Son caught stealing and lying | ADHD Information

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I agree with the thoughts that it is NOT an ADHD thing, it is a kid thing. I would handle it the way you would for any other children. I don't think it is so much under the impusive behavior that is ADHD, it is impulsive behavior that ALL kids have a "touch" of.

 

 

Metis he was so bad he never made it 2 steps out of the book faire. He did have to return the book and his teacher had a long talk with him and mentioned that the ADHD was not an excuse to steal. So there will be consequences at school as well as home. I didn't want to make it too severe because I remember growing up how I was punished all the time and I rebelled tremeandously. I just wanted to bite him in the a@% where it would sting a little. He then asked this morning, to please have money to buy a puzzle book and I told him I didn't think they would let him back in, but gave him the money because he asked correctly and told him so. I told him to be prepared to not be let back in.

Stealing from the book fair, does that sound familiar!  But I'm on the other side of it, as I am the chairperson for the fair at our school (which means I'm pretty much the only volunteer!).  Don't get too freaked out, I've seen lots of kids steal or at least think about it. I can always tell when they are thinking about it because I keep getting the shifty eyes as they move around the displays, usually clutching a small "add-on" item that comes from a different area. Unfortunately for you, you'll never hear about those other kids that may or may not have gotten caught, unless the kids talk about it in class. Be assured that your child wasn't the only one. Stealing isn't right under any circumstances and you are addressing it as you see fit, but kids from all walks and all situations have stolen something. Not all kids, just all kinds of kids. I wouldn't worry about this becoming a vocation! < =text/>_popupControl();

I thought you refused to take the game away?

I would use the game as a reward for taking the meds he obviously so desperately needs., no meds, no game. I agree with the impaired judgement thing, it works that way for everyone.  I would also use the report card to mkae him take the meds, take things away and refuse to give them back and I bet he will comply.

edbson, we took the game away for a short period 3 days,with a regular child this would work. With my son it does absolutly nothing but cause anger and resentment. We were told by his therapist to not bring up the meds except to offer. We have tried bribes, taking things away not a thing works. It just causes more problems with anger. At least now it is livable around here. spamula39416.3025 [QUOTE=spamula]This is so not my son I couldn't hardly believe it. 1st he got caught lying this morning and throwing his Zoloft out in the sink. Then this afternoon I got a call from his teacher that he tried to steal a book from the book fair at school. This is not like him at all. The impulsivity is getting worse. He will lose recess and lunch today at school and he is grounded from playing his new video game(ahhh the horror) He seemed upset for a minute then just didn't care. Who's son is this? This worries me if he is already doing this at 9, what will happen later, non medicated. I love him dearly but ADHD is no excuse to steal. I have it and I know from experience. I do not want him to live the hard life I had to endure to become a better person. It was hell.[/QUOTE]


Breath mom--BREATH.  I know this one hurts you and freaks you out.

Stealing a book from the book fair isn't all that unusual a behaviour in a 9-year-old. Shoplifting is one of those things that more than half of kids around that age try, at least once.

He isn't a professional cat burgler yet

Did you find out if any of the kids were involved in a "I dare ya" game or WHY he did it? Obviously he's not very good at it--or very smart about it either.

Did you make him take it back to the book fair booth owner and apologize? That seems to be the most effective consequence I've ever heard from anyone who had that experience as a child. Taking away the vid game proves it's bad--but it isn't the obvious social/public consequence to the action of stealing. If you can do this--it's the obvious solution added to his video game removal.


You were right and this and the report card will be used to push the stimulant issue once more. The teacher already has. We have been using words like impulsivity and impluse problems around here lately to set up the whole issue. We did talk yesterday about the book thing and he fessed right up. I think he's feeling the sting of the video game loss right now.This is so not my son I couldn't hardly believe it. 1st he got caught lying this morning and throwing his Zoloft out in the sink. Then this afternoon I got a call from his teacher that he tried to steal a book from the book fair at school. This is not like him at all. The impulsivity is getting worse. He will lose recess and lunch today at school and he is grounded from playing his new video game(ahhh the horror) He seemed upset for a minute then just didn't care. Who's son is this? This worries me if he is already doing this at 9, what will happen later, non medicated. I love him dearly but ADHD is no excuse to steal. I have it and I know from experience. I do not want him to live the hard life I had to endure to become a better person. It was hell.Have you tried talking to him about taking stimulants again? Maybe the incentive of better behavior so no loss of video game will be enough this time?  Maybe there is a silver lining to the video game obsession? 

I know you're worried but did you ask him about the book thing?  I always look too far down the road and all it does is make me more anxious. 

Didn't you say he wasn't sleeping enough because of the game obsession?  I know it impairs my judgment when I'm tired.  Maybe it's no more than that.