sound familiar???? | ADHD Information

thanks, I dont really think she's being unrealistic. She does know about my older daughters diagnosis, but dont think it's infuencing her comments. She doesnt expect her to sit for six straight hours, but does expect her to be able to get instructions for a worksheet and be able to complete it. They work in centers and do a million worksheets a day. I may have to think about having this altered as she does have a handwriting delay and maybe some of this "inattention" is due to the difficulty she has with writing. She is allowing me to modify homework if I feel it necessary, but neither of us want to start modifying for her unless it's necessary.

They are not both at the same school, but we are a VERY small town and only have one elementary school and one middle school, everyone knows each other.

Ok, I'm going to the devils advocate. Five year olds are not organized. Organization is a learned skill. My son's school even sent home a memo stating this, telling us parents that this is a skill that we need to actively teach. A large majority of five year olds have problems with transitions. And certainly most five year olds cannot complete a multiple step instructions. You should research this, but I don't think that is even an expection for a kindergartener. "Respect" is a totally subjective word. Maybe it's saying NO! Or maybe it's not immediately dropping the coloring to come to circle time. Or maybe it's stalling for thirty seconds after receiving an instructions. I have personally been astounded by teacher's definitions of "disrespect." I think the real telltale sign is --- is she learning in the classroom? I don't know about you, but my ADHD son DID NOT learn in the K classroom. I taught him 90% of what he needed to know at home. At the time, I did not realize that he was not learning because he was not paying attention. I just wondered why in the world they were not teaching my son anything. Homework time was actually core learning time for him. You may have a very difficult time discerning this because I believe that you taught your child almost the entire K year before the year ever started.

I think it is human nature to be influenced by knowledge of your other child's dx. People judge. Ugly, but true. It colors the background, maybe only subconsciously and heightens awareness. There is the impulse to look for things that may not be there, and of course since many 5 year olds display ADHD symptoms, it's easy to "see."

I have experienced my five year old being pigeoned-holed right out of the gate based for the most part on the behavior of her older sibling. I have also talked to another parent currently experiencing what appears to be the same thing. Her older child has many issues, she is knowledgeable, and in her heart she feels that her kindergartner does not have these issues. I am going to give my five year old a fresh slate. She will be going to a different elementary school than my ADHD son so that she can be judged based on her own performance only.

OK, I'm not quite panicking yet.............but.............

Had teacher conference for my 5 year old last week. She is not diagnosed with anything. She has always been...........well............busy .............anyway she has some fine motor delay being dealt with and some social delay also being handles. She's made vast improvement across the board since we started a behavior plan and therapies at school for fine motor, we got this by my pushing....HARD....to evaluate at 3.

Anyway, this year, she's 5 1/2 in K, teacher says she's hacing some issues with transitions and "respecting authority" (nice huh). She seems "disoganized in her work", although how organized are 5 y.o. 2 months into school, and seems to have some problems paying attention or completing multi step tasks . Sound familiar.....................

I'm not sure what to think, my oldest is SO inattentive and easily distracted, and has so much trouble learning (but has coexisitng LD), I keep comparing them and feeling my youngest is not like her. I'm not sure my youngest isnt further ahead because we've done a solid behavior plan for years, and she'd be worse if we hadnt. So we'll start Omega's and keep plugging, but boy am I praying it's maturity and we dont have to do this with BOTH kids.................those of you who know me know the nightmare we've had with meds, up until now.

Not looking for anything here, just needed to throw it out there if you know what I mean. Oh unless any of you with TWO ADHD kids want to tell me how it's so much better the second time around............ Or tell me, dont worry about it she's fine.....thats EVEN BETTER .

Are both of your children at the same school, or if not, does the K teacher have knowledge about your older child's dx?

Get the teacher to write down all her expectations for you.

