Could It Be ADHD? | ADHD Information

It may or may not be ADHD, what you need to look at before making any suggestions for or against is A) is it recent or has he always been this way? ADHD is there from birth it doesn't develop, so if he's always been super hyper and defiant then it may be ADHD. B) is it apparent in 2 or more situations.. ie: school and home, and it appears to be. A child knows what's expected at school and a child with problems at home generally will conform at school. C) has there been any change it the child's life that coordinates with the time the behavior started? If he was 'normal' and suddenly became overactive, then it is most likley NOT ADHD.

Any behavioral modification training that you might want to start is only going to work if all caregivers are aware and willing to cooperate. Since the child's mother is lax in her disciplining, it will be difficult.

When it comes to kids and school I think ADHD is thrown around by teachers entirely to often. I have 5 children and two of my children do have adhd but when I was told that a third child of mine was thought by the teacher to have adhd I came unglued. Come to find out she was bored!!! She actually knew everything they were teaching in certain subjects. She wouldn't do the homework or class assignments because she felt it was a waste of time. Not gifted but definately an intelligent rebellious child. She does better know but agian agree that if the teachers really believe that there is a problem they need to address the problem not try to diagnose.

My children also go back and forth and without the help of BELIEVE IT OR NOT my ex's new wife we would still be struggling in the same area. My children go back and forth every other week. I honestly beleive that I could help him better with school and behavior but I can't punish him by not letting him see his dad as often. Regardless of my differences with my ex he does truely love his son even if he doesn't love him the same as me.

mom539372.8832638889Thank you everyone so much for all your input and advice, you have really helped us understand things better!! Thank you Thank you !!!My 6-year-old stepson's teacher recently suggested at parent/teacher conference that he may have ADHD. His parents divorced at age 1. Mom has custody. Dad and I currently get visitation every weekend and one week night. Dad and I began dating at age 1.5 and married at age 4. 2 households, 2 sets of rules, mom is much more lenient than us and lacks stability (moves frequently, jobless, hops man to man, etc.). He's a very bright, fun, cleaver, loving child. But very hyper, doesn't listen, thinks life is a party and seems to be perceiving school the same way. He's a very loud child, talks loud, plays loud, to the point where we're constantly telling him to use indoor voice -- as frequently as 40 times over the course of 3 to 4 hours. We don't go to restaurants because he is so loud. He's able to focus/concentrate long enough on tasks he's interested in (bike riding, 4 wheeling, toys, games), but unable to focus/concentrate on any school work, seems totally bothered and frustrated that he's required to do school work because he knows how much fun stuff is out there to do, unless we work one on one with him, then he has no trouble. We give him our undivided attention always, we have no other children. He has many friends. Behaves well at times when alone with us, but as soon as he gets around friends, he forgets all rules and misbehaves, seems willing to do anything necessary to get a laugh and/or approval from the kids. Very easily distracted when we're trying to do school work or even have conversations with him (distracted by the sound of a kid outside in the distance, a kid riding bike in neighborhood past the window, the cat moving about the house, a hangnail on his finger, a leaf blowing across the yard, anything and everything). Seems unable to tune distractions out, except us talking to him, can totally disregard things we say directly to him, while acting like he heard us and when confronted, claiming that yes, he heard us but unable to repeat what we said. We've observed unacceptable and disrespectful behavior toward mom, but she lets him get away with it, despite Dad pointing it out. He rarely behaves this way toward us, we believe because he knows we don't allow it, he knows his limits with us. Researching ADHD and seeing him exhibit several symptoms, but conflicting behavior at different times, depending on what he's interested in or not. Don't want to rush him right off to dr. and meds for ADHD, want to try and work more with him at home to see if behavior at school improves. One minute I believe it's ADHD, the next I believe he's just spoiled and being lazy about uninteresting school work. Feeling helpless due to mom's unwillingness to discipline, refusal to consider the possibility of ADHD (is offended at teacher's suggestion), and us only having him limited time and unable to make big difference because of the limited time. Could it be ADHD, or might he just be extremely cleaver and playing the divorce parents game? Any advice will be appreciated!It could be, but a teacher is not a Dr and not qulaified to diagnose, or even suggest ADHD. A comprehensive Psychoeducational evaluation will tell you though.

Age 4 is a little early to diagnose adhd unless it is extreme. Age 6 is a better time to get a more definitive diagnosis. The behaviors could be all of the things you listed. My suggestion is to wait for a year or so. believe me, if the child is adhd the school will let the mother know. In the meantime educate yourself on the subject (I suggest Russell Barkley's book "Taking charge of ADHD") Since you only get the child on the weekends there is not a lot you can do except give him a good structured loving environment at your house. If it is adhd it will not go away and the family can deal with it in the fullness of time when the mother may be more receptive.

