I’m new to this game | ADHD Information

[QUOTE=Nrsmamy]He is on Straterra and has been for a year now. Ritalin made him so angry and violent. Straterra seems to take a tiny edge off, but is far from a "magic bullet" We have him in a behavior mod. preschool that has also helped but he has melt downs at home daily...oppositional to the end. My pediatrician is convinced we can manage his medication ourselves. [/QUOTE]

This is what would concern me -- the fact that Ritalin made him angry and Straterra isn't really helping either. A good child psychiatrist would want to look into this in case there is something else happening.

BTW, all the posts on this thread have been GREAT. I wish that we were all next-door-neighbors, dealing with our kids together. I felt SO frustrated and alone the first 4 years of my son's life!! He was terrible to "parent" from day one, too. I kept reading, reading, reading all of the child development books, trying to figure out what I was doing wrong! There were no answers at ALL, just more suggestions for behavior modification, which I read as admonishments because our son was almost unreachable. When your kid just runs through the house with glazed-over eyes and throws tantrums whenever you want to do something, you feel like a giant failure (well, I did, anyway). We took our son to so many professionals, none of whom would even MENTION ADHD, although they must have all guessed it. He was obviously not autistic, but had some of the sensory stuff (he's way too socially adept). They were all afraid to say anything specific about a 3 or 4 year old. We got all kinds of recommendations, most of which made me feel even worse because it was impossible to follow through!! I remember one lady from the school system giving me a book on how to provide structure for difficult kids. I was totally overwhelmed!!! I was thinking, how can I provide structure for myself when my kid runs around like crazy all day, doesn't listen, throws all of his toys, dumps everything out, throws major tantrums. I can't even get to the grocery store, lady!!!! Looking back, it makes me almost angry that no one had the balls to say, your kid could have ADHD -- you need to get some real help first and THEN you can implement some of these ideas. When you are struggling with a young ADHD child and someone tells you that you need to be more structured or more consistent or use this plan or that idea, you just feel like a bad parent. THAT is the outcome of delaying an otherwise obvious diagnosis. I thought for YEARS that other parents must know something that I don't know and that is why their kids behave and mine doesn't.

My husband finally said, screw this, we are going to a psychiatrist who can actually prescribe medications. She was the first person who took our frustration really seriously. It took another year before I was ready to medicate him, but by then I just couldn't take it any more. It was him or me. Ritalin changed our lives -- I feel let his true personality break through from the cobwebs and mud and floor sweepings that had been clogging his brain. If only I had known another family like ours when he was a toddler. It is hard not to resent other parents when you are in the middle of it, especially if they not only have easy kids but treat you like a pariah for having an out-of-control child.

I just wanted to say to CrazyMadsMom, I believe was the name, thatif you truly feel that your son is ADHD just keep going until you find someone to listen to you. I knew without doubt at age 2 my son had ADHD. I saw his pediatrician 3 times before I decided to take him somewhere else at around age 4. His pediatrician simply insisted that he was 'spirited' nothing more than that. Laughed at me when I told her I thought he might be autistic. I went to her 3 times before I realized that she couldn't help me. I had him seen by a psychiatrist a week before his 4th birthday.

The psychiatrist hemmed and hawed. She didn't want to do anything either. Wanted me to sit tight for a couple more years. This is what I said to her response, "Wait a few years!?! I HAVE waited a few years! (At this point I burst into tears.) I can't wait anymore, I can't take it anymore! No one knows what it's like to live this life with this child in this condition. It is a parent's nightmare...I continued for a bit about the hell I had dealt with and I told her straight up! "I am not leaving this office until someone helps me!" She picked up her prescription pad and started to write and said to me, "Here's what we're gonna do..."

In hindsight, I probably would have waited for medication only because he could not really respond to me about how he was feeling. I still feel very bad about that. But, looking back now I was a very desperate woman. He didn't sleep, I didn't sleep. I needed to feel human again. This child was a total lunatic and I had a toddler to take care of too. I can't believe we have come this far. We are still struggling and still having our problems, but we are all doing much much better than we were 3 years ago. And I am learning how to cope. You go through a mourning period. You must mourn the child you expected to have and love the child you do have. I spent a great deal of time being angry and resentful of happy parents. But, I have come to the realization that having a child with ADHD is much harder work, but it only makes the rewards greater. You don't take anything for granted. You actually enjoy every good moment! :)

Anyway, I've rambled long enough. Just wanted to share a bit of my story. I should add that my son has very severe ADHD so the age of diagnosis may differ. Just don't give up. Don't be ignored. The sooner your child is helped it is a greater benefit to both of you.

I've learned, from my own experience, to start at step one and go from there. Right now, you need to find a good dr...one qualified to deal with what you're possibly bringing to the table. Start there, a diagnosis is the beginning and you can move forward from there. The struggle never stops but you get coping strategies and resources to help you and help your child through the 'tough days'. One thing Diane V always mentions is that she won't verbally fight with her children. She ignores them, I have tried that and it is very hard not to retaliate, but I have to tell you-it is a successful method. She gets them to their room (she may have mentioned dragging them...) and leave them there until the drama has ceased and a productive conversation can be had. A method we use at our house for our 6 year old son (ADHD impulsive/hyp) is the do-over. Once you get to the point of being able to rationalize with her, tell her "Okay, that went pretty badly. Here's what I want out of the conversation...Tell me what you want out of the conversation... Okay, now let's start our 'do over'."

