I don’t know what to do! | ADHD Information

Please can someone tell me how to deal with my sons behaviour? A few months ago I was told he possibly had ADHD and Tourettes syndrome, the ADHD was suspected but I was surprised about Tourettes (not knowing anything about it). It all makes sense now, the constant stranges noises that he makes, shoulder shrugs, eye tics etc.

We have been waiting 3 months for the final appointment with a psychiatrist to give the final diagnosis and discuss medication and things have got so bad during this time.

Toby is being excluded from school every few months, he won't listen to teachers, he mouths back to them, gets picked on for his body movements then fights back. During the Summer he got in trouble with the police and is now on a final warning, meaning that anything else he does wrong will involve court. He is on yet another weeks' exclusion from school and thinks its great being at home and not school!

I have 3 other children (15 yr old daughter, 7 yr old son and 3 yr old son) and he is constantly irritating them, expecially the youngest two. The more he is asked to stop the more he persists. The things he says to me are so distressing I can't begin to explain how upset I am as all I want to do is help him and love him.

Part of me wants to ignore some of the behaviour in case he can't help it but the other part of me wants to go mad. How should I deal with it for the best?

Please, please can someone come to my rescue with some advice as I feel so hopeless and depressed?

helphelphelp, hang in there. The waiting part is the HARDEST! Try if you can to get a break. Do you have anyone that can babysit for you, so you can have some time to yourself. Is your son in any therapy. Counseling may be very helpful for him. Imagine the frustration he lives with every day. You should be abel to find a therapist to work with him fairly wuickly. You'll need the psych for meds, but for ongoing therapy you need a therapist. How old is your son?

Thank you for replying so quickly. He is 12 nearly 13 and things are getting considerably worse as the days go on. Ironicly I have just had a weekend away but already in tears with the intensity of the problem.

How do I go about getting a therapist and would I have to pay?

I went on my insurance website and got a list. I then just started calling locally and weeded out the ones thet weren't taking new patients, and then talked to a few before deciding who just sounded like they would be a fit. We pay a copayment, it depends on your insurance. He is mid puberty, that doesnt help, it's hard time for kids (and their parents!)

Thank you I will look into it.

Usually a Psychiatrist won't diagnose but will refer to a Neuropsych or Psycologist. I agree, the waiting is the hard part.......just hang in there.

Thank you for telling me what PiNS means. Not at that stage right now thankfully.

I am really disappointed, the assessment was cancelled today and put off until next tuesday. I know it is only one more week but it's one too many right now!

Counselling is something he doesn't want to do, there are certain people in his life that he will tell anything to but I can't convince him to try. He is scared about the court but so impulsive it doesn't cross his mind at the time he is getting in trouble. He really doesn't realise how close he is to getting in serious trouble.

I am unfamiliar with the term PINS, what is that?

Is he happy at school? How is his social life? Any changes?

At 12 he is begining to change. Puberty is starting to hit. He is dealing with all that preteen stuff, on top of being undiagnosed/possible ADHD. It is quite hard.

if he were my son, I would make him go to counseling.

My son is 10 and has his meds prescribed by a psychopharmacologist, he is a psychiatrist who also is brilliant when it comes to meds. He also counsels both children and adults, if needed. Because we go to him for his medication, my son will have him there in case he needs to talk at some point. Right now, DS doesn't say much except answer questions.

I think you both may want to attend together, unless your DS wants privacy!

He is very unhappy at school, has many friends but often the ones that aren't a good influence and it's really hard to stop him seeing them.

I have just found out we have our psychiatrist appointment next Tuesday! I can't wait to go and see what they say, I can discuss counselling opportunities then.

You know your son is probably hurting inside. He just doesn't want to talk.

Hang in there until next Tuesday. I know is seems far away, but professional help is on the way.

I dread the thought of the bad influence friends that our kids seem to hang with. I hope I don't have to deal with that eventually!

Any outside activities that your son is interested in? Just trying to think of ways to get your son away from "those" friends.

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I am unfamiliar with the term PINS, what is that?

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*PINS is a petition parents can get against their children means Persons In Need Of Supervision and here a judge will order the kid to do what they need to do or else go to live in group facility awhile that is very structured and rigid.
Since your son is in process of being diagnosed that is step one step two meds may help curb the impulsiveness and calm him enough then try the therapy route again. Good luck.
Do not forget to take a deep breathe for yourself. Would your son be willing to go to counseling? If he is willing great if not if he is not committed I am unsure if it will be worth it for you. How does he feel about the court stuff? Curious and are they talking about PINS? Let me know? I pray it gets better for you.