Broke up with gf and depressed | ADHD Information
Does anyone have any advice for me. Today I broke up with my girlfriend because she wants to be with someone else. I didn't act right around her. I know it was my fault. I totally f**ked up! She said to me that she wants to be with someone else who is always nice to her. I blame myself and now I'm beginning to think i'm just a little piece of sh*t. I actually have a very unusual reaction to the whole thing.. My impulsive behaviour repelled her a lot i think. I feel so bad now that I have totally lost interest in living all together...I hope its just part of adhd because i'm starting ritalin soon and i hope it will give me more enthusiasm! I feel like I'm the one in the world everyone doesn't want to know....Does anyone know what I can do to help myself keep enthusiastic about life? I've never had ANY friends and it's just one rejection after another, and it always seems as if i'm being dropped for someone better. I kinda think now that I'm not worth the air I breath and that I mask the hatred for myself. The strange thing is I feel numb, emotionless but a little on the downside. I feel short and ugly.....I feel like I would like to be killed viciously by someone.. If i were someone else I'd murder myself...because life for me is just one rejection after another... I ENVY EVERYONE COZ I WISH I WAS LIKE THEM SO MUCH....instead i'm this little f**kin sh*t....i can't tell anyone how i feel so this board is the only place i can say this....plz help by the way i'm not putting this relationship break up down to her. but i can't stop saying stupid and hurtful things to people...i used to say to her she looked like someone off the tv and stuff, i didn't ever insult her....i used to think very highly of her and stuff. but i just said wierd things.i would playfight with her just harmless messing....i hate the way i act around people! why can't i just have a normal life!! I know it's all my fault....
I know that I am going to end out a nobody....with no body liking me..not even me so I really feel now as if i wanna die.....i don't think that life is for me...my brain which i got was just f**ked up.....that's why i'm like this....
wildlad08838320.2768634259Wildlad, sorry you had a rough weekend.
I'm sure you have heard this before but, no one is going to like you until you like yourself. Right now you are at a low point, but you are going to have to pick yourself up, dust yourself off & find something positive about yourself. (i find this works after indulging in LOTS of chocolate
)
Look, the grass is always greener on the otherside, & what is normal anyway? Why would someone want to be "normal", to me that has always been a synonym for BORING. I know its hard, relationships are hard for everyone, not just ADDers.
So stop setting yourself up for rejection. Enter into something new, anything, with a positive outlook. When you get up in the morning make a committment to yourself to do something positive, & before you go to sleep remember something positive you did that day.
Most of your relationship problems could be walls you have put up. You may not realize that you expect every relationship to fail, therefore you will make that happen. So try the positive thing for a month & lets see what happens.
Wildlad.....the fact that your reaching out for advice and help tells me you really havent given up hope and thats a good thing. The fact that you realize what your doing wrong is a very positive step in the right direction. Everyone, adhd or not makes msitakes in realtionships and by making those mistakes, thats how we learn lifes lessons. Its all part of the maturity process. However, impulsivity for an adhd'er is a major roadblock in terms of developing people skills. Ive encountered so many parents through the years that have children with adhd who were mainly concerned with their childrens academic achievements when in fact down the road if interventions arent put in place to address the impulsivity factor, being smart means nothing. Low self esteem will always sabatoge any efforts for a person to succeed in life.
Wildlad....you have many redeeming qualitites and based on your posts, you appear to be a sensative and very caring person who really does want to succeed in life. You are a somebody, not a nobody and while we all feel the way you do when a loved one rejects us, you must rise above this and recognize your worth. While I understand that this task is very difficult when your met with rejection after rejection, there is help out and there and geting that help will allow all your strengths to rise to the surface and in doing so, you will start to realize that you are a somebody that has so much to contribute in this world. As CSmommy says, the grass always looks greener on the other side and its true that everyone has their own definition of normal.
If your responsive to ritilan, it will allow you the ability to make a choice as opposed to acting out impulsively. However, medication is not a magic bullet because adhd or not, we dont always make the right choices.. What I suggest you do try to find out what your good at and make a hobby out of it. Hobbies give us a sense of real self accomplishment. Instead of dwelling on what you perceive to be your weaknesses, put the emphasis on your strengths and build on them. Other people cant give you a sense of self worth as that has to come from within.
You can and will succeed and getting the right help will afford ou the opportunity to do that. Keep us psoted and know that there is always someone here to help
Sheesh dont mutilate yourself, then you will be ugly and that is a definate disadvantage 
.
Wildlad - I still luv ya. And This Too Shall Pass!
And being alone is not that Bad, you dont have to compromise, you dont have to give up anything, you dont have to, you dont have to, and you dont have to.
You can do what you WANT to do. Think positive - or you will keep going Down.
Why punish yourself, just learn and get on with it and try harder next time.
ah tanx rae70....you always know how to cheer me up.
well i'm gettin my revenge,,, she still wants to be friends andi'm just playin it cool with her. like she don't matter to me. it's workin. i just chat to other girls in front of her. she's flickin her hair lot more in front of me, that good? that's the good thing about being adhd, i pick up on every little thing.
now i'm just playin her. young love can be so cruel.....
tanx for cheerin me up ladz next time i'll be in a better mood.
yes i know i'm honest and caring and all that..but i hate being like that...why can't i be f**kin like a normal man! adhd f**ks up my life..people think i'm psycho. sorry bout the anger but i just don't like ME. I hate who i am, i hate myself so much. I hope God just killls me coz I hate myself. I'm a nobody and nobody really cares about me, there's always someone better than me....i'm never any good, I would love to just mutilate myself.
wildlad08838321.1015856481yeah you are all rite....i do feel better now.....i know if i don't care about me...noone will so there's no point in thinkin that way...i'll just have to meet someone who truly likes me for being me and that's the way life goes.
