undiagnosed, confused, any exp would help | ADHD Information
rebel,thanks for your reply, it was very helpful.
to clarify regarding the anxiety. i used to date a girl with a diagnosed
anxiety disorder, and she was generally stressed all the time (though her
SSRI meds really helped). sometimes her panic attacks would be
seemingly random, and she couldn't even explain it...
well, in contrast, my anxiety is rarely random. i can usually pinpoint the
cause. it's almost always school related. i relate to people just fine on a
social level... however, even though i can identify the causes of my
stress, i can't stop the effects...
it's like, if i turn in a paper that i know is A quality, i will still be totally
worried about it until i get it back. literally from the moment i begin
working on a project/exam i'm stressing until i get it back from the prof
with a grade.
often times i feel like i'm racing against the clock. i've always been a
procrastinator, but even when i have ample time, i always have this
nagging worry about running over a deadline.
i also get really irritated a lot in class when a prof puts a quote or prompt
on the overhead because i never have enough time to finish reading. at
first, i thought i just had inconsiderate professors, but then i realized
everyone else in the class had finished reading what was on the board.
as for the attention span thing...i used the term improperly because i
guess i wasn't really paying attention. what i really meant was that in one
hour classes, i'd look at my watch and feel ok knowing i'd be out
relatively soon, because i never had to be there for more than an hour.
now, i look at my watch, realize i have two more hours of class, and i feel
a kinda panicked.
eh, i don't know if that all made sense. it's hard to describe how you feel.
i'm not even really sure i know how i feel. i surely appreciate your advice.
~N~graduate student here, 23 year old male. i never thought i might have
adhd until grad school started. in high school it was never a
consideration. my parents aren't oblivious to adhd/add, but they'd refuse
to admit that their child had it, so i totally avoided it back then.
in undergrad i took up cigarettes and pot. they didn't enhance my
academic performance, but they helped me cope with the stress of
school. i always just assumed i had some kind of anxiety problem, but
nothing more.
now that i'm a grad student a few things have changed. school is a lot
more demanding, and classes are all three hours long. i never realized
how short my attention span was until i started taking classes longer than
an hour! i hated being all foggy brained, so i quit pot, and since then i
have had a huge rise in my school-related stress...and no real academic
improvements.
i've also learned recently that i was under quite a few misapprehensions
about adhd/add.
1. i always got good grades in school, so i assumed i couldn't have it...but
i recently learned many undiagnosed adhders get good grades.
2. i found out that anxiety can be symptomatic of adhd/add.
3. i've always felt restless inside, but have always been outwardly one of
the quietest students in grade school...so i assumed i couldn't have it,
until i learned that adhd/add doesn't necessarily mean a person is
running around uncontrollably...
4. i have a college friend with severe adhd. he is very successful with his
meds, and i feel more comfortable talking about this stuff with him than
other ppl.
There are many other things i've noticed recently, but i won't waste your
time with all of them...
so, i've been thinking about this for months, and i don't know if i have
adhd/add. i figure there's no way to know until i go to the doctor, BUT
HERE'S MY PROBLEM, i can't bring myself to get a medical screening/
testing for it. i've been extremely misinformed about adhd/add my whole
life, and if i ever mentioned it to my parents when i was younger, they'd
scold me for even considering the notion.
i've been socialized not to even consider the possibility, so now when i
think of asking the doctor to test me, i'm nervous/apprehensive/scared/a
little ashamed. i know it's not sensible, but i can't help it.
i've been trying to gather the guts to just make the appointment since
september, but haven't gotten there yet...meanwhile, i'm getting good
grades, and even so, i'm still super-stressed about school and i
procrastinate really really bad (i mean, waiting 'til 4 am to start a paper
due at 9) it's just getting to be really difficult, and i know, eventually, my
master's prog. will get hard enough that i won't succeed with these
issues.
really, i'm just posting this in the hopes that other ppl who have relevant
experiences to my situation might give their input. i'm not looking for
answers per se, more just someone who understands and can tell me
about what they may have dealt with being diagnosed as an adult, or any
advice you might have for someone like me.
thanks for reading,
~N~
(Go UVa!) [QUOTE=wahuva]
I'm going to go through this piece by piece to make more sense for both of us
graduate student here, 23 year old male. i never thought i might have
adhd until grad school started. in high school it was never a
consideration. my parents aren't oblivious to adhd/add, but they'd refuse
to admit that their child had it, so i totally avoided it back then.
in undergrad i took up cigarettes and pot. they didn't enhance my
academic performance, but they helped me cope with the stress of
school. i always just assumed i had some kind of anxiety problem, but
nothing more.
Can you describe what that anxiety is about?
now that i'm a grad student a few things have changed. school is a lot
more demanding, and classes are all three hours long. i never realized
how short my attention span was until i started taking classes longer than
an hour!
An hour is actually a loooooong attention span for an unmedicated ADHD'er. I can only work in blocks of 22 minutes and it took years to train myself into that. On a bad day--it's worse!
If you are a smoker--you're likely to be craving after an hour without one.
i hated being all foggy brained, so i quit pot, and since then i
have had a huge rise in my school-related stress...and no real academic
improvements.
i've also learned recently that i was under quite a few misapprehensions
about adhd/add.
1. i always got good grades in school, so i assumed i couldn't have it...but
i recently learned many undiagnosed adhders get good grades.
2. i found out that anxiety can be symptomatic of adhd/add.
3. i've always felt restless inside, but have always been outwardly one of
the quietest students in grade school...so i assumed i couldn't have it,
until i learned that adhd/add doesn't necessarily mean a person is
running around uncontrollably...
4. i have a college friend with severe adhd. he is very successful with his
meds, and i feel more comfortable talking about this stuff with him than
other ppl.
