50 First Dates??? | ADHD Information

Well with ADHD'ers in your life it's either laugh at the antics or for fast relief--

bang your head against a brick wall until you faint...

The best remedy I've found for ADHD is not a pill, technique etc. it's googling videos on Lee Evans, the comedian with ADHD and watching him operate. He's so speedy and energetic he makes the cocaine-high comedians look like they're on downers.

For kids--the squirrel in "Over the Hedge" is my fav ADHD character

I, too, like the squirrel but I catch myself feeling overwhelmed by him even!!

But, you're right, you do have to find the humor in it or you will go bonkers! I read a lot of your posts and you truly do have a very good attitude towards this. I'm learning, I'm learning!!

You are very right! And coming to this forum, initially, I was worn down and tired but I left RENEWED! Some times it's about venting to someone else so that our loved adhders don't have to deal with that!

If there is one thing I've learned on this forum it's that our kids are loved and we're all just trying to do our best, and when I say 'we're' I mean our kids are, too.

Both of my ADHD boys (big and little) loved this video clip. For me, it was just like watching them.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YXRH50fvHWA

OMGoodness!! How funny and how true! ha ha ha Good laugh to the start of my day!!

Oh yes, I heartily agree!

My son's morning routine works well enough and he gets it right without too much supervision from me now. But he is so slow! I have to hurry him up much of the time and I wake him up much earlier than needed. If I didn't, when its time to leave for school, he would still be getting dressed! And he gets so easily distracted. There was a time where I would have him get dressed outside of his room - fortunately it is much better now.

I do have to remind him each and every day to pack his lunch. This one thing he just cannot remember from one day to the next!

I've entrusted him with taking his own medication and I must say he hasn't forgotten yet (well, I do give it to him and then he only takes it at school). He has lost medication often enough, but at least not forgotten it.

I understand completely about repetition wearing us down. Sometimes I am bone weary and feel luck such a stuck record.

Sigh!

How often do we all dream of a weekend at a spa, or in a log cabin, alone, with a good book?

But somehow, we make it!! I call my son the best teacher I've ever had, and I've had some pretty good ones.

Probably the best advice my wife and I received was to buy books on what is considered normal, age specific behavior. We already had a library on ADHD and tic disorders. It really helped to see the difference and not label everything my son did as ADHD. A lot of stuff is normal, age specific behavior (some notable difference between normal for boys and girls too). Being a parent of a kid that wouldn't be labeled ADHD is challenging too. The difference I found was always related to my son's hyperactivity, inability to focus and impulse control. Kids that would not be labeled as ADHD exhibit some of the same stuff, I think the difference is the degree and whether they can calm down, actually focus to get something done, regain control or not do or say something that just popped into their head.

Oh...and not everyone on this site is a mom. Some of us Dad's do get it and will do anything and everything to help our kids.

cambec39380.450162037ilovemyboys,

I'm glad to hear that you have the morning routine in visual form for him, and using the timer is great, too.

Is there an incentive for him if he finishes his tasks on time? Some people aren't into incentive systems, but they work (frequently, but not always) with my son. I've been rewarding him for getting ready on time (and without reminders from me) for years. His current reward is pretty simple and logical. If he finishes everything and has spare minutes, he gets to play his video game until it's time to go. What's your son's favorite thing to do?

He still has the occasional slow morning, but I do my best to keep all the responsibility on him - no reminders or nagging. He's walked out the door a couple of times with his shoes and cold breakfast in his hands, but I'd rather he do that than to put unnecessary stress on either him or myself at the beginning of the day.

Good luck to you! It sounds like you're already on your way to finding a solution that will work for you and your son!

jade23

What we are finding out is that our poor son IS getting nagged and we are ALL super stressed. My husband and I sat up for quite a while last night just discussing our ADHDer. There is so much guilt for all of the ... well just for everything. Some times we feel like we're just standing with our hands above our heads because we're at a loss. We have a two year old that is just so much easier to take care of and WE feel guilty about it and feel bad that our ADHDer is struggling so much.

I'm going to print off the Marble System, I put it off before because I thought what we were doing was help enough (I can hear the laughter of you, the more experienced ). I appreciate so much the time and effort you all put in here for us 'newbies'. You don't know the relief and reassurance that this site can bring to us when we feel at such a loss and feel so much heart-ache. There are some really good laughs in between and some really good days even, but the lows are the lows, too.

We had his parent/teacher conference for first grade on Thursday. This teacher hasn't let me in on any problems, no notes , no emails, no homework...I went in thinking that his meds had really made an improvement for him. SIKE! She informed me that 'he just can't pay attention' and he 'feeds off the worse children in the class', 'he can be, at times, a destraction'... WHAT? His special reading teacher had nothing but WONDERFUL things to say, so we were dumbfounded. She said he's struggling enough now to make her worry about the next quarter when she 'starts to back off a little and leave them on their own more'. I don't know if you all remember me, specifically, writing in August that I was meeting with his Principal to have him held back in Kindergarten. We just felt he NEEDED to be so he could catch up (he only turned 6 in July). However, his principal felt he needed to move on and said she had the final say so. And now here we are, here's our boy-struggling, once again, to keep up. And here we are trying to scramble, too. It feels like a four year fist fight.

On a good note, he's so creative and artsy and I'm so jealous. I always tell him I wish I could draw like him. And he's got the heart of a saint.

See, I feel better when I end it that way. We have our troubles but he IS so worth it ... we just want a fair chance for him to become everything he deserves and desires to be. Without having to battle everyone to get it.

If I ever meet a parent who has not considering duct taping the kid to the wall some days--I will want to know why Mother Teresa isn't a virgin anymore

Erma Bombeck called this the Mother's Prayer:

"Thank you God, for not letting me kill one of my kids today."

