Why tell anyone anything?
Take your meds and judge yourself.
Good luck, and Merry Christmas!
[QUOTE=millertime]Hi everyone,
Hello!
I'm 23, male, and a college student. I was just diagnosed with ADHD yesterday, and I'm hitting a few stumbling blocks already. First and foremost, although I strongly suspect that I do in fact have ADHD, the 30 minute "do you have low motivation in the morning" style interview with a total stranger (first time I've ever been to a psychiatrist) and his eagerness to get me on medication left me very unsettled. Is this "Hi, good to meet you, you're ADD and here are your meds, goodbye" interaction with psychiatrists common? I've never been inclined to pour my heart out and have someone hold my hand while we talk about how tough life is, but his all-business style did seem a bit unsettling. Now, please excuse me while I pour my heart out to all your strangers.. ;-)
I am 34, female and was diagnosed this year. I certainly understand why that brusque interview style left you unsettled. There seems to be a HUGE difference in how ADHD is diagnosed across the psychiatric community. There are many people who had experiences similar to yours - and some who went through all sorts of testing and interviews before being diagnosed. I am sort of in the middle but I have other issues that needed to be addressed before confirming ADHD (co-morbid disorders that developed secondary to ADHD).
The general consensus is that many of the psychological "tests" really are not accurate barometers of the disorder. Many people with ADHD are able to focus during tests and so results can be inconsistent.
Depending on how much of a history your doctor took there is a good chance that he could diagnose you easily. You could definitely get a second opinion if that would make you feel better.
And BTW - although ALL doctors should be somewhat empathetic of their patients, psychiatrists are all about symptoms and treatment. Psychologists are focused more on your state of mind and struggles from an emotional point of view. Psychiatrists (most, anyway) just deal with medication. I think a lot of people believe psychiatrist = psychologist and so they can be put off by their demeanor because it wasn't what they expected.
The more I browse this board, the more convinced I am that there is in fact something real to it. This is in strong opposition to the few friends I've mentioned this to, who immediately say "bullsh*t, you're fine." I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I do think I'm a pretty smart guy, and people close to me tend to agree. I've read that ADHD can often lurk undetected in "bright" people, who develop coping strategies - my main one is deception, sadly. Not usually out-right lying (though it does happen when people ask me about school, etc.), but a general attitude that everything is great in my life, while I'm secretly drowning in the plethora of different responsibilities I can never seem to organize or motivate myself to do.
ADHD does lurk in bright people. I have a 170 IQ and a musical gift that I abandoned due to lack of confidence - even though I had been a soloist with a major symphony orchestra at the age of 14! This is why I was not diagnosed until now. I don't mention this to brag (believe me, I have always seen myself as an underachiever no matter how well I have done). The point is that there are very intelligent and gifted people out there who have ADHD and are affected by it. I am sure that there are other people on this board who can match or exceed my achievements.
Even though I have never felt "normal" in my life I did well in school. And the way you feel is common - or at least I felt that way and understand completely. Everyone around me believed that I had it made and my life was going to be easy and so they were envious. They had no idea how much I was struggling to just do everyday things.
I think the secrecy in everything I do has kept me off the radar, though getting suspened (1 year academic probation) from the University did certainly alarm some. When my Mom asked what happened, I told her I was depressed because of unrequited love. While this was true, I'd been struggling with school since before High School (she was aware of this) and was really just using it as an excuse for why I didn't perform. Everyone just thinks I need to learn better study habits, be more disciplined, etc. I've always thought that way, myself, and it's eating me up wondering whether that's really the only thing wrong - or whether I've been fighting a losing battle against my own brain chemistry all these years.
College was when I hit the wall. I was a little younger than you (21) when everything fell apart. I had a terrible time in college because I had to self-motivate and regulate. No one was there to make sure I went to class and if it was a subject that I found boring (MATH!) I would blow it off. My transcript is dotted with "incomplete" or "withdrawl" grades because I dropped so much stuff....
I DID become depressed. I developed panic disorder that was debilitating enough that I had to drop a semester and go home. I was agoraphobic so I really couldn't even leave the house without having intense anxiety.
I did recover, but the underlying feeling of being "not quite right" stuck with me. I also had shame and guilt because I felt like an undisciplined, spoiled brat even though I really did try to get my act together. I LIKE school so I didn't understand why I was trying to sabotage myself.
I ended up dropping out of college after 5 years. I walked away from music because I hated to practice. Talent got me a long ways on its own, but I was convinced in the core of my being that I needed to get serious about practicing if I was ever going to get a good job as a musician. I just COULD NOT sit in a room and practice anything to perfection for HOURS. It was maddening for me.
Since I'm still so hesitant to accept it myself, I'm even more hesitant to start telling everyone I know about it. My girlfriend was shocked when I came home from the psychiatrist yesterday with a prescription for adderal (I hadn't even told her I thought I had a problem). She had a brief period in High School where she was using meth and was seriously concerned by the implication that I'm going to be riding high on amphetamine's all day, every day. Addiction potential and other factors aside, she said she "loves this me" and doesn't want to see me turn into someone else. I'm in the same boat. Although she's coming around, her doubts about the legitimacy of my diagnosis are even greater than my own. She agreed that it was worth it to try taking the meds for a month to see how it goes.
