Just when you think it’s safe... | ADHD Information
I agree with Metis, I would rip the teacher a new one, make her think long and hard before she does something like that again.I also agree. I would file an official grievance against this teacher and go after it full tilt. I would go beyond the school and involve the department education. She is a BULLY. She is not a teacher. She crossed the line. I would go after her job. She she should no longer be employed. And I would probably state that outright.
[QUOTE=jade23]...to send your son back to PE class, somebody mucks it up again.In earlier posts, I complained that the PE teachers at my son's school (my place of employment) were mistreating my son. After our 504 meeting and a couple of weeks of successful small-group PE, I thought things were going very well. The male PE teacher had been very helpful, and my son was even voluntarily practicing push-ups so that he could do more of them during his next round of fitness testing.
However, on Thursday, the female PE teacher made a huge mess of things. My son was walking the track slowly with a stick. She yelled at him in close proximity (triggering his Anxiety disorder). When he didn't walk as quickly as she wanted him to walk, she started to PUSH HIM around the track, to which he responded by balling up the fist of one hand into the palm of the other hand. After that, she took him to the office.
This isn't about the kid's anxiety disorder OR his adhd--this is about what the teacher DID.
If I walk up and shove you, I can be charged with assault.
So where does SHE get off shoving the kid? And if someone violates my personal space that way I am likely to have a pretty violent response.
The only thing I'd teach the boy is how to yell, "Hey! Get your hands off me!" at the top of his lungs.
Think about it. Is learning phys ed WORTH being shoved around for? I mean, does this school have any priorities here? It's not like your son was bopping someone's kid and she had to stop him. He was exercising for pete's sake! His world will not come to a halt, and neither will anyone else's if he doesn't pass "jogging 101".
He had a major anxiety attack after school. So, after speaking with the principal and hearing that I would have to wait until Monday for her to look into the matter, I went over her head and send an email to the school counselor and the man in charge of 504s. Of course, the counselor sent a copy of my mail to the principal, and I'm glad she did. I think the principal is starting to understand that this situation is too serious to put off until after the weekend.
I hate having to do this. It would be so nice to be able to say "the PE teacher is picking on my child" and have the principal say "I'll get right on that" and mean it. Last time I came to her with a concern, she brushed it off. This time, she can't because the information has left the building.
My fingers are crossed so hard right now. After the last complaint, she came to me asking inane questions that had been answered in my initial email about the problem. She did this three times, and then, she failed to get back to me with a report of how the problem was handled. Obviously, it wasn't handled.
My son's last school was no picnic, but at least I knew that I could count on the principal to 1. apologize for any wrong-doing that had happened at her school, and 2. get back to me before the end of the day to tell me what would be done to remedy the situation or to ask me what I would like her to do to fix things.
By and large, my son is having a great year. It's sad to think that I may have to pull him out of PE. He needs that group time to help him learn to cope with the symptoms of his Social Phobia.
Has anybody here had to remove their child from PE class?
Thanks for listening,
I'd be going after that teacher large and if she's all they have to offer-yank the poor kid out of PE before they traumatize the poor little fella any further.
If you're in Ontario, make an official complaint. This teacher can be reprimanded or terminated for that behaviour. You can also consider a legal peace bond [meaning she stays away from your son period and the SCHOOL will be forced to make accommodations] because she committed assault on him.
Believe it or not, if this continues, your child may be eligible for victim's compensation and let's see the school wiggle out of that legal quagmire.
jade23
[/QUOTE]MetisRebel39383.565462963
"ditto". That teacher was waaay out of line.
If you have to pull you son out of P.E. There are other ways to build social confidence.
Personally, I think PE or Gym can really mess up kid's confidence, especially if you have a child that does not do well in it.
Thank you for your replies.
It's good to know that I'm not the only person who believes that these people are bullies and need to be reprimanded as such.
I also agree with Metis whole heartedly! That teacher is a bully and has no place around your child. File a grievance! She deserves it. And if he doesn't get PE Oh Well there are other avenues to socialize him.Probably less abusive as well.
Dear Jade23,
That teacher was out of line. Pull your son out of that class. It is not worth the trouble. Life is difficult enough for our children. She is a bullly and your son is probably not the only one she has bullied.
