Dinnertime struggles.... | ADHD Information

[QUOTE=Mother2Austin]Does anyone else struggle at dinner time? Is this a part of the ADHD? My son just can't seem to overcome his fear of eating what is put on the table. He has always been a picky eater and yes I catered to him. He is now almost 6 and I realize this isn't a phase. He literally melts down when I try to get him to eat. I have decided that he will just go hungry until he eats. I don't know what else to do...besides cave and i DO NOT want to do this. [/QUOTE]

Has he been evaluated for an eating disorder? Eating disorders are very common in kids with ADHD.

Good advice from everyone. My ds is very picky as well. Meds make him
hungry in the morning when he gets up and later in the day and bedtime.
During the day he doesn't eat much at all. I refuse to fight over food. I just
tell him that dinner is when it is and the kitchen is closed after a certain
time. He eats lots of protein type bars, yogurt drinks/smoothies, cheese
sticks. You can make a shake for him if he will drink more than eat. I used
to use milk (or soy milk), yogurt, banana/strawberries, etc. Whatever I know
he will eat. This way it's healthy and I know he is getting some nutrition. I
also have him take a multivitamin every day. There are ones he likes are
called NutraStars. They contain some green vegetables in them and have no
preservatives or dyes, etc. I buy them online or you can get them at Whole
Foods.My grandson melts down at dinner if he is too hungry. Then something in
his brain shuts off and he thinks he isn't hungry. We stay on a very rigid
schedule for meal times and also make sure to feed him some fruit (grapes
work wonderfully because you can just pop them in their mouths) about 45
minutes before dinner. Then he sits down and eats with no crying or
screaming.

I think before considering this an "eating disorder" you should try things such as including him in the shopping for groceries and cooking process. I find this helps my child.

I'm not saying he always eats what we fix but it has helped.

I personally feel we can invent problems if we start fixing two or three different meals for every meal. I also feel strongly in trying all available options before starting to diagnose "eating disorders." I'm not one to jump on the band wagon. I weigh all my options before going to the extreme.

My son is almost 6 and he has become a pickier eater and I have been told by our pedi this is perfectly normal. The pedi suggested the idea of allowing our child to help with the meal planning, grocery shopping etc. He is still staying healthy overall. I will say I worked with a nutritionist to find kid friendly foods that provide all the right nutrients. I also think what has helped us, is his being included in making the dinner choices. His buy- in is our saving grace. I usually say we can have this or this and he gets to make the final decision. Hope this makes sense.

Good luck with your battle... I think many of us go through these struggles at one time or another.

Hi,

Everyone has good advice. One thing I would add is if he is on a reward system (marbles or such) give him a reward for one new thing tried every week, every day, or whatever you think is appropriate for your child. Also, the greatest influences on my children's choice of foods is other people (ie, friends or family). For some reason if I ask them to eat it, it must be poison. If my sister or neice asks them, well yum yum!!

Eating new and different foods it tough for many children, not just ADHD kids. Also, my sister gave me the advice of telling your child "you can eat anything on the middle shelf of the refrig or pantry shelf" giving them some control of their choices. Good luck, nothing seems easy.

Does anyone else struggle at dinner time? Is this a part of the ADHD? My son just can't seem to overcome his fear of eating what is put on the table. He has always been a picky eater and yes I catered to him. He is now almost 6 and I realize this isn't a phase. He literally melts down when I try to get him to eat. I have decided that he will just go hungry until he eats. I don't know what else to do...besides cave and i DO NOT want to do this.

food battles have no winner. Dont even have them. Put healthy choices on the table, but let him eat what he'll eat. Try to have things at each meal that you know he'll eat, but again you wont win and it's not worth it.

All kids melt at dinner time. It is the end of the day and filled with frustration...........for them............and us...........

[QUOTE=Diane V]

All kids melt at dinner time. It is the end of the day and filled with frustration...........for them............and us...........

[/QUOTE]

So are saying to give him what I make for dinner but make him what he wants as well?

I would try to make him at least one thing he likes. So if he only eats carrots as a vegetable, I'd try to have at least some of them every night, then whatever else you make. If he only eats carrots, so what. If he eats only cereal, give him some cereal, but have him pick one of the other thigns form what the rest of you are having. Usually when you back off they come around. Even if it takes three months, so what, he'll come around. This is such an issue with SO many kids. The key is let go of the power struggle. forcing him to eat or making him starve will NOT work. Have rules, like I say, dinner is served, if he eats nothing, he gets nothing else. Dont get into a ok you'll starve, or I'm laving this food so if you ask for anything else thats what you get. Just this is what we are having and that is it. Once dinner is cleaned up if you didnt eat, you're not hungry, fine, no snacks. then drop it. He may fight you on it for a few dyas. Dont' fight with him. Just say you decided you were not eating tonight, I'm sorry that was your decision and drop it.

ADHD medication often suppresses appetite, sometimes the kid is simply not hungry. Even with this, the advice by DianeV is pretty much on the spot. The only thing I might add (this is what I did with my adhd child when he was growing up) is to have some healthy foods available like cucumbers, apples, raw vegetables like carrots, etc in case he does really get hungry later. If says he is hungry later then point to the healthy food and tell him to have it. If he doesn't want to eat them then he is not really hungry and gets nothing else. Here he can get all the healthy food he wants but it is food of your choice. This will encourage him to eat supper but if he doesn't want to, he will eat when he gets hungry enough. We often cave in this situation because we feel guilty for not feeding our kid correctly. On this method you make sure he has something healthy to eat when he does become hungry. Clear conscience

The big thing is to not get into a power struggle on this. When supper is over it is over. You have only so much energy. "Pick your battles and make them few" is the best advice I can give the parent of an adhd child. Pick the things that it is worth fighting for and go with these. Try to find a way to work around the others. Trust me they will still be there later and can be dealt with in the fullness of time.

These two variations do work well overall. Pick the way that you feel most comfortable with and go with it. Look for others and pick and choose. Keep in mind that the principle is quite sound.

Do watch for severe appetite suppression however, it can happen with the medications but for the majority of the kids the most you see is simple lessening which can be handled. If this occurs, you need to tough base with your doc.

Good luck and keep plugging.

Dizfriz

My son, now 9, was too small for me to let the food thing go. I had him drink 2 Ensure pluses every day and yes, I totally catered to him. He didn't eat junk but his diet was very limited - chicken nuggets, hot dogs, cheese sticks, waffles and apples for the most part. So I bought organic nuggets and hot dogs without nitrates and let him eat that.

Here's the good news: When he was 8, he started getting interested in more foods. I wouldn't say he's a terribly adventurous eater now, but he's not bad. There is almost no restaurant that we go to (not that we eat out a lot because neither of my kids sit still) where there's not something on the menu that he'll eat. Of course, now he also bugs me for junk food - he discovered all of it at the same time. So don't assume your son will never expand his food selections. In my case, it just needed to come from my son and not me.
Even though he's been evaluated, I believe my son 9, has an eating disorder as well. He is beyond picky and I make 2 meals often. He only eats a handful of things and I try to keep most of them healthy. Like pasts. He will eat that every day. Barrilla Plus has a pasta high in protien and Omega 3's and other good things. He eats that one only now. I give him 2 choices and he gets to pick one. He also knows what healthy snacks are and will eat fruit or granola bars when he is hungry. I am not sure if this is part of the ADHD and not wanting to take time to eat, or an eating disorder of some sort but he is VERY pickiy. You are not alone an this is one battle I have chosen not to fight, I will lose everytime.