One thing to keep in mind is that "meth" and Adderall are not the same thing. "Meth" is a cooked up drug that is made from all sorts of horrible things and it can kill you. Adderall is an actual amphetamine compound in its pure form that honestly, is not really a drug of choice for meth or other drug abusers. It is more commonly distributed amongst college kids trying to pull all-nighters and do well in school.
The other thing to realize is that medication should NOT change your personality. Many people are afraid that it will, but it doesn't. Your girlfriend is probably more shocked by the fact that she had no idea you had an issue than anything. It is hard to go from believing your boyfriend was a totally normal, well-adjusted guy to suddenly hearing that you suffer from a mental disability - never mind the fact that ADHD has a LOT of negative connotations out there.
Today was my first full day on it (class and all) and there was a definite improvement. I'm usually very socially awkward until I get comfortable with people. Nothing makes me more anxious than that first day of class when
everyone goes around introducing themselves. If I'm lucky, and not first to go, I'll sit and tune out all those introductions while I plan what I'm going to say. Of course, when it is my turn, I'm hit with a panic that has been growing as my turn drew closer. I begin to shake, my brain shuts down, and my heart pounds; those plans have evaporated and I'm sitting there barely able to form a coherent sentence.
Yup, I can relate. Been there, done that.
Today - on the adderal - I was able to give an oral presentation of the poem I wrote, with all eyes and ears on me. While I was still nervous as hell, the severity of all those things was significantly lessened. I wasn't the King of Presentations, but I got through it much better than I would have without the med. When I got home, I actually got things done, rather than just try and find ways to distract myself.
That's great! Then it is doing what it should.
Here's the real problem, though. We're nearing on Christmas and I have no idea what, if anything, to tell my parents. If my girlfriend and friends are any indication, they're not going to believe me. It is so incredibly frustrating that there is no physiological test they can do to confirm the diagnosis, both to allay my own fears and theirs. How do you prove to yourself and to others that you have ADHD?
Ah, here we come to the meat of it.
Well, it is very likely that your parents will react the same way, especially if you hid your struggles as a kid well enough and they never saw that you had an issue.
I recommend that you get some books on ADHD. Some GREAT ones are written by Dr Edward Hallowell. They are "Driven to Distraction" and "Delivered from Distraction". They are easily readable and very informative. The more educated on this disorder you become, the easier it will be for you to accept. After all, ADHD cannot be cured, only managed. Medication is one aspect of this, but there are other more behavioral treatments that are critical in order to manage ADHD and grow.
Also, you do not need to "prove" your ADHD to anyone. What you must do is educate yourself and accept it yourself. Support from others is ideal and of course, important. However, you are the one in control of how you react to this diagnosis.
My parents were not surprised and actually it seemed like all the odd pieces of my life fit together. Of course as I mentioned above, I had issues prior to this diagnosis so everyone in my family knew that SOMETHING was up with me. No one could ever figure out what it was before now.
My husband has been enduring my constant state of "scatter-brained" for 5 years and so he was happy to find out that I might be able to get a handle on this. Turns out he has it too and now he is also taking medication (Strattera) that helps him a lot. That is its own long story....
I don't tell very many people about my ADHD. I told a good friend of mine, who was actually a former workmate (in a sense). He works as a field rep and I was his inside sales rep so we "worked" together but he is 300 miles away. Although he and I have met and get together 1-2 times a year he has no real idea of what my daily life is like because he is never HERE. He believes me, but is constantly telling me that everything I experience is totally normal. I really think he does believe it is normal because he experiences it too....he just hasn't caught on (or won't admit) to the fact that HE PROBABLY HAS IT TOO!
Anyway, I don't tell anyone else because it doesn't really matter. They don't have to know and I don't need to try and convince them of the validity of it. It feels like it is so easy to spend my life trying to explain it to people and I don't want there to be that much focus on this. My support system knows, I am being treated and therefore I am happy and feel like it has been put in the right perspective.
If you go into that conversation with your parents having educated yourself about ADHD and sounding like you know what you are talking about, it may help. If your girlfriend sees a positive difference and comes around, maybe she can support you. Hopefully they will listen and have a positive response. But you need to believe it yourself before you can expect them to really hear you.
Good luck and welcome to the board!!
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Welcome Millertime! Your ADHD beginning sounds just like mine--diagnosis in half and hour, prescription for Adderall, first experience on Adderall in a group setting absolutely amazing.... spooky!!
It (Adderall) didn't remain my miracle drug...just the first few weeks! Then we settled down and I slowly came to realize that the meds only help, not cure! So, enjoy the "honeymoon" but don't throw away all your moxie and determination 'cause it'll likely come in handy as you discover more about yourself and your ADHD.
