I’m losing it | ADHD Information

Yes, I can say I have said that before. And I felt horrible. I try to calm down and think this is a disorder he can't help, and he can't control all his actions.  Maybe alot of stress has been building up and this just topped it off for you. I think some me time for you is much needed. Sometimes as parents we need to do that. Then you can be refreshed and be the parent your child deserves. Apologize and give him a big hug.

Have your heard fo tenex/guanfacine? This works wonders for my hyper, impulsive guy. It relaxes him and really makes his days good ones. My son is 10 and takes 90mgs of concerta along with 1mg of guanfacine.

do you think the concerta is at the right dose? Do you think it is the right med? How many hours are you getting covered by his dose?

The right dose is wherever your son is most successful, do not pay attention to the mg level. Everyone is different when it comes to these meds except for strattera, which builds up in the blood system after several weeks and it has to be ramped up.

don't beat yourself up too much, we have all been there before. Just try to relax next time before you blast him. Remind yourself that he has ADHD and CANNOT help it!

Take care!

Hello - I'm new to this forum but I needed to vent.  My 8-yr old son has ADHD (diagnosed 3 years ago).  He takes 36mg Concerta daily.  I'm really frustrated lately because it seems like everything I say, he has to do/say the opposite.  This may be normal childhood behavior but it is driving me crazy.  I try to stay cool and pick my battles but this morning I lost it.  We have house guests and one of them was sleeping on the couch.  My son and I were in the kitchen getting ready to go to the bus stop.  My son kept talking in a loud voice.  I told him several times to be quiet because someone was sleeping on the couch.  I probably told him 10 times to be quiet.  I finally got really angry and told him to "shut the f*** up".    It wasn't appropriate and I immediately apologized for what I had said but he left the house hurt.  Am I turning into a crappy parent?!?!

Anyone else have meltdowns like this?  I'm going crazy with guilt.

These kids are really good at pushing our buttons. We had a saying when I would take the kids anywhere: "if you drive the mama nuts, the mama drives you home". I had to work hard to reduce the yelling and with time, things have gotten better.

You might look into the marble system by ogram (top thread of this board) for a positive reinforcement behavior plan. You can reward each behavior that you want to see in the morning. When a plan is in place, it can be easy to say, "disobeying will cost a marble, do you want to continue?" Does not work all of the time but really helped.

Apologizing to your son for your poor behaviour is part of teaching him how to be a good person. Everyone has off times and must make amemds. This is an opportunity to teach, not one to beat yourself up over.

If mornings are usually bad, you might look into guanfacine or a short acting med to help your son with his mornings before the concerta kicks in. Having everything prepared at night also helps.

Was this before his meds kicked in? Or after? if after you might want to tell the doc what is going on. If before it is just natural behavior. I have to tell my son to be quiet 20 times in the morning Don't beat yourself up we all make misakes. The good thing is you can start over. Learn from your mistakes and know there many more like you around. You are not alone in this process.Kelley,

It sounds to me like impulsive behavior that he just can't stop.  My son has this same problem when unmedicated and he is so LOUD.  Does your son do this after the Concerta has kicked in?  If so, he may need a higher dose or a different med.  We also recently started guanfacine, and after some initial problems (1 mg. was too high for him), we are having much better morning behavior.  I also give him his stimulant earlier in the morning.  It makes a huge difference.  Just an idea for you since it sounds like he is "au natural" and just really impulsive.

Um, I just wanted to say that I too have been guilty of similar wording. It's so stinking hard to admit! I love all of my boys dearly, yet my little ADHDer is the most challenging of them all! And don't you just cringe at the thought of yourself saying something like that to someone soooo innocent. YIKES!  This is the reason I started the 'do-over' at our house. When you see it building up, just STOP the moment! Look at him and talk calmly about what you both need to do to get back to a GOOD start and what you're going to do to get a DESIRED result!  Let him add to the 'do-over' suggestions, too. Once you're done, say "Okay let's START do-over".  That can help put a hault to the  moments! 

Metis told me once, though, that when we fail them like that ... you know, if you don't stop it and we do end up with a regretable moment, then it's good to apologize. It shows them that NO ONE is perfect but you can make a wrong right by acknowledging your OOPS! and being genuinely sorry. 

 

Hey, I once said exactly THAT to a blind, mentally ill guy who was yelling at a bus stop.

And I once said it to a foster teen.

Families aren't families because they're perfect. Relationships are relationships because we get through all those things together.

Even kids gotta learn that parents aren't perfect. And the best bit is that THEY don't have to be perfect if we aren't. Screwing up occasionally is GOOD--if the kid sees that you live, learn and move on from it

Nothing is more discouraging than a perfect parent...