i have no idea | ADHD Information

A good psychiatrist will figure things out.  Don't expect a 3rd grader to tell a Dr. "how he feels".  I have a 14 year old who thinks he can pull the wool over his Dr.'s eyes too.

Who is the Dr. prescribing the meds?  Show the teacher reports to this Dr. and describe your son's behaviour and let the professionals help.

Keep searching until you find a therapist who can help you.

Have you spoken with the school psychologist?

his reg dr is giving the meds, around here there aren't any good psych. the school is fighting me so badly. the drs at the childrens hospital want him to see a ped. endocrinologist partly because of him not growing. i just can't believe how around a dr type he'll stretch things and twist things,they also said he has anxiety and depression. i'm so lost.Having worked with a number of psychs it would take someone a lot smarter and cagier than any 8 year old to bullspit them with a good story.

It's most likely that the psych is building the relationship on trust and using his/her skill to cut resistance. If the psych starts in on the kid immediately--s/he's not going to get anywhere. Some psychs can be quite non-committal in their responses which I'm sure makes a parent feel as if they aren't being supported.

I doubt the psychs don't believe what you and the school are saying. It's more likely they're taking their time to build a relationship with the child and observing so they can make better choices, later.
well i have no more ideas for what to do to get my son somewhat straightened out. first i'll go into the letter his 3rd grade teacher wrote about a typical school day-he figets with his face,and desk instead of paying attention to the teacher,breaks pencils and erasers into tiny pieces,picks his nose alot,and plays with his spit. I took him to the childrens hospital because he is very small 8 and weighs 45 lbs,and his fine motor skills are regressing they said he's about 5yrs old with fine motor. but when he sees drs or psych. he acts like an angel,i told why don't you tell the drs how you feel or the way you act out,he said i can't tell them the truth. and they all look at me,if i did'nt have 3 teacher's letters showing how he is at school i don't think anyone would believe me. i just have no idea what to do. by the way he takes adderall xr 15 and tenex 1mg which i don't see the tenex doing anything.What is the school doing?  Do they have socialization groups to help kids learn social skills?  What are they doing to help him in the classroom?  Complaining teachers don't accomplish anything - their obligation is to help your kid!! 

Who is observing the classroom behavior? What teachers? The school psychologist? 

What is the school fighting you about? 
he goes to the endo in nov,just to see. his weight is the 5th percentile. i really don't know why the school is fighting me,you'd think they want the same as i do,my son to suceed in school.they did a gei last year but would'nt let me see it,when this year i finally got to know what it was,it was geared toward behavior,which is fine but i'm very concerned that he can't write. so they kept playing we can do this and that game but never did anything to help his writing,and he's getting f's when technically to him his work is right but since the teacher can't read it,they give him f's. i've told him that they way he acts at school and things he does will make the kids not want to be his friends,but he acts like that does'nt sink in. he argues about everything, he torments my daughter and if he's not making her cry he'll verbally put her down, its the same thing he does with the dog,he'll pet her nicely one day and the next he's either choking or kicking her. even one to one he does'nt do well with kids,when he was younger he was too clingy now he's upsetting to children.well just a little info on what i mean,when we went to the children's hospital he was seen by the psychologist there and when we were getting done,they were lecturing me on how special he is and how i should do more with him. even though he just got done playing baseball which i took him to every game and practice. josh is one of those kids who has the world but to him he has nothing,he's got a million dollars worth of toys and video games yet when you hear him he's got nothing. but he's got no friends at school because of the gross things he does,thats how the teacher put it. i just feel like hey why is no one listening to me. another example when we went to the childrens hospital they asked me about josh getting along with other kids and i told them several times he does'nt play well with other kids,too controlling and if he does'nt feel like they are doing what he wants he'll stomp off and cry and torment the kid,but a suggestion they made was to have josh be a mentor to kindergarten kids,gee's did'nt you people hear me about how he does with kids.i'm sorry i'm just venting. [QUOTE=joshsmom]well just a little info on what i mean,when we went to the children's hospital he was seen by the psychologist there and when we were getting done,they were lecturing me on how special he is and how i should do more with him. even though he just got done playing baseball which i took him to every game and practice. josh is one of those kids who has the world but to him he has nothing,he's got a million dollars worth of toys and video games yet when you hear him he's got nothing. but he's got no friends at school because of the gross things he does,thats how the teacher put it. i just feel like hey why is no one listening to me. another example when we went to the childrens hospital they asked me about josh getting along with other kids and i told them several times he does'nt play well with other kids,too controlling and if he does'nt feel like they are doing what he wants he'll stomp off and cry and torment the kid,but a suggestion they made was to have josh be a mentor to kindergarten kids,gee's did'nt you people hear me about how he does with kids.i'm sorry i'm just venting.[/QUOTE]

They may not be listening.

