I agree with all of the above.
Start the evaluation - good luck
Sorry this is long, but it's been eating at me and this is the final discussion before I do something.
I've got ADD, and it runs in my family (my dad and aunt, both fairly old, and old fashioned but they'll readily admit it after all these years). My youngest son has been having issues in school since kindergarten. He had problems writing (forming letters, doing reversals, b,d, 3,5, etc.). Each year I'd meet with the teacher and we'd talk about it. Each year I'd suggest he be held back and they always said no. I thought he was too young. They said no, he'd be bored, then he'd be traumatized, etc. Two years ago, 2nd grade, we had an SRT and they suggested I take him to the pediatrician and see what she thought. He kicked butt with her, spelling everything right and writing just fine. She said he was fine (perfect, was her word) but that she could recommend an OT person for the writing. I went back to the school with this and her recommendation that they, the school, test him. They said they didn't test. Now, I'm a teacher (though now I teach college) so I should have known better. I let it go. Last year, another SRT, and they admit I was misinformed, he could be tested. They said they could do it over the summer but he wouldn't be familiar with those testing him. I said we could wait. This year rolls around and no testing. I arrange for another SRT and am told that they will work with him and his writing by using special paper, etc. No testing. If I want him tested I need to write a letter to the principal. They asked if I thought he might be gifted and so not really being engaged. Good point, but how do you know if you don't test him? They don't think he's got huge problems, enough to warrant testing, apparently, but they do say there's something not right.
Now, I'm medicated and my husband agrees it's been helpful. He doesn't think kids should be. He was shocked, however, to see what Connor's work looks like sometimes. My mother-in-law and sister-in-law used LAZY and I nearly took off their heads. If you've been there, you understand. I talked to my doctor who said he'd see him and that looking at the family history, a trial of meds would be a good start. I told him I'd think about it. My aunt, a special ed teacher for 35 years, said I need to fight for him, and not wait any longer. I know this but I don't know which way is best.
He's not a behavioral problem (nor was I), and his reading is in the advanced level. Verbally, he's a power-house in terms of vocab and output (we're a chatty bunch). He will not write, though, and math's becoming an issue. They say he's great with his peers but he came home last Friday, crying, saying he had no friends. He also was upset because the AT kids were going on a trip and I think he feels left out. I see me in him, and know how he feels. I don't want him to go through what I did, but I don't really know if it's the same. My family (not my husband or his side) thinks he needs help. Mind you, my dad's pushing 80 and my aunt's right behind him (oh the piles and lost things...). They bought me a book about ADD (Driven to Distraction) a year ago (before I was officially diagnosed), seeing that it was me (and deciding it was finally time to do something) and forgot to give it to me. They knew but didn't get to me in time and they don't want me to do the same for Connor. I know he needs something. Is the doctor the best route or do I waste my time fighting the school? I don't want to seem pushy, and I don't want him to feel uncomfortable, but I need to do something. So, if you've read all this and have any suggestions, been through something similar, let me have them because I'd like to start this week with a definitive game plan.
Forget about feeling pushy, there is NO other way with the schools. I'm not big on school bashing, I do feel MOST teachers and schools want to help. Before I get beat up for that, yes there are exceptions. Most school's have their hands tied with politics and redtape. Most teachers hands are "tied" with how much they can do and how much they can "say" to the parent.
IMO, request an evaluation. Address the letter to the special ed coordinator for the school (call and get their name). CC, the principal, the teacher and the SPED director the whole district. Either overnight it with return receipt and hand delicer and request the letter be date stamped by the school secretary and ask for a copy of the date stamped letter for your records (IMO this will make a better impact and you'll look smart and educated about the system and they'll move quicker). If you're pleasant about it, they wont be able to take offense.
In your letter describe, in detail, your concerns and his areas of weakness. Include everything. The only way you'll find out if he has nay kind of learning disability is by testing, not guessing or trying out meds. He can be very smart, even gifted, and still have a learning disablity. 3rd grade is the "turnover year". If they have LD's this is when it becomes apparant. Espeically in advanced readers. The first 2 grades are mainly focused on reading and learning to read, after that there's a shift and more conceptual math and abstract learning, plus they are now reading to learn, not learning to read and LD's will start to impact. Why medicate without a solid ADHD diagnosis? Plus if you medicate school will relate it all to that and not even think about other potential LD's. If you have copies of progress reports and/or report cards, emails, anything that dicsusses his struggles, include them. Documentation is power! Save everyting, and write everything down. Good luck, dont wait. They have 60 school days to evaluate after the formal request, that is a LONG time.
<<<I talked to my doctor who said he'd see him and that looking at the family history, a trial of meds would be a good start.>>>
You need a comprehensive Psychological eval before a trial of meds. MEDS DO NOT diagnose ADHD,. an evaluation does.
I agree, go to the school Monday and hand them your written request for an evaluation. Start the process ASAP!!
Best wishes!!
I agree with Diane V. It is time to do something positive towards making his life easier. The school systems can be rough in dealing with them so you have to be diligent. Put EVERYTHING in writing. And keep a copy. Get him tested. You may find out he is gifted and bored in the mainstream class but also has ADHD and needs some help in certain areas(we only need it in writing and social areas.)
Good Luck to you and write those letters.