I think you are right mafiakiddo, because she put up with my behaviour up to the point where he told her he liked her and then she was givin me all this i'm confused bullsh*t. and i don't know who i want, i want both of you. But I just made her think I was fine with it and stuff and now i can see she's havin doubts about breakin up with me. Heeseemsok, i think you are great, you got through a lot, I'm a catholic too, but sometimes when i feel so bad I just don't think about religion at all. I don't know why. I'm not religious anyway.
I hope I can find someone in the future that really does appreciate me and likes me for who I am.
ah tanx rae70....you always know how to cheer me up.
well i'm gettin my revenge,,, she still wants to be friends andi'm just playin it cool with her. like she don't matter to me. it's workin. i just chat to other girls in front of her. she's flickin her hair lot more in front of me, that good? that's the good thing about being adhd, i pick up on every little thing.
now i'm just playin her. young love can be so cruel.....
tanx for cheerin me up ladz next time i'll be in a better mood.
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Whats that quote "Alls fair in love and war" Play the game wildlad - but dont play too long or she will give up. Reel her back in when you get a good bite!
Oh to be young again and have so much energy. LOL
Wildlad... If you had a girlfriend, even if she broke up with you, means that you CAN make friends... even someone close enough to consider you a 'boyfriend'. (Finding a person the opposite sex is more difficult than finding a friend... who are you kidding?)
What do you feel is going to happen to you after you die? Are you sure it's better there? If you say that you'll meet God once you die (which is what I believe, being a Catholic, and you mentioned God in a previous comment), you think God's gonna want you after you killed yourself? Killing is sin #1, even if you do it to yourself. You're here on earth for a reason.... and that reason is NOT to find yourself a girlfriend and play hard to get with her.
If playing games with a person makes YOU feel better, then I hope it's making her feel better too, cause I'm SURE you're not trying to hurt her, that would just prove to her in the long run that you're being a jerk.
Be honest with yourself and her. Pretty soon she'll accuse you of playing games with her, she'll be mad at you and you'll end up questioning your motives, like you said "You can't stop saying stupid and hurtful things to people". STOP playing games and fooling with your own and her emotions, she may be in the same state of mind as YOU. Instead, find a reason for your life, there's many... to see the sun shine, to smile at someone having a bad day, to help any elderly person across the street, to return a dog to it's owner, to find a woman to marry and have a child, to go to school and find a dream job... Lifes challenges are as hard or easy as you make them. Reasons to live can be small or big, we are human, we all have our own priorities.
And, quit blaming yourself for everything. If the girl is interested in someone else, let her go. It happens to ALL OF US, even movie stars don't stay in relationships (and most of us would LOVE to be 'just like them'). You need to learn that you're #1 in your life and nothing else matters. And refering to your previous post, I am 'just me' too, wildlad, and will always be 'just me' and that 'you don't like yourself'. I, too, was a not-so-popular highschooler, had very few friends, first real boyfriend at 19, no one went out of their way to see/get to know me (and I dont have ADHD or ADD). I wasn't good looking, quite awkward in fact (5'9" in 8th grade and 110 pounds), couldn't play sports if my life depended on it. Wasn't real good in school, it would take me forever to do my homework. Nothing interested me.
Well, guess what... turned 21 (way back when), filled out some (too much), lost some weight, then started taking care of myself more. I now am married (for 8 years), still IN LOVE with my husband, and stay at home raising my 2 kids.... that love me. I am a good mom, (and still don't have a lot of friends).
You know I learned? If you don't care about yourself, no one is gonna care about you. Why not ask the doctor that you see for your prescription and tell him how you've been feeling. We've all felt down, no doubt, but a GIRL is definately not a reason to feel as bad as you do, TRUST us, life goes on.
I think, just by expressing your feelings and being true about them, most women would find this an attraction. I have friends in their mid-30's and they are still single. They question why, I also wonder why, these girls are fantastic people. They just haven't found their sole mate yet and may never, I think they've come to the point in their lives that it's OK to be living alone and they focus on other things that are important. You have to remember.... It's easier to break up and be divorced than to stay together and work it out. Divorce is the easy way out for a lot of people, no one wants to make an effort these days.yeah i guess it is good thing to be able to express yourself...i just think a lot of the girls nowadays are out for what they can get...if they are not happy they just move on. u see thing is that this girl was my first time. She knew that too and we were together. About a week after that she just said that she wanted to be with someone else. I found this upsetting and I felt as though I degraded myself by being with her.I just got with her and I feel used. Did she use me or what? Or is she just a slut?? Anyway it';s her loss :-)
It's usually the other way around, the girl gets hurt after sleeping with the guy and the guy 'forgets to call'. So emotional, my male friend(and that's perfectly fine)!
Chalk it up as an experience. Ten years from now, you'll appreciate what you learned from this and 30 years from now, you'll be having this conversation with your son and making sure they don't treat girls that way... then you'll be telling your daughter to make her first experience special and make sure she's with the guy she loves (and then you'll say "save yourself for marriage" You'll lie and say "I did". We've all had some type of bad experiences, it's part of growing up.
It doesn't matter if she used you, really. You're going through the normal emotions and questions. You can think and rethink everything you and she ever said to each other, and you may even ask her (though it may not be the truth). If you feel used, then she used you... you'll get over here. You need to cut ties with the negative things in life and she may be one of them.
You know, you could have been on this site saying "I'm gonna die a virgin".... Haven't your folks told you the consequences of teenage (young adult) sex? Ah... forget it... who listens to their parents!!!
yeah i just hoped the protection worked lol.