Good luck and keep plugging It is well worth it.

Dizfriz

I think you are saying he is 6 right? If so, what grade is he in? How does he manage in school? If school is seeing these behaviors also, I would go ahead and get the neurospych evaluations. It's always more complicated when there's two sets of rules. Hopefully Mom will get on board and you an all work together. If he's "loud" I'd first suggest a hearing test and full physical before anything else. Small hearing impairments often result in misbehavior because the child doesn't always hear what's going on, or doesn't hear enough to comprehend or with lack of information comes to erroneous conclusions about others' expectations.

Also, when there's too much stimulation sound becomes incoherent.

After all the physical possibilities [plus the emotional adjustment ramifications of the child's environment] then I'd start looking at other causes.

Don't overlook the obvious first...
MetisRebel39371.5255439815

Thanks so much for your input! He is 6 years old now, in 1st grade. Teacher has observed lots of not listening, talking while she's talking and trying to talk over her, hyper activity, not completing work assignments in class, more interested in socializing and interacting w/kids than anything else. Teacher has green-yellow-red light system in her class and for the first several weeks of school, he was constantly on either yellow or red. Since we learned about his behavior at parent/teacher conference 2 weeks ago, we have worked very hard with him (constantly telling him how important behavior and green lights are), and now he is green lights about 60% of the time, and yellow the rest -- but no red lights. This makes me think it's not ADHD because of the quick improvement in his behavior. We have also instituted a reward program at home. First, we took away certain privileges for lying to us about his bad behavior at school (he kept telling us he was behaving good and getting no yellow/red lights). Now, we let him earn privileges back, in addition to little rewards (movie, popcorn, bike riding). We've also assigned chores and responsibilities at our house (make bed, clean up toys, set table, dress himself), which he's never had to do with us. We've done everything for him, that's our fault for not wanting our limited time with him to be spent on unfun things. We know we need to make improvements too. I guess I'm just not ready to rush into a diagnosis of ADHD when I've seen such an improvement in so little time. If it were ADHD, chance of improvement would be slim because improvement wouldn't really be in his control, right?

Remember, there is no definitive test for ADHD. Your stepson sounds like a clone of mine. My son was diagnosed with ADHD and TS (another whole issue). Anyway, you are doing the right things. Kids with ADHD can learn to control certain things, so just because a behavior chart is working doesn't mean its not adhd. However, if he is improving, you need to just keep doing what you are doing. Set limits at home and school, praise good behavior, etc.

The family situation does not help these behaviors, but if he knows structure from you and from school, 2 out of 3 is better than no structure at all. Don't necessarily worry about a diagnosis, but treat the problems. When and if problems become bad enough that you need to consider medical intervention, at least you'll know you tried very hard to structure his life and control his symptoms non-medicinally.

Good Luck.

Good suggestion to get his hearing checked, but we already did and his hearing is perfect. If anything, the kid has sonar ears !!!

Oops, saw 6 somehow registered age 4. My goof.

Dizfriz

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That's why I often say "go with the obvious". It sounds to me like something IS improving and whatever you're doing sounds pretty good because he IS responding.

Good for you! Even if he does have something else going on--you've started down the road to some solutions.

It won't be even progress--he's bound to backslide sometimes but you WILL get there

Let us know how you manage over time--it's sounding pretty good!

[QUOTE=stepmom4699]Good suggestion to get his hearing checked, but we already did and his hearing is perfect. If anything, the kid has sonar ears !!![/QUOTE]

Behavior therapy is a good thing - when parents divorce kids are the ones who get confused - 2 households 2 different set of rules. If there isn't consistency in the child's life the bad behavior is more prevalent.
Not that it is any of my business but if your home is more stable - have you considered filing for primary custody? If you see a therapist they may be able to recommend that if it will benefit the child. Just thought
Good suggestion regarding primary custody, it's something we think about every day and know he would benefit greatly from it. Unfortunately, where we live, to take custody away from the mother, you need to prove her unfit and that requires her basically to either abandon or beat the child. The other option is to get the mother to agree to us having primary custody, which she would never do because she uses the child support as her only source of income. Additionally, Dad works afternoons and isn't home in the evening, therefore it would be me (stepmom) raising him and the court would likely never agree to take custody away from the biological mother and give it to a stepmother. So, we do our best to work around that issue and try to get visitation as frequently as possible, which is as frequently as the mother will agree to without feeling threatened that she could lose the child support. Unfortunately, we are at her mercy on the visitation issue.