Hooray for sending that email outside of the school. You are demonstrating to the principal that you think this incident is extremely serious. Have the plan put in writing. And, if you are not satisfied with the result take it to the next level.
Find an advocate to go with you to this meeting.
Another option might be to call the ombudsman's office and see if they handle such cases? [are you in Ontario?]Also, if you're in Toronto I know a lawyer who LOVES this stuff.
...to send your son back to PE class, somebody mucks it up again.
In earlier posts, I complained that the PE teachers at my son's school (my place of employment) were mistreating my son. After our 504 meeting and a couple of weeks of successful small-group PE, I thought things were going very well. The male PE teacher had been very helpful, and my son was even voluntarily practicing push-ups so that he could do more of them during his next round of fitness testing.
However, on Thursday, the female PE teacher made a huge mess of things. My son was walking the track slowly with a stick. She yelled at him in close proximity (triggering his Anxiety disorder). When he didn't walk as quickly as she wanted him to walk, she started to PUSH HIM around the track, to which he responded by balling up the fist of one hand into the palm of the other hand. After that, she took him to the office.
He had a major anxiety attack after school. So, after speaking with the principal and hearing that I would have to wait until Monday for her to look into the matter, I went over her head and send an email to the school counselor and the man in charge of 504s. Of course, the counselor sent a copy of my mail to the principal, and I'm glad she did. I think the principal is starting to understand that this situation is too serious to put off until after the weekend.
I hate having to do this. It would be so nice to be able to say "the PE teacher is picking on my child" and have the principal say "I'll get right on that" and mean it. Last time I came to her with a concern, she brushed it off. This time, she can't because the information has left the building.
My fingers are crossed so hard right now. After the last complaint, she came to me asking inane questions that had been answered in my initial email about the problem. She did this three times, and then, she failed to get back to me with a report of how the problem was handled. Obviously, it wasn't handled.
My son's last school was no picnic, but at least I knew that I could count on the principal to 1. apologize for any wrong-doing that had happened at her school, and 2. get back to me before the end of the day to tell me what would be done to remedy the situation or to ask me what I would like her to do to fix things.
By and large, my son is having a great year. It's sad to think that I may have to pull him out of PE. He needs that group time to help him learn to cope with the symptoms of his Social Phobia.
Has anybody here had to remove their child from PE class?
Thanks for listening,
jade23
The principal still hasn't received a report from the PE teacher.
I met with the principal today, and she insinuated that 1. My son was lying/exaggerating about the mistreatment (something he has never done - in fact, he tends to make things sound smaller and less significant than they are), and 2. He and I are over-reacting and making things worse than they need to be. She implied that I am creating unnecessary tension between myself and my coworkers. She also tried too feed me some line about how "We all want what's best for your son."
After our conversation, I felt like I had been punched in the gut. She's not handling the situation. Five days after a report of abuse by a teacher, and she's done nothing but give me the run-around.
I feel completely alone and like my son and I have been labeled "the enemy."
Whether or not I decide to remove him from PE (for his mental and emotional safety, not to appease them), I will pursue this matter. I agree that they should not be allowed to behave this way again, not with anybody's child.
If she was upset by my first outside email, she'll feel really groovy about the one that's going out tonight.
Why?
Can somebody just tell me that?
It's not right that you should pull your kid out because of a teacher messed up! I know it's not your job to do this, but if someone doesn't fight this battle, what kid is she going to treat inappropriately next time? Can you find out if there have been other complaints? Do they do sensitivity training for the teachers in your school?
My kids are certainly not athletes, but they love PE. I think it's important for running around time (helps mine to stay focused later) and for developing gross motor skills and socializing. Your son shouldn't lose out because she was wrong. And how do you explain to him that he's no longer in gym? And how does he explain it to his friends?
This is so lousy because we want to teach our kids to respect authority (especially if they're not natural listeners).
BTW, what did your son think of this teacher before this happened? Is it possible that she can learn how to handle things better? She should know better already, but is it to late for her to come around?
Thank you all for your encouragement.
The PE teacher denied everything, just as before, and the principal said that she wouldn't get into the middle of a "she said, he said" issue. So, I told her I'd find somebody who would get into the middle of it, somebody outside our school. That ball is rolling.
