Is everything supposed to be hard???? | ADHD Information
((((spoiltmom)))))I know that feeling. It's horrible. The "b" word has come out of my own mouth before, too. You just get so frustrated and don't know what to do. For us, if the meds work, life is great. If the meds don't work, life stinks. Your son might be rebounding in the afternoon or Adderall might be the wrong medication for him. I personally wouldn't trust the medication decision to a pediatrician. Try a child psychologist or neurologist to get a better handle on that since they know the ADHD medications backward and forward.
We have had our son on a behavioral modification plan for 3 or 4 years. We now use the marble system that babygonz mentioned. It's the best reinforcement we've found. Having said that, when he is on the right medication and dose, we almost forget about the behavior plan because he becomes "normal."
Hope things get better for you.
Joy2
Please help me. I'm a stay at home mom to a 12 1/2 month old and a 7 year old that has ADHD. My husband is works long hours and is rarely home so I'm the only here to deal with both the kids. My son was dxed in April and put on Adderall XR 10 mg. At first it worked well but now it wears off by 1:30 every day so his teachers and I are having a much harder time dealing with him. I made him an appt with the pediatrician and his psychologist but in the meantime i'm wondering.... he has other issues also. Such as he's bossy, rude, interrupts and involves himself in adult conversations, acts hateful and cries a lot. Is that a part of the ADHD or just a typical behavior problem?
What can you recommend for me to get him under control?? I'm fed up. He's a little brat and needs to be put in his place. That may sound harsh to you but it's really true. He doesn't listen to anything my dh or I tells him and it's frustrating and really embarassing when you take him out in public. I feel like every hour of every day with him is one big power struggle and I'm feeling defeated lately.
Thanks!
Amanda
Have you tried a different med? Adderall made my ds grumpy and mean.
You need a behavior modification program for your child. He needs
structure and routine. I am sure you are doing all of this already. Hang in
there. Maybe you can both see a child therapist that can help make a plan
for you. My ds saw a therapist for a while about his anxiety. It helped. Your
son may be metabolizing his meds fast. My ds could never take any of the
extended release pills because it only lasted half the time it should have.
Now he is on Daytrana and it is great. It lasts the whole day and you can
take off the patch when you don't need it anymore.
Check out the ogram marble thread about rewards for kids. It is pretty
popular.
I agree that you may want to change meds. All the behaviors you describe can totally be ADHD related and/or med side effects. Either way the med should be addressed. Either increase the dose or change to a different med. We are also using Daytrana fairly successfully. It does take a LONG time to take effect in the mornings, making mornings difficult, but it is very simple and quite flexible by allowing you to remove it. There are many, many med choices though.
You also really need to try to have some time to yourself. Maybe join a gym? You could have the baby go into the babysitting room and take a yoga class? Try to get a sitter so you can have some time to yourself. While your son is in school and the baby is napping every day spend half that nap time FOR YOU. I know, I know how precious that nap time is every day, but think about you at least for part of it.
BTW, I think that these are typical ADHD behaviors -- the impulsivity makes them do things that other people don't do. You are describing my son when unmedicated, except the crying. If your son is like mine, he needs to control his environment which makes him very bossy and demanding. The interrupting is from the impulsivity. The not being able to take him out in public at times is par for the course. My guess is that you will see a big change once you find the right medication or combination of meds.But Enbmom is right -- reward, reward, reward. Every tiny, little thing.
Joy2
repeating what PPs have said...those come with the ADHD territory. As previously asked, have you tried a different med? We went from Adderall to Concerta and WHAT A DIFFERENCE for my DS. For others it the exact opposite. You may need to increase too. Hang in there. I would recommend a behavior chart at home, and/or Magic 1,2,3. that works wonders in my house.
I agree with the mention of the med change. My son was horrible on adderall XR. It made him angry, irritable, depressed, just plain horrible. BUT it wasn't my son, it was the meds.
Yes, my son has ADHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHD, very impulsive and hyper. He is busy and acts young for age.
I bet your son isn't the BxxT you think he is, he is ADHD and needs help. Call the doctor ASAP and talk about trying another med.
Concerta has worked best for my son along with guanfacine, which helps his overstimulation.
I also find that when my son has his meds, he acts his age, however, in the morning, before they kick in, he acts very immature.