Or then, Josh may be "acting behaved" in front of them which is why they suggested he be a mentor.

It sounds like Josh has some bullying behaviours that have to be put to rest as well before he "mentors" anyone.

Or, maybe they thought if he had some responsibility he'd come around.

I suggest that when they come up with one of these ideas you "smoke 'em out". ASK why they think their suggestion is valuable. Eg: "What are you hoping to accomplish with Josh by having him mentor other kids?"

They should be able to justify their suggestions on sound psychological principals and you certainly have every right to ask!

If it blows up in their face you can always add, "Gee I think I tried to tell you that already" [doh!]

Again I must add that it sounds to me like they're building Josh's trust and it may be too early in the relationship for heavy confrontation with him. Don't underestimate how good a bullcrap detector one gets in the psych biz. Knowing someone is lying is valuable. Figuring out WHY they lie is even more valuable, therapeutically. I used to argue that one with newbies all the time that got piffed when clients didn't tell them the truth. I knew full well when one lied--it's WHY they lied I tried to work out. When I got that figured out--then I could motivate them towards truth and that takes a long, long time. My sense would be that they are still working through the relationship with you, as well.

When one works with families, the idea is to see the dynamics between individuals and how they relate--that too, takes time. How long have you both been going?

What are your favorite of Josh's qualities?
MetisRebel39384.8325810185

joshsmom,

It sounds like your son is very intelligent.  I have a nephew, 17 who has been to counselors several times since he was 4 years old.  Each Dr diagnosed him with ADHD with anxiety and depression. He tested to be exrtemely intelligent, he attempted to manipulate the Drs and his parents and when they didn't fall for his tricks he became very angry and aggressive, he'd throw things and even spit on the Dr.  His mother decided she didn't want to upset him and let him have his way and discontinued any attempt at getting him help.  He always had feelings of isolation, he was the youngest member of our very large family his next oldest cousin, my son was 5 yrs older.  He didn't have any friends till he was in highschool, then the caliber of those friends left a great deal to be desired.  Now we know he's been self-medicating with cigarettes, alcohol, marijuana and xanax.

I wanted you to know this story because I believe the Drs know when the wools being pulled over their eyes and if he continues to see them his true behavior will emerge and they will be able to determine the path best suited for him.  My sister and brother-in-law just gave-in and gave-up.  Please don't give up trying to get him help, maybe the school district can suggest a counselor for him.  You are not an isolated incidence, they should be able to direct you to some quality medical help especially since they are the ones making the suggestions.

1.  I would definately take him to the endocronologist.  What do you have to lose?  I took my son to a pediatric endroconologist affiliated with the Boston Children's hospital because his pediatrican didn't feel he was growing. Guess what - my son is normal for him - combo of lousy genetics - I'm 4'11", mom is 4'10" - dad is only 5'6" and a picture of my family tree shows no one over 5'6"

To also set your mind at ease - my son has slower than normal bone growth and hasn't hit full blown puberty yet - a good thing.  They do not give growth hormones unless the child has hit puberty - usually. 

Now I know your son is much younger than mine but wouldn't it be better to ease your mind that nothing is wrong or, if there is a problem, address it now?

2.  I agree with Metisrebel - the psychologist is probably trying to establish a relationship.  I see that now because that is what my son's Dr. is doing. I'm sure this Dr., knows full well my son is lying  - he better - he has a PHD and a medical Degree  Your son isn't the first case they have seen and he won't be the last. It's frustrating, I know - believe me. What I do is keep my Dr. updated.  I let him know what the teachers say.  My son is now going on weekly progress reports and he sees the Dr. weekly so I think my son will have a hard time lying (although he'll try)

Believe me, I was jumping out of my skin when last week the Dr. told me what my son's "plan" was. I wanted to say, "he won't do it, he'll tell you anything you want to hear but he will still sit in school all day and do nothing."  I kept my mouth shut. I have a feeling the Dr. knows this already. He'll know soon enough when he sees the weekly progress reports.

Does your son realize he doesn't have friends because of his behaviour?  Does he even understand consequences?  Does he have at least one friend?  Does he play well with other children on a one to one basis?

Do you have a Dr. that you can ask for a new referral for a different psychologist or psychiatrist?  That is assuming you really don't think you have a good fit.

Why is the school fighting you? 

Hang in there.  There are days when I just vent and vent and other days I just come here and read other's posts and look for positive things.