That way you can:
make it concrete. If the teacher is being non-concrete she may realize that she is unreaslistic in her expectationsyou can decide if those expectations are reasonable [expecting any kid under 12 to sit down quietly for 6 hours is completely unrealistic]
if the child can't comply with realistic expectations then you can decide if it's a phase or permanent situationif the child cannot comply you can see which areas she cannot comply with--and thus have accurate information to give if you need an assessment

Diane,

We all rely on you to help us hold it together. First of all, don't panic!! Even if your five year old has ADHD too, you will be prepared this time around. You've done your research and know about your options. The med issue may be completely different this time around, if that is what eventually happens.

I'm sure that you are ahead of the game because of your experience with your other little person. Try not to compare them, I know that's way easier said than done though.

I do agree with Notellin. What five year is organized??

Take a deep breath. You can do this!

"Our Children are Precious in His Sight"

I wouldn't panic.  It could very well be the motor skills that is distracting her.  I would ask her how she feels about all the writing and if it is hard for her to keep up with.  My youngest was the first to be diagnosed. When the teachers were hinting about my oldest (second and third grade) I was dealing with a hyper three year that was making me pull my hair out.  But in learning about my youngest's adhd I was able to see in my oldest some of the same things.  He isn't hyper and would and still does do the same thing he is interested in forever.  It is when he isn't interested in what is going on that he wanders.  I would have the teacher and yourself just moniter her behavior and see where it takes you. 

Diane, you are one of the stongest ones here and I know you can handle whatever comes your way. Me I would jumo off a bridge.

I'm not REALLY panicking and know I can handle it, just being selfish...........I dont want to. As everyone knows becaue of your own lives, my oldest is SO much work, every secdon, and really so is my youngest.....but it's different.....

I'm so tired of thinking about it every second...........plus we are in a good place with my oldest........she's BELIEVE ME, so ADHD, but is getting good grades and seeming to have good success so far with Strattera without side effects, this is the first time we've been at this place.

I know every concern there is with my youngest can be explained, it's the fact that we have a group of concerns thats worrying me.

NoTellin, thank you, you're right, if she's learning, nothing's getting in her way. The respect thing is about her saying NO and according to the teacher it's her "tone". Also her making noises during meeting and not stopping when asked....so I realize these  things are kind of silly comments at this point.

I do think they have SO much wrting and cutting that this all part of it, so we'll have to see what happens AFTER the holidays, and decide if they should modify her work, but again, for now, I want to keep her at pace with the other kids........

I promise I'm not jumping off any bridges . I was just thinking since oldest has such a struggle with school, I deserved an easy one this time.....silly me .

I'll be doing times tables until I retire

 

I really hear you Diane!  I have an 11 year old ds with adhd and a 5 year old dear daughter.  My son isn't really hyper at all, just silly, so he was not diagnosed until the 3rd grade.  But his attention problems are very severe.  He has had some benefit with meds but not the dramatic changes some kids have so we still struggle and work very hard.  I have driven myself CRAZY with wondering if dd has it!

When she was a baby, I decided she didn't have it because she breast fed easily (I had no success with my son.)  Then potty training came and she trained in about a week while my son took years!  I had no idea other people had it this easy.

When my son was in 3rd grade and my daughter was 3, I took her to a music class one night a week.  To be honest, it was really for me to get out of the house and get away from the grueling homework grind with my son. (Dh just doesn't really have the patience to make sure this kid gets his homework donewithout it escalating to tears, etc.)  To my surprise, my daughter could not sit in the circle to sing for more than a few moments.  I was devastated.  Instead of a relaxing, fun night with my daughter, I was constantly chasing her around the room while every single other kid was in the circle singing, banging their instruments, etc.  The teacher often switched to dancing activities mainly because of my daughter.  I know I should have been able to handle this, it was just that it was my one night off!

Now my daughter is in preschool and doing well.  Her teacher at conferences called her "adult like"- I can tell you I have never heard those words about my son.  I am currently thinking she is probably not adhd.  Of course, I may change my mind again next year!

I think we cannot help wondering about it because an adhd child is SO MUCH WORK.  It takes so much psychic energy to keep things positive and to help your child when life is so challenging for them.  When I think of having to work that hard again with my daughter, I wonder if I have the energy! 

Bubbles - EXACTLY!

Dianne,