework.

I believe that kids have to learn to compensate for their shortcomings, diagnosis or not. And rewards don't always work. Sometimes, they need to feel the "pain" to help them remember. (Its funny, but most of our forgetful kids don't forget that they can't touch a hot stove!)

Good Luck.

hawks292139367.5379166667I'm curious about the IEP or 504 myself. My daughter ALWAYS, ALWAYS forgot everything and to check her agenda. In her ed plans, I always ask for hlep with check list and organizational skills. Some things I've created on my own are putting a daily checklist somewhere she has to see it before she comes home. I also have multiple folders for her. They are all labeled, homework to be done, homework completed, papers for home, papers to be returned to school. This way I can look at agenda or homeowrk list and the folder to know whats been done, needs to be done....etc. I double check she has put it back in the apporpriate slot when completed. I take the papers folder and things to keep home I take out, things to be signed and returned we do it right then.