Am I over reacting? | ADHD Information
[QUOTE=Willsmama]I got a call from Will's teacher today stating that he cut his hair and I may want to check him out. So I ran up there and found him in the lunchroom. He has absolutely butchered the top of his head. He cut a fist full or more on the top of his head right down to the scalp and did a major bangs trimming.
He looks like he has the mange and it's just terrible.
[/QUOTE]I know that you feel horrible about this, but I have to tell you that your description made me laugh, especially the mange part . Don't take it too hard. When my son does crazy stuff that isn't harmful or destructive, we take pictures and tell him that we will show them at his wedding (all the while wondering who in the world will ever put up with him). In a few months, we look back and have a good laugh. My son took a shaver a few years ago and put a bald spot right in the center of his melon. He looked ridiculous for a few weeks, but what'r'ya gonna do?
Hopefully, it'll calm down during break. I was wondering -- is his blood pressure high? Why wouldn't they have put him on Tenex since it helps ADHD and BP? Just curious. (Or maybe it's low, which would explain that.)
my daughter did this last year at age 12! Actually not cut the whole front off, just a small piece in the back. I would not worry about it either, be glad he's a boy 
.
I can't help but be upset and worry about this.
He's trimmed before but this is horrible. I can't even look at him without feeling sick.
And to add to it, all of the sudden, he's this totally different kid. He was loud and out of control all weekend, even my family commented.
Plus this morning, his dad found him up playing the Xbox, which he KNOWS he is not allowed to do. Then he lied and said he had already had breakfast, which he did not.
These may seem like small things, but they are all adding up and taking a toll of our family.
He has been doing so well the past few months, and it's just such a slap in the face.
This is day 4 of the "new" behavior.
Willsmama39434.2941203704It could be the stress of the holiday season, my DD has been "out of sorts" for a few days. It IS stressful for her, seeing the gifts under the tree, wondering what is in there, waiting...OMG the waiting to open them! And what will Santa bring? SHe told me yesterday she is feeling "excited" and cannot help her attitude.try to wait these behaviors out until after the holidays if you can. I hear you, when you start to see all those little behaviors cropping up, usually somethings up.
No one is blowing off your feelings of being upset, everyone has been upset when their children have cut their hair, we're just trying to help you understand it's not crazy out there behavior, our kids have done it to.................
Thanks, Diane.
I understand what you're saying.
I guess I'm just so upset with myself. He's been doing so well these past few months, that I've been really excited about Christmas thinking that this is going to be our best one yet. Now, I just almost don't even want to face it.
I posted last week about his blood pressure. He was put on Zestril and it's now controlled. Does anyone think that maybe this new med could be causing some of this?
I'm waiting for the dr's office to open so I can ask him. I just remember him asking me last week if there's been any changes in him since he started taking it.
Wow, we do share a story, my boys also have their father's ears!!
I meant to also say that it's hard for these kiddos to be couped inside all of the time. It's too cold, icy or rainy (whatever!) to go outside. Parents are pre-occupied with daily life/chores along with now the Christmas hustle...it's hard on them, too. Imagine if we feel stressed, how they must feel. And they simply just do not have the coping mechanisms to handle it. (Neither do we some times!!) He probaby thought it was a grand ole time cutting his hair!!
But his hair will grow back and so will your pride in him! 
It's a sure thing! Just take a time-out for everyone and find something you can enjoy as a family. My boys love to bake, especially my ADHDer. He loves it. It keeps his hands and mind busy and there's nothing to fight about! And we all get a treat in the end, besides the cookie-a special memory and a good time.
(make him wear a hat 
)
Funny you should say that, I did make him wear a hat yesterday. I just couldn't stand to look at his precious little head.
I'm having a hard time with the discipline end of this. I don't ever want him to do this again, and I'm just so upset with him. it's hard to let it go too when I see his pale white scalp staring me down.