The reason I'm giving you these tips is because during all of the processing and testing and other 'stuff', you're going to need some plans of action. You're going to need to be ready for the tough days and have a method that works for your family to keep it limited as much as possible.

We have a saying from a dear friend, he was four when he passed away. His parents always taught him and he repeated it often "Hands are for hugging, not hitting". It actually works for my six year old to say that. Hitting is flat NOT allowed. As I'm sure you know, ADHD kids are immature, so you may try this simple phrase with her. Something has got to click with her that it ain't okay to hit! Minimizing the escalation of the fighting will help her feel less inclined to hit, as well.

We're all doing our best here and you will seek comfort here, too. Keep up with this forum, it truly is a stress reliever to come here and then some days YOU can be the one to try and offer out some sanity.

Keep us updated and stay connected...

I do realize that Tucker is young and it adds a degree of difficulty to dx him. However, He does display the usual toddler behavior..but it's all x 10..sometimes x100. It's frustrating to me because an ADHD child..or any other dx for that matter...doesn't become ADHDr at age 6. My son, quite obviously, has displayed these behaviors since infancy and I would think someone might do a study to include younger children. I understand maybe not giving super young children medication but getting them started on behavior modifations..or whatever tx is needed...ealier for better outcomes. A child that is deaf would not be left to flounder until he enters school. Imagine the time lost and reprocussions of that time. I think ADHD is the same and it's a disservice to our littlest ones not to get on top of it as early as possible.

I couldn't agree more! My child is 3-1/2. He's NOT normal. He's NOT easy. And NOBODY will give me anything to go on. I'm completely certain that my son has ADHD and everything I've read totally validates my personal feelings. He displays EVERY symptom. And I wish somebody could help me somehow and put us all out of our daily misery.

I have a 4 1/2 year old with the diagnosis of ADHD and ODD. It's been a huge struggle to parent him effectively since he was, quite literally, a newborn. Along with the obvious hurdles from his Dx he's also had severe night terrors since infancy. We have gotten a reprieve for about six months and now he's started sleep walking, crying, and peeing on the floor. He does respond to me, but in a very detached and often nonsensical way, when I talk to him so I don't know if it would be officially called sleep walking. I am totally exhausted. my ds is so much work to manage all day AND all night. I think I might lose it.
He is on Straterra and has been for a year now. Ritalin made him so angry and violent. Straterra seems to take a tiny edge off, but is far from a "magic bullet" We have him in a behavior mod. preschool that has also helped but he has melt downs at home daily...oppositional to the end. My pediatrician is convinced we can manage his medication ourselves. I wouldn't even know who else to ask to be referred to. I'm new to all this and I'm feeling totally helpless as to what to do next. Any advice?? Thanks for your time.

Is there a family history of sleepwalking or night terrors? [QUOTE=MetisRebel]Is there a family history of sleepwalking or night terrors? [/QUOTE]

There is. My husbands side is where those and the ADHD came from. I tease him that I should have looked further into a person's genetic hx before accepting a marriage proposal. : )
You need a Psychiatrist to manage meds, and look for other possible diagnosis, or co morbids. I was going to say what edbson said, you need someone more specialzed than a pediatrician. Pediatric psyhciatrist is the way to go. Start by calling your insurance company for referrals then if no luck ask around and pay out of pocket if you can it's worth it.

Perhaps you do not have an accurate or complete dx. What type of doctor diagnosed your son? No, a pediatrician should not be managing meds--that's a speciality. You need a child psychiatrist or a behavioral pediatrician.

This just all seems too complicated at 4.5 years old. It is so hard to get an accurate dx at this age. So many behaviors attributed to ADHD are considered normal up until age 5. ODD? So many children this age are "defiant." Plus, with the meds, you are tossing in another layer of complication -- some of this could be an adverse reaction to meds. And with a pediatrician trying to manage the meds, you have yet another layer of complication. Have you tried something simple for sleep like chammomile tea or warm milk or melatonin?

NoTellin39413.9309027778

When the general public sees that your child has cancer or some such disease they want to raise money for you..when your child is going bazerk in walmart they just see him as a brat kid and a you as a bad parent....noone knows the behind the scenes struggle and work we put into helping our kids..and ourselves through this.

Amen, sister! What a great analogy. I have no advice, but feel your pain. Mine's only 3-1/2 and hasn't been officially diagnosed yet, but I'm CERTAIN he is ADHD.

I haven't figured out how to control him, but wine works well on me...

I totally agree. Most people say to ignore the stares and comments, but I'm still thinking of a clever comeback!