Best wishes!!
Dear Spoiltmom:What do you LIKE about this child? Can you list his good traits?
[sometimes we need to remind ourselves on bad days that rainbows don't come out unless it rains]
My husband works away from home so I get the brunt of most of my sons(9) anger and frustration and ADHD'in. It is very frustrating. I agree I wouldn't leave the meds to a ped, a child psychiatrist would be a better option. The meds he is on have been known to cause anger and aggressiveness issues, maybe a change is in order.My son also goes to therapy(play and talk combined) for his anxiety but we have yet to see remarkable results.(it has only been 1 month) We are going to try a new psychiatrist in a couple of weeks and he will give us the named of some therapists who can help us as a family deal with the situation. I am looking forward to it. Good Luck!The going out in public thing is the roughest part sometimes. It seems like every other kid is calm and listening to their parents and then you compare your kid and it makes everything a lot worse. My son is 9 and it's still a problem at times (but it has gotten better). We learned to adjust out schedule so that we didn't go out much in the evenings which is the toughest time of day. At first I resented that but then I figured out that my son really couldn't control his behavior at that time and it was just setting all of us up for failure.
I know it's much easier to day this than to actually do it, but the more positive you are, the more positive your child becomes. I too vote for the marble system because it reminds both you and your child to reward and put everything on a much more positive note. I was the queen of consequences when we first started the system ("if you don't stop interrupting, then you're going to lose TV) and now it's much more positive ("here's a marble for not interrupting me"). I saw a post from another parent that said that you should be rewarding your child for every small thing. Can I tell you how positive the mood gets when I throw in a marble "just because you smiled at me so nicely?" We've been at it for a month and it's getting easier to think that way.
Good luck. Keep reading these boards for support.
I have definitely wrote in here before when I felt at my worst and was sure my son with ADHD felt bad, too! Some days you just want to pull your hair out.
But what I have learned from the people on this forum who've been at this for a while, is to LISTEN to them. 
They offer out some really good advice. What my struggle is - is myself. If we can learn to deal more positively, our kiddos seem to really respond to that. They are used to the yelling and punishment, they've been so misunderstood for so long... But you have to find a REWARD system and a POSITIVE outlet for you and your loved child. You both will walk away feeling like a ton of bricks have been lifted, ONCE you find what works for you. I haven't tried the marble system and currently, I'm headed in that direction. I'm still in the process of finding what works for us, too. And most days I say what you titled your post as "IS EVERYTHING SUPPOSED TO BE HARD!!" and have cried it! But I'm in motion to find our way out of those days! we're their only advocates, you know? It's a hard job, but they are so very worth finding it. Some times, we need to be reminded of that. 
SO, I hope that you try some different things out and find what works for you ... then I hope you write about the awesome days you are having. I hope that for all of us and all of our munchkins!
My son was on Tenex and still had really bad behavior issues - we started the behavior modification which took awhile for them to grasp - rewards really do work for the small things....anyway, after about 3 weeks of giving him the Omegas his teacher said he was like a different boy in class.
All the work we do takes time - sometimes medication can help more quickly if you find the right one(s). Be patient and take yourself to the spa! You deserve it!
((hugs)) It's so hard but you have a lot going for you and you probably don't even realize it. Your son has been diagnosed young, you have a psychologist and a treatment. My son wasn't even diagnosed till recently and now he's 14.
I don't have first hand experience with meds but it is worth looking into a med change. Your son's behaviours definately are ADHD related.
Your son is not a brat; his behaviours are bratty; Believe me - I know what it's like to have a kid that doesn't mind. It's frustrating as all H---. My husband works late hours too and I always get the brunt of the tantrums too.
You do need to take some time for yourself - hard as that may be. I found that out the hard way too.
Do you have any family nearby to watch the kids so you can get out and even just get a manicure and a cup of coffee? Do you have a babysitter? They are hard to find now a days. Even if you can just veg in front of the TV with a cup of hot chocolate or something where you won't be disturbed.
Is there anytime when your husband is home so you can just "escape" and decompress.?
One thing I have learned from this board is that we are all going through the sames things in some degree or another and our kids are special and wonderful. They may be Pains in the you know where but they aren't bad - just have problems that they can't control.