I agree with the above poster that every age has it's stage. I'm quite surprised to read that 2/3/4 were the worse stages. For me it was age 6. And, I say that because around that age people start expecting more from your child. They don't expect a 6 year old to tantrum like a 2 year old, etc. And this is also when 'real' school started. 1st grade! He had homework everynight and I had the worst time trying to get it done, plus housework, dinner, and let's not forget time to be a family.
So, yeah, I'd say age 6 was worse, but 4 was pretty bad too. He's seemed to level off. Except his new thing his being obsessed with body functions.
The worst stage is always the one the kid is having right now--Sam LevensonHe lets go where it is safe, here with mom. This is normal.
I totally agree! I was horrid to my family as a child and teen, and I didn't "have" anything. I was the over-achiever, super-involved teacher's pet at school, only to go home and be the biggest biyatch on the planet!! Home is the place where we can really let loose. That doesn't mean that disrepect and violence are okay, though. I would have killed me if I was my mom...that sounds a bit off, doesn't it!?
BPQW39412.3886458333With any age there is another stage!!! We have had raging moods, screaming and distroying rooms. 6 months ago it was a tantrum and then running away. With each incident it got worse ... The main problem was the stress of school - assignments and exams. The school behaviour was okay but home was a disaster. With each incident the behaviour got worse - the more he would distroy before he left, the louder he would shout and then the further he would go away.
The last one was awful - he cut his hair off, totally distroyed his room and took the baby pictures off the wall and smashed them on the ground. He even got his diary from school and tore each page out. Everything was calculated - he wanted to hurt me. I was a mess - I left the house so he didn't have an audience.
The next day when he had calmed down I told him that he had to go to school with the hair cut and then he had to clean his room and the mess of the house. Something hit home with him about consequences of his behaviour. I made it quite clear that he was a totally jerk and that if he going to act this way then I would have nothing to so with him.
Then holidays came and we did a few little things like change the diet and watch stress levels - if he wasn't copying with the work then I'd leave it. We haven't had any more of these episodes. The psychiatrist feels that we broke the cycle. Each tantrum built on the one. If I could pin point exactly what was done to stop them, I'd bottle it!!!!!
All the best
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Just know I was one of those punching the walls kids and I did grow out of it. Of course living it nom doesn't help. Has she had a full assesment by a qualified neoropsych or child psychiatrsit? If so I would go back for answers of talk about changing meds. A pediatrician is not equiped to handle anything but the simplest dase of ADHD, if even that.My daughters behavior has been at it's worst at home and at school about two monthes into the school year just about the time we change the clocks back. Is it the novelty of the new school year wearing off and bordem (inattention) setting in or is it the shorter days? I've mentioned the timing of this behavior change to several people including school psycologist, pediatrian, ect. with no response. My daughter was diagnosed just this past summer with AD/HD w/ODD and axiety and now medication has made a huge improvement for first two monthes of school. her behavior ussually improves come end of Februay when days get longer. Summer vacations have been oaky, maybe it's the lack of school stress. Privately I went to a psychologist and he assessed her as ADHD/ODD. We were put on waiting list for child psychiatrist who we went to recently but I felt frustrated with that process. We were originally refered because my daughter was not going to school. Since that was not the problem anymore they didn't really listen to my other concerns. They interviewed my daughter for maybe 15 min. and said they thought it was not ADHD but anxiety. So I wasn't happy with the evaluation process. They just kind of sent me on my way. The psychiatrist also kind of gave me a slap on the wrist because of going to different agencies to get assessments but I was informed by a crisis centre to try these different paths. Not sure what my next step is. We are having a harder year too. He just turned 9 and is in third grade. MyWe do have a therapist that we are working with. This is the third one that we tried and finally found a nice fit but then she went on maternity leave. She is now back but my daughter is not as willing to go and talk with her now so I am not forcing the issue right now since she has been seeing so many different doctors etc. in the last 2 months.