[QUOTE=Nrsmamy] Thanks Diane. I am trying. It's sometimes a lonely battle. When the general public sees that your child has cancer or some such disease they want to raise money for you..when your child is going bazerk in walmart they just see him as a brat kid and a you as a bad parent....noone knows the behind the scenes struggle and work we put into helping our kids..and ourselves through this. [/QUOTE]

OMG, ain't that the truth. Well, no one here will think you are a bad parent. You are doing ALL of the right things. My son had night terrors, too. The good news is that they stop eventually. I think that my son was around 5 when they stopped. Night terrors SO scary. My heart goes out to you that you are dealing with them right now

((((Nrsmamy))))).

Do you have a medical center close by? I think that you need a pediatric psychiatrist and/or neuropsychologist to help diagnose and manage the medications. If you are in a city, you should be able to find a whole team at a big medical center. Please consider this, as the peds don't have expertise with these medications. Ours -- an wonderful doctor -- has even admitted not knowing about one of the meds used in ADHD treatment.
[QUOTE=Nrsmamy] Thanks Diane. I am trying. It's sometimes a lonely battle. When the general public sees that your child has cancer or some such disease they want to raise money for you..when your child is going bazerk in walmart they just see him as a brat kid and a you as a bad parent....noone knows the behind the scenes struggle and work we put into helping our kids..and ourselves through this. [/QUOTE]

As long as the cancer child is wonderfully well-behaved instead of screaming at life to survive [and often that's the person that DOES survive

].

Thank you for mentioning the store incidents. As an ADHD'er I don't do well in stores either so thanks for reminding me that if I hear some kid screaming and his mom freaking--there might be valid reasons for it...

Sometimes I try to get the kid's attention hoping s/he HAS ADHD because distraction by some whacky adult wandering by can be useful

[QUOTE=Nrsmamy]Has anyone had any luck with specialized nurse practitioners?

[/QUOTE]

Many of them are excellent. However, the clinical supervision in your case should be done by a psychiatrist as should some proper assessment and ongoing supervision of the case.

Because psychs are so busy, a wise, sensible nurse might be advised as someone you see regularly

Thanks for the advice. I have to say when a person decides to start a family they don't expect to have to be looking up pediatric psychiatrists four and half years later. It's disheartening.

Has anyone had any luck with specialized nurse practitioners?

agreed, unfortuantely we have to play the hand we're dealt, your son is lucky he has a Mom whose trying so hard.................hang in, it does get better.......... Thanks Diane. I am trying. It's sometimes a lonely battle. When the general public sees that your child has cancer or some such disease they want to raise money for you..when your child is going bazerk in walmart they just see him as a brat kid and a you as a bad parent....noone knows the behind the scenes struggle and work we put into helping our kids..and ourselves through this. Nrsmamy39413.6558912037

[QUOTE=Nrsmamy]Has anyone had any luck with specialized nurse practitioners?

[/QUOTE]

Yes, we use a psychiatric nurse practitioner for my daughters meds management through our local Children's Hospital. She's great and is known as the "pill lady". There are a few things I really like about working with her.

She really knows her stuff and has been doing it a long time She's accessible and always returns my calls herself We get scheduled for an hour long visit each time Unlike the interns/fellows that cycle through the department at the hospital, she'll always be there. She's actually covered by my insurance even through we have no mental health coverage.

For our diagnosis - we had two different neuropychologist do the evaluations. (It's a long story as to why we had two done at the same time...)

Thank you for mentioning the store incidents. As an ADHD'er I don't do well in stores either so thanks for reminding me that if I hear some kid screaming and his mom freaking--there might be valid reasons for it...

Sometimes I try to get the kid's attention hoping s/he HAS ADHD because distraction by some whacky adult wandering by can be useful

I can't speak for other mom's but the few times I got that kind of response from an outsider at a store It instantly calmed me and did distract my boy enouph to deesculate the situation. Unfortunately, there aren't too many folks that are comfortable helping out in that way. Bless ya.

[QUOTE=NoTellin]

It was a developmental Phychologist that evaluated him to begin with. She does not manage meds just hands out Dx and make recommendations. I do realize that Tucker is young and it adds a degree of difficulty to dx him. However, He does display the usual toddler behavior..but it's all x 10..sometimes x100. It's frustrating to me because an ADHD child..or any other dx for that matter...doesn't become ADHDr at age 6. My son, quite obviously, has displayed these behaviors since infancy and I would think someone might do a study to include younger children. I understand maybe not giving super young children medication but getting them started on behavior modifations..or whatever tx is needed...ealier for better outcomes. A child that is deaf would not be left to flounder until he enters school. Imagine the time lost and reprocussions of that time. I think ADHD is the same and it's a disservice to our littlest ones not to get on top of it as early as possible.

[/QUOTE] Nrsmamy39414.3490277778[QUOTE=HorseMom]

[QUOTE=Nrsmamy]Has anyone had any luck with specialized nurse practitioners?

[/QUOTE]

For our diagnosis - we had two different neuropychologist do the evaluations. (It's a long story as to why we had two done at the same time...)

[/QUOTE]

I've had good luck with NP's in other areas. Being a nurse I have a lot of faith in advanced practice nursing. I guess it's just a matter of coming across the right one. : )