Not only are ADHD'ers frustrated--so are their parents

Good luck--remember there's only one Hannibal Lectur and you're not raising him

"Don't grab your little brothers feet when he's running"

That mental image is priceless! Though I'm sure your younger son would much rather keep his feet under him. And I must admit that my son does the same thing to my daycare kids.

I think the not knowing what day it is thing is related to the time issues a lot of our kids have. My son has not only had trouble remembering what happens on what day, but also before and after, yesterday and tomorrow, etc. Yesterday when he walked in the door from school he actually asked me "is today still Monday?" Huh? Have we ever given the day a new name when it was only half way done? And he's 9.

It does wear you down though. Some mornings are good, other not so much. Just remember to make time for yourself and try to get enough sleep. It's so much harder dealing with the behavior if you're tired.

[QUOTE=jaderock54]

"Don't grab your little brothers feet when he's running"

That line made my day I gotta remember that one.

I also love "Don't run with scissors. You'll poke your eye out."--How come all the kids I grew up with did that all the time but none of them are one-eyed?

That mental image is priceless! Though I'm sure your younger son would much rather keep his feet under him. And I must admit that my son does the same thing to my daycare kids.

Hey I'm 49 [if I remember correctly] and --is it Art class day yet?

[/QUOTE]MetisRebel39378.9369675926

I have a question, you guys! I need to know if it is like this with your ADHD child. Every day is like he's waking up for the first time and doesn't know what to do. He's only 6, so I understand he needs consistency and really try hard to provide it for him.

However, he wakes up to his alarm only on school days and says "do I have school today, Mom?" He asks on Saturdays and on any given day. I also made him a list of fun pictures that tells him step by step what he needs to do in that order,to get ready for school before the bus. For example 1. Make bed fun picture, 2. Get dressed (fun picture) 3. Eat Breakfast (picture)...and we set a timer for him on each step. but I constantly have to re-direct him and feel like every day I'm repeating myself over and over. "Don't grab your little brothers feet when he's running, don't lay on him, get dressed, eat," and so on.

I know this seems minor, especially when I read the trials some of you other wonderful moms are enduring. It's just that I feel worn down some times. I'm so repetetitious and he's so persistent ...we have two other boys, one older and one younger, too.

My husband doesn't get it. He wants me to inform him but he just doesn't get it. Which...I really don't either. I don't know. Just in a funk today, I guess.

There are so many hardships out there and I feel so very truly blessed to have my boys and their health. I just worry about my ADHDer's future. It's scary. I want him to have all the easy paths he can take and some times already he seems to take the hardest route. Ever heard someone say "He has to learn everything the hard way?" We say that about our son, and he's SIX! YIKES!

His impulsiveness and hyperactivity can some times be what makes him so fun! But other times it seems to hinder him from so much. Our older son is actually my step son. He seems so irritated most of the time by him and they used to be close. It's just hard. The small things are hard. I can't imagine the bigger things that are surely to come our way. I'm rambling. I'm sorry. I just want him to see his worth (he gets self-defeated very easily, and I fail him some times too) and I want some of these things to CLICK with him- To make life smoother mainly for him, and for us, too. I'm thankful to have him and will take him just the wonderful way he is. I just wish he had it a little easier.

Just needed some mom chat from moms who will understand. Thanks in advance just for reading!

We have a very similar morning with my 7 year old. He is getting better than last year so I have hopes that with maturity it will be okay. He gets all his days mixed up - I tell him many times whether there is school the next day. He has always gotten tomorrow and yesterday mixed up. He also gets sooner and later mixed up. I don't know if it is an age issue or an adhd issue but it hasn't really bothered us much. Sometimes I have to laugh at him but I try not to laugh out loud.

Even regular (non ADHD) kids have issues. Taking it one day at a time helps me.

good luck,

My son 9, wakes up most days with no idea what day it is or what is going on. We have check off lists for him for each day so he can remember what he has to do. It is like that 50 dates thing, funny kidda, but frustrating other times. Hang in there.

I love how I feel so frustrated and down and then I read the posts back to me and I end up cracking up!

Thank You!!

[QUOTE=MetisRebel]Well with ADHD'ers in your life it's either laugh at the antics or for fast relief--

bang your head against a brick wall until you faint...

I wasn't going to post because I didn't have anything to add but this just made me laugh out loud.

My 14 year old is in a fog all the time. He doesn't know if he's coming or going and time management - forget about it.

Oh, yeah, it's Groundhog's Day every day here. I'm pretty sure that his little sister (6 years younger) will soon be able to do a number of things more quickly than DS can. That'll be frustrating for him. She's advanced, he's immature and ADHD, and soon they will meet in the middle.

joy2 that's where we are at too. Oldest has ADHD, NLD, very immature, younger is quite "on the ball", even though she is 7 years younger, it doesnt seem such a gap. That has actually benefitted us as there's a touch of competition for older daughter without a real threat.......yet anyway. Makes her try even harder.

This thread is so funny, I don't want to get preachy. I just kept thinking to myself, I have to remember:

*when I tell him for the umpteenth time that yes, he has to brush because all people brush their teeth in the morning, at least he can do it himself.

*that if untied laces really bother me so much, I should just buy the slip-on tennies and concede the point. But it's the principle of the thing!!!!

*that unrestrained chatter in the car just means that he's got something to say and can say it. So much better than uninterrupted silence.

*that sometimes the problems his adhd symptoms cause are so much more about how I react to them than about how they affect him. I have to get over myself and lighten up!

Adhd is a tiring battle, but there can be so much humor along the way!

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