medication | ADHD Information

Our 9 yo son sounds a lot like yours. He's very bright, testing grades above his level in nearly all subjects. He scores in the 99th percentile in his state testing. BUT...all he wants to do in school is sit at his desk and read or draw. The teacher told me,"It's crazy that I have to discourage a child from reading, but he wouldn't hear any directions if I didn't." We tried all the alternatives for many months:omega-3,6, diet change, behavior mod techniques, reward programs, etc. All worked to a point for a while, except the diet change which did nothing. We were staunchly against meds, and I even homeschooled for a while to get him out of a situation where he felt like he was always doing something wrong. His self-esteem was in the dumper, no friends called because their moms had heard him getting reprimanded at school, and he was alone. SO, in a decision that could never be said to have been made lightly, we decided to try a med. Adderall XR, not good. We settled on a low dose of FocalinXR, and he's been doing great. He's still doing great academically, but now he's plugged in to what's going on in class. I've asked him if he feels a difference between taking or not taking the meds and he says no. Once he said he didn't want to take them because they make him feel like he's different from everyone else, because he takes them. I asked if anyone else at school takes them and he said no. I asked how he knew. He wasn't sure. So I told him that you can't tell what a person takes, how they learn, if they have a disorder, or even if they just like school just by looking at them. No one at school knows what he takes just by looking at him. That satisfied him and he's never said anything about the meds again.

Deciding to give meds is a big decision, one most of us agonize over for many months. The thing is, when you have a kid with ADHD, you don't get a quick fix-and-forget-it answer, and meds can't be used that way. But they can help a child who is suffering socially, as they do my son.

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Unfortunately, unlike your son, my son doesn't test well, when he even agrees to take the test, that is . He either stops in the middle, or doesn't start in time or refuses to read directions and makes mistakes because he is not doing what he was asked for!! So his "brilliance" is shown only when he is interested in the subject, which is almost never in school.... But he also has no close friends, nobody calls us asking for playdates. Last year he was very much affected by this luck of social success, he thought it was because we do not let him watch TV unlike everyone else and he only reads, which make him weird. This year, it seems, he went deeper into "imaginary" world of books and video games (he is allowed to play a set amount of hours during the weekend). I do not know what is worse....

Just agonizing....

[QUOTE=mrose]

My 8 -year old has been just diagnosed with ADD (classic ...) and everyone we speak to tells to medicate him. My husb. and I refuse too- he is a bright kid, excellent reader, but awful at following directions at school. He almost always forgets (or avaoids) bringing his homework home, never completes and almost never starts his tests and even never bothers to turn his homework in. All he does in school is sits and reads fiction novells. The school is on top of us and him. Is there anyone who doesn't medicate their ADD child and has a good story to tell?

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It's probably a more difficult decision for you because he is functioning at such a high level. I resisted medication for a few years before my husband pointed out that HE wished HE had been able to take Ritalin as a child and be "normal" (he is a truly brilliant ADHD adult). Our son literally can not function without the medications but functions at a fairly high level with them, so it is an obvious choice for us. Without the medications he is the "weird" kid who irritates the other kids, can't finish a worksheet in 2 hours and hits his sister just for a reaction. With the medications, he is creative, curious, able to do a project and carry on a conversation. He becomes a person we can live with without constant draining chaos.

What I have learned from this forum is that the medication decision is more difficult for the parents whose kids teeter between ADHD and normalcy, like your obviously gifted son. He may do well at a school that is more hands-on or more challenging. He may not have ADHD at all but may simply be bored. Did you notice this behavior at home or did the school bring it up? You may have other options just because he is so far ahead and can obviously focus on reading already.

Thanks a lot for responding! I understand that I am taking a very hard road and some days I wish I would medicate him! We are looking for a different school, a little more atristic that would suit him better. I have read some literature about ADHD and still hope that setting clear limits will eventially bring some positive results. I understand that you have to work on some behavior modification anyway with or without the drugs. But I do believe in child's integrity and that messing with the brain (which still is a Big Unknown), specially at 8 years old, is not something that can be taken lightly. On the other hand, his self-esteem is being affected when everyine is always displeased with him and just being on top of him all the time is excrutiating and takes enourmous toll on everyone! I never tried marble system, but I am afraid it's not going to be material enough for him, he may respond to coins better... Did anyone tried points system?

We use the marble system and each marble is worth 10 cents so they have a monetary value. The marbles can be exchanged for tv or game time, extra time up late or cash. They are also used for allowance here and 30% goes into their college fund. You can use marbles, points or tickets as works for you.

We explained to the kids that when we work, we get paid. We get paid in cash and benefits (vacation time, etc). Their job is to do thier best in school and grow up to be good people. They get paid for this job just as the adults get paid for our jobs.

You might look into a IEP or 504 plan at school to help with accomodations and a school behaviour plan. My youngest used to have a form for each day at school (this was before we knew much about behavior plans). There were up to 5 points posible (turn in homework, do classwork, etc) and the teacher filled it out each day. There was an evening reward for each day she got 5 or 6 points and if she got this for 4 or 5 days during the week, there was a weekend bonus. Also the IEP teacher made an organized binder with pockets for each subject and incomplete and complete pockets for the work. We were also given a set of books for home.