I wouldn't worry. It's just hair, it will grow back. I would definately take his picture and put it on the fridge for a while, so he remembers not to do it again. Then I would make sure and keep his hair short, the way he apparently likes it. Heh, heh! I have a friend with two daughters, both of whom who have done this a few times at various ages. She doesn't do anything about it, because it's their hair, after all, and if they think they can do it, it's not hurting her at all, and they have to live with the consequences. Now, if they were doing self-tattooing....!!!! BPQW39434.558599537Discipline is hard because he already knew not to do it. It was done on impulse.
You know I guess you could just make him cut and cut and cut on some paper and into a trash can. Make him cut 'til he's so sick of it he won't do it again. DH made our ds bang on a wooden bar stool for hitting (in kindergarten) and he was so upset after about 5 minutes of it! we haven't had trouble since. We, of course, explained to him that hands are not for hitting friends (or anyone else, for that matter). You could do the same. You could use the same approach. Just let him cut and cut. I don't know if it'll work for you but it doesn't hurt and at least for those minutes he's cutting the paper you know it's not his hair!
My suggestion is to take a picture of him as he is currently. Put it in a very safe place and torment him with it when he gets older, just as someone mentioned earlier! I liked the idea.
Raising children is a very hard job, it amazes me still that you don't have to get a permit or something to have them 
! And their little stunts they pull just add to the question of it all...WHY??
Hold strong, though, he surely won't be cutting his hair like that when he is in his teens. He'll be too concerned with looks to do it then!
God love him.... He came home from school, went straight to his and put a hat on. When I was going thru his backpack, I found a card he made me. He apologized and said he would behave in school and at home. It made me cry and I will always treasure it.
He's so senstive and tender and it just breaks my heart..
Gosh I wish that stuff would grow out overnight!
I told him I called the dr today and we're going to try a different med. He said, will it make my hair grow back fast?
That's the first smile I've had in 24 hours...
. Cute
poor kid though, he'll learn from this!
I got a call from Will's teacher today stating that he cut his hair and I may want to check him out. So I ran up there and found him in the lunchroom. He has absolutely butchered the top of his head. He cut a fist full or more on the top of his head right down to the scalp and did a major bangs trimming.
He looks like he has the mange and it's just terrible. He is 8.5 years and I think too old to be doing this stuff even with ADHD, and being 3 years behind in maturity.
My question is, should I be panicking like I am, or should I chalk it up to an impulse thing. Is this a sign of self mutilation or am I over reacting.?
Right now I am just sick to death over this.
He feels bad that he's upset me so much but doesn't seem too upset over it.
It sounds like an impulsive thing to me, DD has always been a hair cutter, until about 6, I would find little pieces of hair all over the house, And she doesn't have ADHD. Maybe he did it for attention or it is anxiety related?
He has trimmed his hair before but this is so much more than that. He has a huge bald spot!
I just don't understand it. He was doing so well up until now. His teacher even said he was having a great morning right before it happened.
If it makes you feel any better, I work in a hair salon and see this often. Yes, your son is a little older, but I've definitely seen it. Most kids are under 5, but I have seen many kids come in that need a quick buzz to cover any evidence of a "do it yourself". Just cut his hair really short. My son did it last year at age 4. He grabbed my clippers and cut the front. Right before Christmas, too
Oh my, don't worry yourself about this. My ADHD son did it in kindergarten, then he did it in first grade (oh, and the first grade teacher acted like he needed a thorough psyche eval because of it -- but I thought maybe she did!!). My non-ADHD daughter did it last month; she's just over 5. It's just impulse, and it's common for ALL kids to do this. Get him one of those buzz cuts. It will be great. He won't have to brush his hair for at least a month.
[QUOTE=Willsmama]I told him I called the dr today and we're going to try a different med. He said, will it make my hair grow back fast?
[/QUOTE]He's great
. And he's had enough self-induced punishment for one day. Hi Joy,
He put him on Zestril because his blood pressure was high. His dr said that he would rather try that medication because it would work faster and better than the Tenex. I did ask him that last week.
