Am I bad?? | ADHD Information

Oh Yes - Completely understand your feelings. 

We all are developing and growing and changing, even at 60.  Take heart, you are trying to be a better person, and you will be.  Learn to forgive yourself too.

And I am the same - unmedicated passionate woman, full of impulsive, crazy thoughts, that by habit now I always run by my straight as a line Husband, I get frustrated by what I consider his negatism, but Not once in the 5 years of our marriage have I done a stupid thing.

Perhaps you should tell your man Everything that runs through your head, including how you have these wild impulsive feelings of having an affair.  Hopefully he willl love you enough to help you get through those feelings and you will love him even more.

You sound like you are in your 20's - Are you.

Any ways - PM me my Aussie Mate and I am happy to be an ear for you!

Rae

Rae7038318.7923958333No nut, you're not a  bad person.  I'm a 23 year old with adhd.  I've lived a very long, weird, and confusing life up to this point, and I know how you feel.  But you shouldn't use adhd/add as an excuse for cheating.  I've had a very difficult time in relationships, despite being good looking, intelligent, sincere.  (don't want to gloat).  Honestly, I've been very sincere in my relationships, and I've still had a lot of problems due to my personality.  I think that you would be happier if you found someone that will accept you for you.  If the person you're with now (and have cheated on) isn't right for you, it's best to move on and not blame add.

Lynchy mate, I really respect you,..because you tell it like it is

I wrote a great reply, but then somehow lost it, and I am too fed up to try to rewrite the prose, because it took me ages to organise and write in the first place.

Nevertheless, I shall endeavour to respond, as I agree with your synopsis, but am at variance with your evaluation.

I am also attractive, intelligent and sincere,   but I simply cannot maintain a relationship. I have lost count at the people who swear their undying love, and confess their yearning to take care of me (all a load of bull). Nope, two years is my max.

My partner knows my track record, and accepts me as I am. We have a stimulating, sharing relationship, we communicate, I do not fantasise about affairs.

Off meds, I am the person evryone loves, the full-on energetic thrill seeker (..til I burn out!!)

On meds, I would never have been high as a kite...it would have never happened; and I don't know why it did.

See, the person who I am letting down is myself.

That's hard to live with.

 

Well - only you has the power to change You, I have heaps of ADHD in my family and Heaps of abnormal goings on.  But as we have all gotten older, everyone is learning by their mistakes and starting to act more civilised.

I dont think you really want to change Nuts, I think you get too OFF on your thrill seeking.  You are addicted to it.

I am not trying to be insulting, but honestly, I believe that.

However, I could be very wrong, but it is the impression you give in what you write.

Rae, I am still the over excitable child I was before I was seven.

Now I am a middleaged woman who for the most part leads a 'regular' life. I do my duties, have my responsibilities and make myself availible to others. I don't drink, have never done drugs (never felt the need), and I work and play hard (til I burn out!!).

I have used my boundless energy as a gift (it is), and though I have messed up so many times on the way, this experience has made me understanding and accepting of everyone I meet.

But my body is packing up (knees). Years of running (I am an accomplished athlete and recognised coach) has taken it's toll. I used the sport as a way of keeping things steady...an outlet for mind and excess physical energy. relieving those subjective feelings of restlessness which ADDers experience.

Yes, likely that  I am an addict ...(ironically, it has been the secret of my sucess/ and fits the ADD schema well) I am afraid that if I can't run or dance, where will I find the endorphines??  Meds slow me down. But after a time on meds, I feel flat, and dull, my thought patterns are slow and limited, and I feel a lesser person.

My partner says he doesn't want me to change (go on meds)he loves me as I am.......but presently I am having trouble containing myself (Ms Grouch at the moment).... a new project will come up soon,which will absorb me for a short time...  

Nuts, you're not a bad person because you have ADD.  If that was true, we'd all be bad people, and that simply isn't the case.  I think Lynch has a point about drawing the line between irresponsibility and ADD: one does not imply the other.  You have to make the decision to take control of your actions, whether they're influenced by ADD or not.  The trick for people with ADD is that it's harder to take control of our wild and woolly lives, but the good news is that it's possible.  Meds help, as do books, post-it notes, and friends.

The thing is that, whatever you do, you've got to do it for yourself.

I love the way you guys don't back off!! (do I detect a little ODD??)

Yep, we all need boundaries....self imposed or otherwise.

There is absolutely no excuse for impulsive behaviour. No justification whatsoever.

yup - we are strait shooters here .  We can give it and we can take it - tough bunch really 

 

 I love you all - you're terrific!!!!

 I know I am AD, but having it makes me a sad.

I try so hard to be the person i want to be...just a good person.

I can't accept that i am AD; it makes me bad.

In search of the thrill, I neglect the people I love.

I am very intelligent and articulate   - tertiary educated (and ironically successful) . I have had a myriad of jobs, because i bore so easily.

Most people find me attractive, because of my fire, my energy.

And yet I feel a failure.

I walk away from people because past experience tells me that they won't accept me as I am...they can't undertand my forgetfulness, my inability to recognise time,(I don't care about them), my unreliability.

These are all people I love, they are my family/friends, and I feel a let down to them all.

I know they judge me; because I judge myself. As unreliable, unfocused, disinterested and lacking challenge.

I have never allowed myself to get close to a man...fear of rejection.

For the past two years I have had a relationship with someone who is my sole-mate. And I have cheated on him. Not once(which I told him about), but twice.

I knew what I was doing..and did it anyway. just for the thrill.

I hate myself for what I have done. He doesn't deserve it, and I don't think he needs that pain.

It wouldn't have happened if I were on meds.I know right from wrong.

I hate being ADD. I hate having to take meds to be in control of me.

And I miss the passion when I am on them.