All of this made things better, but the poor grades (she could not spell or write an assignment) ruined my daughter's self esteem. We added meds and continued to apply everything else and now she gets good grades, makes friends and is happy.

Everyone has a different approach that is best for thier situation. The manner in which we did things (though not planned that way) ended up with us knowing what benefit each thing we did (behavior plan, IEP meds) had because they started in a sequential manner. Because of this, we do not second guess what is needed and not. This is just what worked for us.

I've used coins and points. Soemthing tangible works better so I'd go with coins. My neighbor uses pennies (her daughter is 6) and at the end fo each week she can buy something out of their "bag of mysteries" or she can save pennies to buy things like having a friend over for dinner or something like that. It's working magically for them.I have a 9 year old son who is unmedicated not by my choice but his. We agonized for months over putting him on medication. Tryed all the diets and supplements and after months saw no change 2 weeks with meds and he was a different boy, but good different. He was happier and did better in school and with friends, but HE decided he didn't want them so we are un medicated at this time. We use a token system where each token is worth money of tv and video time, or other things he can buy. It seems to work out well most of the time. I do wish he would take his meds but one day he may change his mind.

My youngest originally took her meds because we wanted her to. She now takes them because she has a better day with them. For her school is easy on meds and she has friends that had avoided her in the past. Other kids now listen to her ideas and are enthusiastic about them in class. Before, she talked too fast and disjointed for others to follow and was considered weird.

spamula - The need to take meds can make a person feel so different and isolated from his/her peers. Children lack the maturity to see that the differences, not the similarities, are what make life interesting. Also for kids difference can lead to isolation and teasing. Needing meds can make them feel like there is something wrong with them and by not taking meds, they can pretend that they are just like everyone else. Any side effects from the meds can then be a deal breaker and really add to the resistance to take meds. This happens to kids who take insulin for diabetes and asthma meds as well. I worked in a hospital many years ago and we had teens that would quit taking thier insulin out of frustration and eat like thier friends until they were hospitalized with blood glucose levels well above 600. They could not understand the long term damage caused to thier organs by the poor glucose control and just wanted to be like thier peers at any cost. Just some rambling, I fully understand how hard it is when they do not want to take meds.

Just wanted to say Hi and Welcome!

I do medicate my son, so I can't really give you an answer, but you might want to check out the alternatives section here for info about omega-3s, magnesium, and other supplements that can be helpful.

What are you doing as far as treatment? The marble system (see the thread at the top of this board) is great for positive reinforcement.

Hi mrose,
We have not used medication for my daughter so far, but her issues in school were/are not as severe as what you've described with your son.
My daughter is taking some supplements (omega 3s, phosphatidyl serine, and a multivitamin) and I believe these are helping her. You can find more information on these in the Alternative and Complementary Medicine forum. My daughter also has a 504 plan and she is attending an arts-oriented charter school that is a good fit for her. All these things, I believe, are helping her succeed. There is not a magic cure, though. She still struggles with homework and organization. Some days are better than others, and overall we are happy with how she is doing.
If I were you I would not completely rule out medication. Every child's situation is unique. If I were you, I would do a lot of reading and collect as much information as possible. It's confusing, but gradually you will figure out what makes sense to you and what you think will work for your son. You don't want to leave him in a situation where he is failing and having continual negative experiences with school. The goal, I think, is for him to be able to make the most of all his gifts.
Good luck!

mrose, welcome. I havea 13 year old daughter with mainly inattentive ADHD. She is the worst for organization. She has gotten much better with homework after YEARS of working on it, lots of support. We do use medication so I cant give you a success story without, but with the use of medication and lots of support from us and school, she is getting by.

Keep reading and researching. There are people who care successful without using prescription meds. Alos many people will just go as long as they can and then use meds when the time is right. Only you and your family can know what is the best choice for you.

MRose,

I don't think that any of us who are medicating their children wanted to go that route. We all balked. Some of the alternatives really help those with milder cases of adhd.

But, meds aren't such a bad thing. If your child had to hold his book to his nose to read and needed glasses, would you deny him/her the glasses because he/she can read fine?

Most of the adhd meds are stims. They are in and out of the body within the prescribed dosage time. All it would cost you is the price of a prescription and 24 hrs to see if they would help your child. If not, then research the alternatives.

I discovered that I was adhd when I was in my early 50's. And, then ,only after discovering that my gs is adhhhhhd. It explained soooo much to me. Personally,I wish that I had been dxed as a child and given the choice of meds. Life would have been much easier....

Mrose - I'm like granny fran. I'm 49 and wish someone would have given me the little pill that would have helped me through the tuff years in school. I too was a great reader, intelligent, and artistic. My grades didn't show it. There were no special classes or programs so the teachers pushed me thru or I slept thru and had perfect attendance so I never had to take a final exam. I can only imagine how much more of a productive member of society I could have become, if only....

Medication is not necessarily the evil thing some make it out to be. If alternative is your choice and they work great but I hate to say it but all medications started out as natural alternatives at some stage.