In The Morning | ADHD Information

quite profound. and well put!

If my son does not have time for his morning routine he is a bear. With the time he is easy going less pressured and has a better day.

[QUOTE=ommas]

In The Morning

hello

im ommas

i thought id share something with you all and you can take it or leave it.

I recently took a job in a locked juvenile treatment facility 8 months ago.

when i started it was a nightmare to me . making ocd,bi-polar,odd ,adhd boys comply with AM expectations.

i have adhd myself - i was drawn to the adhd kids asa group i could relate with .

rather than a guard ,i was trained as a theraputic staff to de-escalte behavior and manage unit evironments .

after the first 4 months i was learning from other staff what actually works and what is they ignore completly.

but a staffing issue occurred where i became a senior staff in only four months.

month five i was getting the brunt from other depts that my boys werent ready and arrived disorderly . which was the same compliant i always overherad my senior staff have to answer to.

by the end of month five i had gotten all new staff trained on how things have always been done - lets just say harsh tones to start and harsh consequinces for those who stayed in thier beds.

im 3rd shift

after we staff that remained became comfortable working as a team giving and taking advice with eachother . i checked the reigns of my units morning wake up. ordered a verbally abusive supervisor off the unit . i stepped into the twilight zone of uncertianty as i was frowned on by all supervisors therafter.

i placated him but let him know i wanted to do things my way and if i didnt call for him , i didnt need his help .he coiuld be on the unit but not to undermine us regular staff by being the head in charge - with attitude.

month six comes around

i started waking them up individually . taking time to speak softly . asking them questionds about breakfast , school , future plans ,

doing it this way kept them out of the unit hallway, . they were no longer per me allowed to watch tv , play cards, talk to eachother in hostile ways. or even be in the hall three or more at a time. nothing but reatrooms or cleaning thier area in thier room. at 6 TO 7 AM

the nurse would come

anyone being disruptive would br given over to the supervisor if they couldnt go back to thier room to calm down.

the rest of boys started lining up for breakfast ealy and quiet too.

finishing breakfast early somehow gave them time to be calm before going to thier education classes with in the facility.

by month seven boys put in holds due to aggressive behavior dropped from 100 to 15.

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while the higher ups pat eachother on back and the other shifts take responsibility and credit for keeping things under control i cant help but notice my influence .

ive been practicing proactive behavior. meaning

thier emotions distress build thoughout the day .

so if i can play a part , expecting them to stay void of conflict.

until they reach education. then some of them arent around any negitivity until after school after first shift.

so there they arrive back on their unit at 3pm with only 2 or 3 sent out from education due to non compliance. rather than a bunch off kids running the halls bullying eachother and arguing or being critical with staff.

why do i think my simple approach is a major factor rather than minor one.

they still use the harsh controlling wake up on my days off, and thats when they get put in holds on 2nd shift. - on my days off. go figure

ok if you read all that and youre still with me .

my point is frustration is major issue for adhd kids.

my emtional equation is this.

mornings void of stimulus without rush or frustrations delivers children to classes with rested and clear minds.

so i started applying this to myself as well.

my wake up time is preped before i go to bed .

so i have less to do and less to forget . minimizing anything stimulating before i get there.

i go to work early - then im ready for the challenge of racing minds that wont go sleep.

so to roll out the ole blame game for a minute . i wonder what my first period in highschool would have been like if my mother didnt use the NAGGAPHONE to get me out of bed. I mean not using nagging anger to make me so mad that i would finally get up? as an adult i avoid anger becuase it stresses me out and my adhd cognitive issues get worse and even forgettfulness symptoms too. ( flash back- my mom screaming at the top of her lungs from her bed "you better get out that god damn bed before i beat your ass". every once in while she would.)

so i started to see this as a trend even as the boys would leave and new ones would come along . staff waking them up by making them angry would generally have kids running the halls acting out against weaker kids at some point in the day.

while some staff still do to it - cause theyve lost that trust. as i was talking to one staff to try it - the calm genuinely intrested waker upper approach . he gave up in two days saying it doesnt work . i think to myself it took me two months to regain thier trust but i know it works.

In The Morning two-way respect is a "must have " expectation.

how do i really know this works . testing my emoitional equation theory.

i instructed the harsh staff to just sit and watch as he does paper work and i did it all. i woke them , made them take showers , made them stay in thier rooms, clean thier rooms get thier school work ready. line up for meds , line up for tranistion to the cafeteria, ate with them expected them to talk but quietly.

no incedent whatsoever

not even a +uckU off they went to education the other staff was shocked - it wasnt my regular day to work. when i cam on the and told them what i was going to do the ridiculed me in disbelief. while i relished in my accomplishment on the way home i put aside my pride and was glad for boys that are positve leaders on the unit to take the time in the morning to understand what i was trying to accomplish for them. they also helped make a change in thier environment and slowly watched the aggressive ones settle down as we wouldnt give the negative attention in the mornings,

[/QUOTE]

Ommas--the best mentor I ever had spent his first 10 years in a youth shelter. He said exactly what you did--he used to wake the kids up by placing coffee/tea/hot chocolate on their bedside and letting the smell waft over, then softly calling their names. Like you--he said it cut down the rebellion rate dramatically.

I told you before--whatever your paperwork qualifications are--for you to think that through, so practically and methodically and get others on board with it--you are a REAL PRO and...

I am not fond of workers, as you know--but with your attitude, critical thinking skills and ability as an ADHD'er to see everything going on at once--I'd work with you in a heartbeat and be proud to do it.

You are just ahead of your time. Someday the world might catch up.

I loved your posts Ommas. It was a great reminder to all of us to try to keep things together in the morning (often, easier said than done). But, tomorrow morning I will be thinking about you and giving it my best shot.

Thanks!

Looks like you found your niche in life and can teach the others how to work with the teens better. I started with DSS in April and am starting to get teens on my caseload with different issues so I will keep your ideas in mind to tell my frustrated parents. My title is Preventative Services i am the step after CPS. Awesome job, ommas. You are the role model that these boys sorely need.

ommas: Great job on your improvements with kids. You should be proud.

rswf: Agreed. Things do do smoother with a more relaxed, less chacotic morning.

I had to laugh at myself this morning. My daughter and I needed to head out early for a before school appointment. Knowing that she doesn't liked to be rushed, I made the following comment to her as I was helping her get dressed. "You need to hurry up and get dressed so we don't have to rush later." We both just stopped and had to laugh.

[QUOTE=HorseMom]

[/QUOTE]

It's so true though.

great post ommas!!! I do know if my dd has a bad morning, the rest of the day will wont run smoothly!

and that is funny but true horsemom!!

I totally agree! I notice on the days that I have more patience my children respond to me better. The problem is that none of us are morning people and I tend to wake up rather grouchy myself. Always have! But, I guess that comes with the ADHD territory.

gbfe

ommas39765.5347800926

I read the whole thing.

Makes sense even for us non ADHD'rs - chaos in the a.m. does not make for a good start to the day.

I have a very defiant teen and we do all we can to keep the mornings calm. Makes a happier day for everyone.