Daughter just diagnosed with ADD/ADHD | ADHD Information

Hello everyone... I'm new here so bare with me.

My 13 year old daughter was just diagnosed with ADD/ADHD a couple weeks ago.  I have been doing research on the medications and I am VERY confused.  We have tried all NON medication ways to get her to focus, do homework, be organized, do chores and everything else...nothing has worked.  We tried all these things before she was diagnosed.  I am turning to the medications because all other attempts have failed.  My problem is... How do you know what medication is best?  Her self esteem is pretty low because she is constantly getting F's on her report card, she can't seem to pay attention in class and gets scolded by teachers (moved to the front of the classroom so the teacher can keep their eye on her), she is told that she is disruptive and has had many detentions over the last couple of years.  I know I am rambling and I am sorry.  I don't want to put her on meds because I have read some VERY alarming things on medications used to treat ADD/ADHD.  I don't want her self esteem to go any lower and I don't want her to get depressed. At the same time, I'm afraid if I don't medicate her she will continue to fail and that will not help her either. 

We have offered her money, taken away things she enjoys, completely cleaned her room from distractions, put a camera outside her room so we could watch her do homework, tried the kitchen table for homework (that didn't work at all), she doesn't finish her chores (2 hours to fold 1 basket of laundry?).  I am tired of yelling and I don't think I have been a bad parent as some people label the parent as the problem.  I am afraid of what people may think of her when they learn she has ADD.  Yet, I will stand my ground and defend her when it's needed. 

I don't know which medication will be right for her.   The doctor that diagnosed her said to take her to the family doctor to find the right medicine.  I have a problem with that area too.  The last 3 doctors we have had have all moved and once again I am forced to find a new doctor.  This doctor will know little about her as a person and I am supposed to trust this doctor to find what is RIGHT for her?? 

I know they are trained for this kind of stuff, but it scares the heck outta me.  I have to trust someone I know nothing about, who doesn't have a rappor (sp) with us, to treat my child.  I don't know what to do. I know something needs to be done, but at the same time I am a little on edge about the whole situation. 

I just can't yell anymore....I'm tired, drained, at my wits end and about to go to the deep end.  Any help that anyone can provide me I would really appreciate it.  I don't know where to turn or what medication she should start with.  I just don't know....   Please HELP!!!   

Wow, it sounds as though your hands are fuller than full!! You are excatly where our family was a little over a year ago. My suggestion; check with your pediatrician and get a referral for a pediatric psychiatrist or a neuropsychiatrist. I wouldn't trust just a "family" doctor to monitor her. You need someone who does this everyday. They can help you with choosing the meds that will best suit your child. At first, meds are a trial and error kind of thing. They can also offer you some much need behavior modification and counseling.

We were against medicating our child too, but we opted to do it, and I will NEVER be sorry for that decision. Our son is now able to concentrate in school and has learned more in nine weeks of school than he did in seven months of preschool. He has more self-control, and others now comment on how well he is doing. Our entire family has benifitted due to out decision to medicate.

I am also a nurse, and I can tell you, if you read  up on most medications you will be scared, not just the ones for ADHD.

Your child's self esteem will hopefully improve with her increased ability to concentrate and make better grades. Medications are not a "cure all", but they do help.

I hope this helps.

 

You would need to see a Psychiatrist for Med managment, not a regular Dr.

Meds are trial and error, there is no "right one" for everyone, and sometimes trying a few, or a bunch is what has to be done.

Thank You all sooooooo much for your help.  I will talk to her "new" doctor and ask for a referral.  I am so glad I found this site.  It has helped me a ton!!!  At least now I know which direction to go.

I will just agree, get a referral to a psychiatrist, and if possible psychopharmocologist. Let them detail out your med options and go from there. They will most likely suggest what they've had the most success with, but it's as good a place to start as any. As Edbson says there's no way to know what will work until you start trying. Some people have luck on their first medication.

Our daughter was precribed Ritalin by her pediatrician and we started her on that while we waited for p-doc appointment.

You need to see a child psychiatrist to determine the right medication and dose.Hello fellow Badger (although I don't live there any more ),

Everyone, EVERYONE here was reluctant to medicate their child.  No one prefers to give a child medication when something else will do; however, for many of us, it's the ONLY thing that works. 

So much of what is on the internet is just plain wrong.  Many people have an agenda when they are writing about medications, and ADHD treatments pull in the moralistic loonies, who prefer to see people as good or bad, instead of in need of medical help.  Because ADHD results in negative behavioral symptoms, it is an easy target for anyone with a holier-than-thou streak, but that doesn't make these people right.  There are REAMS of research about the neurology of ADHD and the positive effects of medication.  And ava is right -- all meds now have inserts that are 10 pages long.  Ritalin is one of the most researched medications ever. 

Please read "Driven to Distraction" by Edward Hallowell.  It will help you understand what your daughter's inner life is like and why what works for most kids doesn't work for ours. 

I agree with the others -- a psych referral is the way to go.  They should help guide you through the medications.
We are so glad we finally got our daughter diagnosed and started her on Medadate CD. It has made a huge improvement in our lives. For the first time she comes home and does homework without being asked and have had very few mishaps at school. We have had some difficulty getting her to take them on off school days. She can't or won't tell us why she doen't want to take them. It's seems the meds have reduced her difficultys at school which in turn has made the rest of her life less stressful. The "right doctor, Right med. " thing is a pain but it sure beats going back to the previous living hell we were in before. hang in there.

I did tones of reasearch also, and decided to go with meds, beleve me, this was not what i wanted, untill i did some real reasearch!! I totaly agree with Joy2, that people try to make you feel bad for giving the meds, but after seing what i saw in my daughter after a few days was incredible, and it brough me to tears! she gets off the bus now with a great big smile and can't wait to tell me what a great day she had! she breeses though her homework now! no struggeling, and she giggles at the same time she's doing them, cause she finds it so easy now! she gets nothing but positive attention at school and home! it's just so wonderfull!

We are still in the process of finding the right dose, right now she is on concerta 18mg, and will up her dose on sat to 24mg, in 2 weeks i go back to peds and then figure out what is the right amount for her! I have high hopes now for her, she is happy, and looks forward to taking her med in the morning, I'm just so happy right now, all these years of wondering WTH is wrong with her, finaly my thoughs are at peace!

You need to go to a child psychiatrist and see what they recommend for your situation. They take a family history and hers. They can try you on many different meds. Ritalin family is the most popular with most docs some like Adderal(has more side effects for some) It depends on the coverage time you are seeking as well and your daughter is old enough to have a say. I would take her and see what happens.