There are many other things i've noticed recently, but i won't waste your
time with all of them...
Those are all true. I suggest strongly you do the following:
Get a full physical work up. Some underlying physical conditions cause inattention symptoms.Consider what has happened in your life during the past year. Any major events?If both of those check out--then get a full scale mental health assessment. Inattention can be caused by many different conditions. Those need to be cleared first. In the case that you have what is called "co-morbid" [horrid word]--another mental condition plus ADHD you need to be aware of that. Anxiety disorders, bi-polar and other conditions can be strongly increased by the use of some stimulant medications.
so, i've been thinking about this for months, and i don't know if i have
adhd/add. i figure there's no way to know until i go to the doctor, BUT
HERE'S MY PROBLEM, i can't bring myself to get a medical screening/
testing for it. i've been extremely misinformed about adhd/add my whole
life, and if i ever mentioned it to my parents when i was younger, they'd
scold me for even considering the notion.
Get the physical first. Not only will it rule out [or in] a physical basis--it might make you more comfortable taking the next step.
I "get" the parent thing. At one point I was seriously frelled [almost unable to move at all] while my father kept saying, "It's your nerves. You should go out for a walk."
You have to live YOUR life. If you find out what's going on and treat it accordingly, when your parents see that you are functioning better they will likely be pleased.
Parents can be scary but deep in their hearts--mostly they want to see you be okay and do well for yourself
i've been socialized not to even consider the possibility, so now when i
think of asking the doctor to test me, i'm nervous/apprehensive/scared/a
little ashamed. i know it's not sensible, but i can't help it.
Those are all perfectly normal fears. Practically everyone here has been through them
i've been trying to gather the guts to just make the appointment since
september, but haven't gotten there yet...meanwhile, i'm getting good
grades, and even so, i'm still super-stressed about school and i
procrastinate really really bad (i mean, waiting 'til 4 am to start a paper
due at 9) it's just getting to be really difficult, and i know, eventually, my
master's prog. will get hard enough that i won't succeed with these
issues.
really, i'm just posting this in the hopes that other ppl who have relevant
experiences to my situation might give their input. i'm not looking for
answers per se, more just someone who understands and can tell me
about what they may have dealt with being diagnosed as an adult, or any
advice you might have for someone like me.
Well, if it's any consolation I'm just waiting for my Dr to get me a full assessment and it scares the H*ll outta me. I've had the ADHD label since I was a kid--it's what else might be under that rock that freaks me out!
I'm twice your age and haven't told my Mom about the assessment yet
thanks for reading,
~N~
(Go UVa!)[/QUOTE]MetisRebel39378.9547453704 [QUOTE=wahuva]rebel,
thanks for your reply, it was very helpful.
to clarify regarding the anxiety. i used to date a girl with a diagnosed
anxiety disorder, and she was generally stressed all the time (though her
SSRI meds really helped). sometimes her panic attacks would be
seemingly random, and she couldn't even explain it...
well, in contrast, my anxiety is rarely random. i can usually pinpoint the
cause. it's almost always school related. i relate to people just fine on a
social level... however, even though i can identify the causes of my
stress, i can't stop the effects...
That's pretty common. The first thing I suggest is researching techniques to try to alleviate some of the anxiety. ADHD or not--you'll still need to know those skills.
This is a pretty anxiety-ridden society at the best of times *sigh*
Also, "anxiety" [unless pathological] is due to concern for the future. Cultures where "destiny" is the prevailing belief system tend to show less symptoms of anxiety.
Ponder that for a bit
it's like, if i turn in a paper that i know is A quality, i will still be totally
worried about it until i get it back. literally from the moment i begin
working on a project/exam i'm stressing until i get it back from the prof
with a grade.
Something to consider--How did you learn NOT to trust your own judgement when you know you're right?
often times i feel like i'm racing against the clock. i've always been a
procrastinator, but even when i have ample time, i always have this
nagging worry about running over a deadline.
i also get really irritated a lot in class when a prof puts a quote or prompt
on the overhead because i never have enough time to finish reading. at
first, i thought i just had inconsiderate professors, but then i realized
everyone else in the class had finished reading what was on the board.
Slow reading isn't necessarily less efficient reading. I had a "slow" buddy that raced ahead of us all because turtling along in her career--she had better work habits and persistence than anyone else I knew.
as for the attention span thing...i used the term improperly because i
guess i wasn't really paying attention. what i really meant was that in one
hour classes, i'd look at my watch and feel ok knowing i'd be out
relatively soon, because i never had to be there for more than an hour.
now, i look at my watch, realize i have two more hours of class, and i feel
a kinda panicked.
Does that make you feel trapped somehow?
eh, i don't know if that all made sense. it's hard to describe how you feel.
i'm not even really sure i know how i feel. i surely appreciate your advice.
You're doing fine describing what's happening for you. Otherwise I wouldn't have the foggiest clue what questions to ask
~N~[/QUOTE]
Hey,
I was dx'ed at 28, a little while after my kid was. I can totally relate to being afraid to visit the doc.
I also got good grades in school. I was always "the smart kid" in my family. My brother has adhd as well (dx'ed when he was 33) but was worse than me as a kid, so he was pretty much written off at a young age. That sounds horrible, but there's no other way to describe it short of writing the book. My younger sister always struggled in school, so my parents saw me as the good student who didn't have to try very hard.
I was being treated for depression and anxiety when my son was dx'ed, started learning about adhd and lightbulbs started going off. My husband insisted that I go tell the doc everything that we'd learned/thought. I was terrified that he was going to laugh at me, or just be generally unhelpful. Instead, he did some more screening- turns out he's very knowledgable about adhd and I was very releived.
So, not to rip off Nike or anything- just do it.