Just Some Advice Please | ADHD Information

out of ideas, welcome. Well first let me say my youngest at 4 was a HANDFUL. She was just so difficult..............she is now 5 1/2 and very, very different. That said, she (we dont think) has ADHD. Part of my point is it's difficult to know at 4 what is behavior that will be outgrown and what wont. That doesnt mean there's nothing you can do though. Most parenting and discipline techniques that work well for kids with ADHD will work even better for kids without .

Start by reading, reading, reading! Many people have good success with the marble system on this board. The magic 1-2-3 book (you can get it from the library or buy it at Amazon) has great advice. At 4 a lot fo people start with paying close attention to diet and positive discipline techniques. There are some dietary supplements that some see good success with, that wont cause any side effects (like Omega 3's). Look on the alternative and complementary medicine board here, there is a lot of good advice.

Good luck, it must be quite difficult with an all consuming 4 year old and two younger ones.

Has your daughter been screened by a psychologist or the school CSE?  That would be a start and as for medication being on meds does not mean what happened to your brother would happen to your child.  If you work with a good psychologist and therapy and stay actively involved you lower your childs risk for that greatly from what I hear it is the un-treated that have more problems by self medicating.  There are alternatives to meds and I would never just go into that after diagnosis first of all your girl is young and the best start would be behavior modification a good plan may be all you need.  With Behavior mod you will have to make modifications as you go this board has Ograms marble system to try and a psychologist can recommend one specifically to your daughter.  Good luck. [QUOTE=out_of_ideas] well, I guess to start, I will introduce myself... I am a mother of three beautiful children, a girl (4), and two sons (2 and six months).  I myself am 26 and married.

Welcome aboard!

Now the problem that I am having has to do, with my daughter.  My husband and I are at an end with her, where we no longer know what to do to discipline her.  nothing seems to work...AT ALL!  My other two children are different then she is, and I can tell by the way they act.  My daughter never listens to anything we tell her, whether it be to clean her room, or to sit at the table properly.  She talks back rudely, pulls temper tantrums (no matter where), hits and fights with her 1 brother (the other is to young yet), as well as hitting me and my husband.  She never stops, it almost seems like she has an endless amount of energy.

There's a couple of things I might suggest:
Never say more than 3 sentences. Adhd children don't hear anything after that--the trains in our brains are 30 miles away by then.
MAKE SURE YOU HAVE EYE CONTACT. If we ain't lookin'--we ain't listenin'Keep everything short and sweet. You'll make no stronger effect with a day's grounding than you will with a 5 minute time-out.Try your best not to spank and yell. ADHD kids love excitement. Don't give it to them. Attention yes. Excitement--no.
Get the child a complete physical. Regardless of family history if this child has any physical struggles they will play out in behavior.Get a full psych assessment if you can. Yes, she's young but it may not be ADHD at allGet some psych support as a parent
Now I guess I should also mention that growing up, I had a slight ADD problem, but it never really effected me, and I was able to get by in the school system with no "real" problems.  My younger brother on the other hand was severely ADHD.  To the point that he was on six Ritalin a day.  I see a lot of the same problems that my parents had with my brother in my daughter. 

Medication choices are much better now. Research them just in case you decide to do that route later.

She just started pre-kindergarten this past September, and already I have had notes sent home telling me that my daughter was disrupting kids in her class.  My husband and I are out of ideas.  I am kinda against drugging her, as I watched my brother get addicted to his meds, then eventually become an illegal drug user. 

ADHD may not be all that happened to your brother either. Add it to some traumas and that cocktail can exponentially increase risk-taking behaviours. You can make a medication decision or not, later.

Right now--just focus on trying to make life a bit more manageable

What I am really looking for here is some ideas anything really, that can help us with her, cause I am at a point where I cry because of the way she is acting.  I guess that I should also mention that I suffer from OCD and anxiety as well as panic. 

You need to get some support for starters. You need to get out of the house or get some serious "me" time. If you're all freaked out, it's not going to help the situation.

I go with the Ogram's marble suggestion as well. Try it for a week--see if it helps.

How is hubby with this situation?

My issues are pretty much under control, but I would like a calm, on occasion quiet home....ANY IDEAS???
[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=out_of_ideas] well, I guess to start, I will introduce myself... I am a mother of three beautiful children, a girl (4), and two sons (2 and six months).  I myself am 26 and married. Now the problem that I am having has to do, with my daughter.  My husband and I are at an end with her, where we no longer know what to do to discipline her.  nothing seems to work...AT ALL!  My other two children are different then she is, and I can tell by the way they act.  My daughter never listens to anything we tell her, whether it be to clean her room, or to sit at the table properly.  She talks back rudely, pulls temper tantrums (no matter where), hits and fights with her 1 brother (the other is to young yet), as well as hitting me and my husband.
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I think others have offered wonderful suggestions.
The only thing I would add is, if it were me, I would choose my battles. In my opinion very few four year olds are great at cleaning their rooms or sitting at the table properly. Hitting, however, is, to me, unacceptable at any age. I might let some other things slide, but hitting would have to stop.
One book I found helpful is called How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk. I don't know if it's still in print, but you can probably find it somewhere. It offers some great positive suggestions for effective ways to get kids to cooperate. Good luck!
[QUOTE=inspiredbymusic]
[/QUOTE]
I think others have offered wonderful suggestions.
The only thing I would add is, if it were me, I would choose my battles. In my opinion very few four year olds are great at cleaning their rooms or sitting at the table properly. Hitting, however, is, to me, unacceptable at any age. I might let some other things slide, but hitting would have to stop.
One book I found helpful is called How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk. I don't know if it's still in print, but you can probably find it somewhere. It offers some great positive suggestions for effective ways to get kids to cooperate. Good luck!
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You hit the obvious nail on the head! "No hitting" is the best place to start in my book too
I agree with the previous posters, Medications are different these days and just because your brothewr went down that path doesn't mean your ds will. There is actual studies done that say an untreated perdson is more likely to self medicate than one who is medicated properly. well, I guess to start, I will introduce myself... I am a mother of three beautiful children, a girl (4), and two sons (2 and six months).  I myself am 26 and married. Now the problem that I am having has to do, with my daughter.  My husband and I are at an end with her, where we no longer know what to do to discipline her.  nothing seems to work...AT ALL!  My other two children are different then she is, and I can tell by the way they act.  My daughter never listens to anything we tell her, whether it be to clean her room, or to sit at the table properly.  She talks back rudely, pulls temper tantrums (no matter where), hits and fights with her 1 brother (the other is to young yet), as well as hitting me and my husband.  She never stops, it almost seems like she has an endless amount of energy. Now I guess I should also mention that growing up, I had a slight ADD problem, but it never really effected me, and I was able to get by in the school system with no "real" problems.  My younger brother on the other hand was severely ADHD.  To the point that he was on six Ritalin a day.  I see a lot of the same problems that my parents had with my brother in my daughter.  She just started pre-kindergarten this past September, and already I have had notes sent home telling me that my daughter was disrupting kids in her class.  My husband and I are out of ideas.  I am kinda against drugging her, as I watched my brother get addicted to his meds, then eventually become an illegal drug user.  What I am really looking for here is some ideas anything really, that can help us with her, cause I am at a point where I cry because of the way she is acting.  I guess that I should also mention that I suffer from OCD and anxiety as well as panic.  My issues are pretty much under control, but I would like a calm, on occasion quiet home....ANY IDEAS???
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