Hi,
My name is Sherry and my daughter is Destiny and she is five. My daughter has not yet been Dx with ADHD but I strongly feel this is what is going on with her. Let me give you some examples of behavior that is concerning to me. She can be very defiant, can't sit still (even when sleeping), when talking to her she avoids eye contact, she still wets the bed and a few tjhings that seem to be worse when she is having a particularly bad day is that she will constantly suck on her fingers and hair. She has terrible tantrums and I have yet to figure out how to redirect her. I am worried and confused. I really think this is ADHD but the doctor thinks alot of it is parenting issues because my husband and I not don't agree on any aspect of parenting. He has four children from a previous marriage and thay all have been Dx with ADHD. They are now adults and constantly in trouble with the law and I am so afraid that if we do not do something now to help Destiny that she to will have similar issues as she gets older.
I'm going to be blunt here. There's something more wrong here than ADHD if ALL your stepchildren --are lawbreaking. The odds weigh against it.
Another issue for me is that I do not want her to be put on meds if this is ADHD. I have heard to many scary things about the meds as well as observed how they affected my stepkids. I would like to be able to do like behavior therapy and parenting classes. Is that possible does anyone know?
I would go that route myself, personally. If that doesn't work then you may be looking at medication. But nothing's going to change if you and hubby don't go together and agree on some basics for parenting this child.
Her teacher is now also concerned because in the last couple of weeks her behavior has changed and has become more defiant and distracted at school. I just don't know what to do. Please help and suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
If she has become worse in the past few weeks--has something happened?
I can see you are tremendously concerned over the situation and really want to change it. That's an excellent start.
I've been quite tactless and blunt because I don't want you to deny your own reality, nor that of the child. You're both suffering.
Your d/d may well have ADHD but all the medication in the world will not help if you and hubby do not decide how to parent her as an effective team. That is even MORE important with an ADHD child.
And effective parenting will only take you so far if the child has a medical disorder.
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thanks for the helpmomofdestiny39426.7973263889I voided mediation with my son for almost 6 years. We tried everything under the son to help him. We finally decided to try a small dose of adderall last spring. He was to a point of not being able to function at all in school. During all of these years of avoiding medications, we ended up with hours of home work every night, countless calls from the principle because of poor behavior (impulsive and not able to get along) and my son I believed suffered emotionally from all of this. Now that he is on medication, he is able to think before he acts, complete most of school work at school, and gets along pretty well with most children. We still have our struggles but they are not as bad as they have been in the past. I finally decided on medication when his doctor looked at me and said "If he was diabetic, would you not give him insulin? They need it to help keep them balanced and it will help make him successful in everyday life. Instead of always feeling like a failure." That really hit me and made me decide to try it. I only regret not doing it sooner, I feel I failed him. My son wants to take the medication even when the doctor told him he could be off of it during the summer. He told the doctor he feels in control of himself when he takes it and likes not getting in trouble. So he is aware of what it does for him.
I agree with edbson on the neuropsych evaluation. you can guess away at what it could be or might be. Also dont start planning or dismissing treatment until you know what you are dealing with and what you're options are. She is only 5 and soe of this could be sensory related. If school is complaining I would also request and evaluation from school. They can also so a psych, occupational therapy and academic evaluation. Then they can come up with a behavior plan with you for school.
Parenting classes are a great idea and so are behavior plans ADHD or not. The marble system from this board seems to work well for many people. Magic 1-2-3 is a great book that also works very well for people. Do you have a local Childrens Hospital nearby? This is a good place to get her in for evalautions on your own and I am sure they will offer parenting classes.
Hi,
My name is Sherry and my daughter is Destiny and she is five. My daughter has not yet been Dx with ADHD but I strongly feel this is what is going on with her. Let me give you some examples of behavior that is concerning to me. She can be very defiant, can't sit still (even when sleeping), when talking to her she avoids eye contact, she still wets the bed and a few tjhings that seem to be worse when she is having a particularly bad day is that she will constantly suck on her fingers and hair. She has terrible tantrums and I have yet to figure out how to redirect her. I am worried and confused. I really think this is ADHD but the doctor thinks alot of it is parenting issues because my husband and I not don't agree on any aspect of parenting. He has four children from a previous marriage and thay all have been Dx with ADHD. They are now adults and constantly in trouble with the law and I am so afraid that if we do not do something now to help Destiny that she to will have similar issues as she gets older.
Another issue for me is that I do not want her to be put on meds if this is ADHD. I have heard to many scary things about the meds as well as observed how they affected my stepkids. I would like to be able to do like behavior therapy and parenting classes. Is that possible does anyone know?
Her teacher is now also concerned because in the last couple of weeks her behavior has changed and has become more defiant and distracted at school. I just don't know what to do. Please help and suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
ADHD can be heriditary. Your child could very well be ADHD, but without a proper evaluation you cannot be sure. Other conditions mimic ADHD. I suggest that you get a referral from your pediatrician to see a pediatric psychiatrist. The psych. can fully evaluate your child and you can also receive some helpful counseling.
My husband and I were against meds also, but after much research and talking to some other families we decided to try the meds. I had one parent to tell me that this isn't about you, it's about your child. We still have a long way to go, but things are much, much improved on the meds. He is doing well in school now, actually he's doing great, and he is not getting into trouble at church constantly. His quality of life has improved due to our choice of medicating. I do not regret it at all. But, medicating isn't for all families. I suggest, research, research and more research.
From the description of your step-children and some symptoms of your little one, look up oppositional defiant disorder. This may or may not reflect your child. But, its a place to start. We all wish you luck,and please keep us posted.
PM me is you would like to. I would like to talk to you further. My child is also five. He is ADHD, OCD and has ODD.
Our children are precious in His sight.
I would take her to a good Neuropsychologist for an evaluation , and go from there. Do not veto meds now, wait and see. Studies have shown that kids with ADHD who are medicated early do not tend to "self medicate" later in life with illegal drugs. Meds are a personal decision, but do not make that decision until you know what is going on. It may not be ADHD, and from what you describe actually sounds like More then ADHD to me. You might consider something on the Autism spectrum also. edbson39405.9067939815