When he called me back this morning, he put him on the Tenex. We will check him out in a few weeks to see how everything is going and perhaps we will be able to control his bp with just the Tenex.
We start it tomorrow but I heard that it takes 3 weeks to show improvement.
We also have an appt with a pediatric cardiologist but of course, they cannot see us until February because his bp is under control with the meds. I just want to know WHY his bp was so high the other week.
I think I'm catching this late, but I wanted to let you know that our son is 6 and he, too, loves to cut his hair!! Right up the front! So, needless to say, we just keep his hair in a buzz cut. Think that eliminated it? Nope, he cut his shirt!! 
I feel where you are, I've been there. It all DOES add up...
But here's the thing, it's a phase. It'll be over as soon as it started. I don't know why, when I'm in your shoes (at the moment we're 'cool') I'm at a loss. It seems so out there the stunts they pull and the attitude the have...It's a hurtful process. However, shave his head and enjoy him. It won't be like this forever. Take this as a sign to slow life down in your house. (if it's possible) Read some stories, bake together, spend some good quality time. I have noticed our ds gets out of sorts some times and if we just spend a good night with him, he'll get on track quicker. I hope it helps.
Going to your drs will help as well. It's always nice to have a good doctor inform you...It eliminates a lot. I hope you Christmas goes well, remember he's just a boy. He'll get it right.
Thank you so much. You made me cry!
I can't decide if I'd rather just not look at the top of his head or get it buzzed. I'm just not a fan of the buzz do, and my boys have their father's ears.
He does have an appt Friday evening. I guess I'll just see what she thinks. We'll at least get a good trim. I just hate that Christmas break starts Friday and I have to look at that pitiful head for 2 whole weeks!
try asking your son what's going on at school. whenever my son (who is 9) begins to act out.....i always find out it's because something happened at school with another child. also, wanted to make you feel better...my daugher who is 11 and not ADHD also butchered the front of her beautiful long hair....she's still trying to grow it in. maybe there's a new kid in school your son wants to impress...just a hunch.
have a great holiday....
oops...sorry didn't see that you wanted to move to another topic...same advice, try asking what's going on at school...My problem is, he is a good liar. And I never know if he's telling the truth or not anymore.
I am finally moving on about the hair. It took several days but I'm ok now and can look at him again without getting sick. I spent the day at his school and bless his heart.. He left his raincoat on all day long with the hood on to hide it. I hope and pray that he has learned a lesson.
I will say this much. Everything was fine up until about a week ago. Two weeks ago, I took him to the dr with a tummyache and found out that his bp was super high. We started bp meds (while we wait for our cardiologist vist) and the bp is controlled. His behavior went from good to horrible in a matter of 7-10 days, in my opinion, just enough time to get the bp in his system. I asked the dr this week if the bp meds could be interfering with his Focalin, and he said there have not been any studies that proved any of this and that he didn't think so. But really, is it not one heck of a coincidence? I'm going to try to take him off the Focalin during Christmas break, but over the summer, I couldn't last more than 4-5 days. I just can't help but think that there's something going on with this bp med.
We're facing that challenge, too. All children lie. Period. And let's face it, adults lie, too! So I don't think there is an answer...you basically just need to check out his stories and call him on it. Wash his mouth out with soap when he lies. We've done that when his liing became habitual. 
It's YUCKY! You need to let him know, too, that telling the truth gets you in LESS trouble than being busted by telling a lie! we told our son that, and he got to the point when he was asked "what happened" (for whatever stunt he had pulled ) and he would say "Less trouble for the truth, right?" And we would agree. There is still trouble, but it is less and we've assured him that trust in our relationship is very, very important. Communicate with your child. Don't just lecture and fingerpoint, he'll lose interest real quick in that. That's the only advice I have, considering we face this challenge as well.
