Undiagnosed Toddler - possible ADD/ADHD | ADHD Information

I'm one of those pushers of one on one playdates . I thiink having children over that you can sort of hang out with them both and guide the playdate is HUGE. Keys, SHORT playdates (at this age, an hour maybe one and a half hours). STRUCTURED playdates. Make things with PlayDoh. Have activities set up, to avoid the," I WANT to play with that stuffed fox" (like my 5 year old still does)....etc., etc. Taking them some place is even better! Indoor play areas. Out for pizza, etc. this has helped both my girls dramatically. Just keep inviting kids. They'll come. Especially if you're going to do something fun .

Kinda a newbie....and hoping for some advice and/or direction.

I was recently diagnosed with ADHD and what prompted me to get tested was my daughters (she is 3.5 years old) behavior.  I haven't had her tested because I understand she is still young but I know her and I watch her and have a very strong feeling that she too will be diagnosed.  A lot of people tell me it is way too early to tell and she is just 'being a typical toddler', 'let her grow up'.  I am fine with this and certainly don't want to force her into a diagnosis.  But, as her Mother it hurts to watch her get rejected in social situations and to feel left out. 

She came home from preschool yesterday and told me and my husband that no one wants to be her friend.  She mentioned it a few times that night which told me it has been troubling her.  Today at preschool I played with her and then watched her from a distance.  In both instances she was dominant, agressive and at one point yelled at a couple of girls for taking her tea set away.  I watch the other little girls her age play together, share, and interact but she seems to be missing out on the social ques that they obviously are picking up on.    I have been getting a sense of this for about a year now and watching how she 'handles' social situations that others her age seem to have no trouble with.  At 3, girls make friends quite easily, but not my daughter.  I kept thinking or trying to convince myself (well actually others tried to convince me) that she is just acting out normal toddler behavior.  Based on what I have seen and heard this week I feel quite strongly that she may be ADHD.  Maybe she can't be diagnosed now but in the least I want to be as proactive as possible in helping build the social skills she needs to build her social self confidence.  I have read a lot about 'play dates' and will persue that. 

This has suddenly hit me very hard this week.  I am incredibly depressed and just don't know what to do or where to start.  I just don't want her to hurt.  I know I need to get a handle on this and have given myself the rest of the day to cry and get it out of my system.  Any input or advice about the following would be appreciated. 

Are there social skills classes for kids this age?

How do you set up a playdate with girls that already have her labeled as 'mean.'

My husband and I are going to start doing some role playing with her to give her a foundation of some basic social skills.  Any resources for this would be appreciated.  

Thanks for any input.

 

well I do think 3 is too young for a diagnosis but I also noticed things about my son at that age. He was very aggressive with other kids, especially younger ones and would go up to them and push them down for no reason. He often played alone, not with groups. He also was very active and stopped taking naps around age 1.5 or so. He was very impulsive(which is normal at 3). When we put him in pre school at age 3.5 , they had to shadow him as he couldnt be trusted around the other kids. He wasnt even there 2 weeks and when i Went to pick him up one day, this little girl ran up to me and said* Ryan is BAD..he hits*..My heart was breaking. He would not listen to the teachers, take turns, eat at the table or take a nap or rest. They had to put a baby lock on the room door as he would leave when he felt like it. After 4 weeks, they asked me to remove him. Said it wasnt fair to the other children and suggested I ever get a nanny(what a joke, i was a single , newly seperated MOM!!) till he matured some and his teacher suggested i take him for an evaluation. Well the ped suggest a child phychiatrist. His physchiatrist said he seemed to have all the ear marks of ADHD and recommended play therapy .We also had him tested at our  Kindergarten program and he was then diagnosed as *other health impaired* at 4, and was able to attend our early intervention program.Between this and the play therapy , things got a little better but we didnt see any real true improvement until we started meds at age 5.

I think role playing is a great idea and something we often did with Ryan! Also maybe talk to you ped and look into behavioural modification or play therapy till your daughter is older..I think we all *know* our kids and while no one wants to pin the label of ADHD on their child..a mother just knows when things are not right.

 

Good luck!