My two-cents worth of advice is to lay low in terms of telling family and friends what's up for a while. Especially those college friends who will come a runnin' around exam time for some of your Adderall!! Even if you tell your friends, you don't have to tell them what medication you use (or that you use any). And as for your parents at Christmas time... I suggest you not derail their enjoyment of your being home during this special time of year with the ADHD bombshell. That can come at some later time when there's less going on.
ps. even though I was convinced I had ADHD before the psychiatrist diagnosed me, I went around for a whole year afterwards still wondering.... only after reading and reading and more reading, plus having a neuropsych exam did I allow myself to settle down and accept that it was ADHD. And what I was warned was correct--most of the books on ADHD just repeat the same old stuff, most of which is based on kid studies. As you've already alluded to, we clever bright adults have highly refined masking techniques that work for all (most of the time) but ourselves.
Hey, Millertime, I understand. I think one of the reasons I've gone so long without getting a doc's opinion is...the thought of telling my family freaks me out! We're pretty close, so it's hard for me to "cover up". I come from a long line of whizkids, and I once WAS a whizkid, until I couldn't hold a decent conversation or remember what I'd heard or read or studied. I was a brain, then became a lot of wasted potential. I worry that my relatives will see ADD (or whatever, I haven't been to the doc yet) as an excuse for decades of poor performance. Like your girlfriend, my husband likes me the way I am. He does admit that occasionally it's like going to Disneyland and being on all the rides at once, but he deals with it. Your girlfriend is probably an amazing, loving, patient, tolerant person like my husband. Pinch yourself and make sure it's not a dream! You are lucky! Tell her that! She'll love to hear it.I had so much that I wanted to contribute but it looks like others have already covered most all the bases!
If you are ADD/ADHD and you need the Adderal it's not the same as someone who is taking it to "get high." You are taking it to obtain normalcy, I don't think addiction is an issue.
Why tell people? If they notice a difference then you can decide if they need to know. Then it can become a positive explanation that they can't argue with the benefits you have derived from your chosen treatment. Only my husband and children know that I take Strattera. My husband, in case of health emergencies and my children (grown sons-one ADD/one ADHD)in hopes they will understand that they too can still benefit from meds.
Good Luck and Happy Holidays!
-----I'm 23, male, and a college student. I was just diagnosed with ADHD yesterday, and I'm hitting a few stumbling blocks already. First and foremost, although I strongly suspect that I do in fact have ADHD, the 30 minute "do you have low motivation in the morning" style interview with a total stranger (first time I've ever been to a psychiatrist) and his eagerness to get me on medication left me very unsettled. Is this "Hi, good to meet you, you're ADD and here are your meds, goodbye" interaction with psychiatrists common? I've never been inclined to pour my heart out and have someone hold my hand while we talk about how tough life is, but his all-business style did seem a bit unsettling. Now, please excuse me while I pour my heart out to all your strangers.. ;-)-----
I'm going to a psychiatrist this Tuesday to confirm whether or not I have ADD (personally, I think I do!) and have been wondering the same thing. I've never been to the person before so I have no idea what to expect. I will say this, though: if I perceive that this doctor is going to treat me this way, I'll walk out and find someone else.
---I'd been struggling with school since before High School (she was aware of this) and was really just using it as an excuse for why I didn't perform. Everyone just thinks I need to learn better study habits, be more disciplined, etc. I've always thought that way, myself, and it's eating me up wondering whether that's really the only thing wrong - or whether I've been fighting a losing battle against my own brain chemistry all these years.---
Sounds like what people have told me from time to time through the years. Am glad you were able to find out about and get help at 23; I was 30 years old before it occurred to me that ADD might be what was affecting me (I'm 31 now).
Jason
Hello, I'm new here as well. Actually tonight is the first time I've found this website. The original post summed up a lot of the things I've been dealing with for years!! The first response did as well, I'm an athlete and musician but only got to the levels I did because of talent(not trying to brag), I certainly didn't put in the practice time that I should have.
I have been taking adderall for a little while and I find it very helpful. However I find that i'm always seeking more. I can tell when it wears off or when I haven't taken it and my mind goes nuts! I'm all over the place, it feels like I'm running 100 mph just to keep up but really not getting anywhere or anything done. Then if I take an extra one I end up being awake most of the night.
When I take it, the everyday realities of life don't seem so overwhelming and I'm able to tackle each one as it comes. The fact that I feel this way about a pill scares me! I don't want to be dependant on anything. Shouldn't I be strong enough to face these things on my own like everyone else? I don't talk about these feelings with anyone. My fiance is very supportive of me in every way but even she doesn't know about some of these fears. I'm afraid my family would want me to go back to counciling(I went for depression for a little bit) and I HATED it!! It didn't help me at all, it just made me feel uncomfortable and unsure of myself.
I'm sorry, I'm not trying to steal your thread. I can relate strongly to what has been said here and just started unloading. My advice to you would be to try it....carefully and see how it goes. Make sure you take the dosage prescribed to you and learn how your body reacts to it.