My daughter definitley has problems telling us her feelings, frustrations etc. She also exhibits none of these aggressive behaviours at school. I think the teachers would be shocked to know how she is behaving at home. It is a huge worry because I don't know if there are problems at school with friends because she won't tell us anything and the teachers aren't aware of what goes on in the school yard. She is a very sensitive child with low self-esteem yet wants to control everything and have everything done her way.
Thanks for the information and input.
My daughter is 10.5 and has been violent in the past (hitting, kicking, throwing things, etc). It was really bad during 3rd grade (she is currently in 5th grade) before she was diagnosed with ADHD. Her issues were only at home. I bet people at school would have been shocked to know what she did once she got home.
Once we started meds (Ritalin LA at the time), I had a totally different kid. Almost all of the behavior that caused us to have an evaluation done diminished. By reducing the anxiety and frustration at school, things improved at home. 4th grade was a fabulous year. Major tantrums were far and few between.
With the start of 5th grade, many of our issues have reared their ugly heads again. We are working adjusting med's and also with a behavioral therapist. The behavioral piece has been very helpful. I have read TONS of books, but working one on one with someone really makes a difference. It is well worth the time, effort and expense - we have no insurance coverage for the therapy.
http://www.addresources.org/adhd_podcasts.php has many useful podcasts dealing with parenting skills. Members get free downloads and other pay a fee. You might want to check them out.
HorseMom39405.7180439815
Was there an age where your child's behaviour seemed the worse? My daughter is 9 and newly diagnosed as ADHD/ODD and some anxiey. We've always had some concerns about behaviour and non-compliance but since school started this fall her behaviour is out of control! I feel like we have lost control of our house and it will never be the same again. I feel like it can't get worse...or can it? I am dreading the teenage years already. She has become extremely aggressive trying to punch me in the face. She is yelling and banging walls and windows to the point where our neighbours called the police. She is destructive. She was refusing to go to school although that has improved some. She has been on Biphentin for about a month and initially I saw great improvement. She started on 20mg then 30mg and then just increase to 40mg on Saturday since we had a week of awful behaviour. She has also started on 10mg of Strattera (1 week) since her pediatrician said that should help with the anxiety. I'm just waiting for something to help.
Now I'm wondering if it is more of a mood disorder since her behaviour seems so extreme to me or if she has just realized how to drive us crazy? Did your ADHD child always have the same symptoms or did they seem worse at a certain age? Did they worsen gradually or did they seem to explode at a certain time?
Could be a mood disorder, and alot of times Bi Polar in kids is misdiagnosed as ADHD/ODD.My son was the worst at 3/4 yr. old (he's 9 now). That was when we decided to take him to a play therapist the ped. recommended. His behavior improved signifcantly with that and we stayed with her through kindergarten/ 1st part of 1st grade. Ended up back with her when the teacher complained of attention, fidgeting, etc. She was the one who sent us to a wonderful neuropsych for an evaluation.
Sometimes there's other stuff going on that can cause the behavior to get worse- depression, anxiety. Sometimes it's sheer frustration. I know my son has a hard time telling us how he feels or if he's upset/frustrated about something because he has such a hard time organizing info in his head. It often doesn't come out very well. Then his behavior gets worse because he can't communicate- much like a toddler.
You might want to think about a therapist (if you don't have one already) and she may need a med adjustment/ change- maybe the dose is too high if her behavior got worse after improving initially.
Often as in my case my DS holds it together all day at school then comes home like a whilwind and stirs everything up. He lets go where it is safe, here with mom. This is normal. The school thought I was nuts when I told them what went on in our house with my son daily. Now he has accomodations at school(a 504 plan) that helps with the frustration of school and homework accomodations that help out at home so it isn't quite as bad anymore. And I agree with the previeous poster who said bi-polar can sometimes be misdiagnosed as ADHD-ODD and the meds can make things worse. Make sure you have a thorough evaluaton done by a qualified proffessional not a pediatrician.