I need to stay strong. I don't know what results I can expect, given that there may be no witnesses to this incident. My son says that there were children outside but that they were heading into the gym and not looking in his direction when he was being pushed. It's a classic bullying scenario. The bully chooses to act out against the victim when they are isolated from their peers so that there will be no witnesses.
I have demanded that this female PE teacher be nowhere near my son and that there be at least one impartial witness present when the male PE teacher talks to my son so that there can be no more discrepancies in the recounting of events.
If I haven't heard back from my contact in the admin offices by tomorrow evening, I'll ask to speak to someone higher up on the chain of command.
Please, send us your most positive thoughts.
The principal's response was pretty insulting. I guess a parent with shaky self-confidence would cave. She's actually trying to make it into your son's fault and your fault. Turning it back on you, trying to manipulate your emotions. I'd be pretty offended, and I would take it to the next level.i'M GLAD YOU ARE ON THE ROLL. I totally get where you are coming from and you need to do what you goota do to keep your kids safe and sane. Thant woman was out of line and now there will be action.
Good for you jade23! You are doing the right thing. The PE teacher is a bully. Is the school one of these "anti bullying" schools? Maybe they should mention getting rid of a major bully who is employed there and being paid by the tax payers!
I agree with metis - they are only concerned for themselves and their pay $$.
Go get'em!!
I love Metis' reply. There are many legal routes here and I wouln't hesitate to use them. I went above my pricipals head and called the superindtendants office and all hell broke loose. Within MINUTES I got a call from the principal from her HOME apologizing and setting up my 504 plan. (My son was not a "problem child" then but he is getting there now,(he's 9).Next week is our IEP meeting and because he test high, I ham being denied further services. I will appeal in writing. Next time I will have and advocate with me. They will ammend the 504 though which helps some, or would if the teacher actually used it.
Anyway here's to say I'm with you and go get em!
The "new one" is addressed to her supervisor and asks for instructions on how to file grievances against the principal, the counselor, and the PE teachers. It also mentions legal charges if the problem is not addressed immediately.I don't feel like they're leaving me any other options.
jade23.
"She also tried too feed me some line about how "We all want what's best for your son."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A school may say that but their first thought is to deny there was an incident and then they try to cover their butts. I've had similar problems but what I've done is confront the teacher in question face to face tell Her/him you know exactly what happen and that you don't expect to ever hear of it happening again. Don't back down, don't show any weakness in you position. Tell them that you don't expect there to be any retaliation of any kind against your child because you have brought this to the principal or the school boards attention. Believe me they wouldn't dare think of treating your child with anything but the respect and consideration he and his condition is due.
Good Luck!
That ALONE is negligent. It takes 1/2 hour to write an incident report. Nail them on that. Ask them bluntly, "Is there some reason it was impossible for you to spend 1/2 hour on a report? Where's the [use exact words] TRANSPARENCY and accountability here?"
I met with the principal today, and she insinuated that 1. My son was lying/exaggerating about the mistreatment (something he has never done - in fact, he tends to make things sound smaller and less significant than they are), and 2. He and I are over-reacting and making things worse than they need to be. She implied that I am creating unnecessary tension between myself and my coworkers. She also tried too feed me some line about how "We all want what's best for your son."
Yeah, yeah bullspit central. What they want is CYA.
After our conversation, I felt like I had been punched in the gut. She's not handling the situation. Five days after a report of abuse by a teacher, and she's done nothing but give me the run-around.
Her union problem is her union problem--not yours. Make it clear to them that they cannot touch your son without his permission. Ever.
I feel completely alone and like my son and I have been labeled "the enemy."
You aren't alone in this. So many parents here have been through it. H*ll, I had a principal tell me that three boys who sexually assaulted my foster kid were not to blame--her and her girlfriend were at fault for drinking from the basement fountain. Can we say 'watch MR go nova'?
Whether or not I decide to remove him from PE (for his mental and emotional safety, not to appease them), I will pursue this matter. I agree that they should not be allowed to behave this way again, not with anybody's child.
If she was upset by my first outside email, she'll feel really groovy about the one that's going out tonight.
What's in the new one?
Why?
Can somebody just tell me that?
You know why. Their interest isn't in your son--it's in protecting their paycheques. So hit them in the wallet.
You go get 'em lion mom!
[/QUOTE]MetisRebel39385.8121180556
jade23
Our thoughts and prayers are with you. You are doing the right thing.