We're facing that challenge, too. All children lie. Period. And let's face it, adults lie, too! So I don't think there is an answer...you basically just need to check out his stories and call him on it. Wash his mouth out with soap when he lies. We've done that when his liing became habitual. It's YUCKY!
Oh, no, PLEASE don't wash your kid's mouth out with soap! I didn't know anyone did that anymore. No offense, but that is not teaching the right lesson. My mom used to do it for saying the "wrong" thing, too, and it just made me hate HER. Force will never teach the lesson you are trying to get across -- it will just set you up for future power struggles because it will be you vs. your kid.
Ignore the lying. For a lot of kids it's just a phase. Make a joke out of it by making it into a huge, silly story (even if it is a serious lie) or pretend you believe it completely and are going to follow up on it (depends on the story being told, of course.) My son was a big liar for about a year and then it just disappeared. Now when he tells a "fib" and I act like I am following up on it (i.e. fact checking), he giggles and says, "I'm just making it up, mom." It doesn't happen very often, though.
Well, I'll say this, we have made it a last resort. But we have opted to go that route. I realized when writing it that someone would have a strong opinion against it, but I'm honest. We do it to teach him that lying puts a bad taste in your mouth and leaves a very bad aftertaste for everyone in the situation. I don't, however, use it for curse words because I can reason with him on that one. I understand your point, though.
my daughter went through a constant lying phase too, it passed. She still lies sometimes, like whether not she walked the dog , but for the most part it stopped. Plus i tell her, ok if the dog pees on the floor, you have to clean it............
Joy's right, if you can follow up on it follow up they cant get out of it. I did the making it into something silly too. She used to blame her messy bedroom on her sister (who was 3 at the time), I'd say "oh so she came in and took all your dirty clothes out of the hamper and threw them under your bed?", she'd look right at me and say "yeah" . I used to say if you're gonna lie at least lie good!
Ok, let's move on to another topic..
LYING!
I beyond hate being lied to but Will has lied at least 5 times this week to either me or DH. How do I stop it? I try to not even set up a lie, but somehow he just seems to do it anyway...
Well, that's a thought..
I wonder if he could handle that. Then I could make his little brother wear one too..
Yep, you're just going to have to get creative with it!
And let's face it, it's always easier when we're the only ones dealing with their 'issues', but when it is so very obvious while just strolling down the aisles at wal mart, it's kind of difficult! I know.
True!
I'm just dreading the reaction we will get from church Sunday. We have a lot of older people that sit around us, and it will be so crowded this Sunday. I know they are going to have a cow!
Maybe I should buy a toupee.
How cute that he made you a card and wrote just what he needed to know!! You're doing something right, Mom. Chalk it up to a lesson learned! Thank you!
I'm trying to let it go but I'm reminded of it everytime I look at that poor head.
I kind of wish he would have done something different so I could just fix it and forget it.
Oh well! He's going for a hair cut Friday. Wish me luck!
You know, our ds is a huge fan of Trick My Truck ... it's a show. Anyway, he loves his hair in a mohawk. No kidding. He's an adorable kid, I know I'm biased but he just is. Blondest hair and bluest eyes and some natural dark complection, white teeth...Okay, sorry!
(ha ha) Anyway, Saturday night was my sister's b-day party at the bowling lanes, and Tristen wanted his hair in a mowhawk. You know, I did it! I fixed his hair in the style of his preference and it was FUN! Everyone was talking about him, he was just IT, or so he felt like! It ended up being a really cute memory. What I'm getting at is that your boy may have to get a little creative the next few weeks while his hair grows back but it's alright. It's boy fun and before you know it, you'll be talking about it like it was the funniest thing you ever saw! Time heals everything, especially a bad hair cut!
Good Luck~
Maybe I can get some mousse and spike it up. Perhaps that'll cover some of the baldness.
I know I sound silly and everything else he's done (and there's always SOMEthing) I've been able to shake off, but man. This constant reminder is killing me..