please help me help my son | ADHD Information

I have a 13 year old son that is not dig with anything.  I was just dig with adhd and some other things but about the son,  He does everthing I do and have done.  He is so smart and until 5th grade straight a student now only good grade he has is in scince which is his fav.  He is withdrawn alot.  He has played baseball all his life and he has alot of vip for thrid bass but now he will not even go and sign up.  He tryed out for the middle school team last year and did not make the cut and he said he could not focus enough to catch or hit.  He is silly and cuts up and goes on every now and then he is the class clown all the time.  He has very few friends now he stoped hanging with all his baseball budies and they dont know why.  He takes jitju and is really good but he does not want to go now board.  He picks fights with his little 5 year old brother and then him and his 20 year old step brother who has lived with us since he was 9 (the step brother)  fight over him being mean to the 5 year old.  JW is a child from my frist marrage and his father will not hear of taking him to the dr he says w is just lazy I dont think so.  My husband now agrees with me but w has no insurance and I need his fathers help to pay the med bills for w and he refuses to admitt there is anything wrong with his son.  I dont want to see my son go through his life like i have I want to help him is there anything I can do short of putting him on meds.  Oh the papers everywhere lord you should see his room and his folders for school i dont know how he findes himself much less what he needs.  please help me help my son.hi and welcome. Without taking him to a doctor for an evaluation it's kind of hard to help him. You dont really know what you're working with. 13 is a difficult age. Puberty is fullswing. Things start to change for them. Do you not have any insurance either?  What does school think? Have oyu met with his teachers and guidance cousleors to get a feel from them on how is doing in school? Has he been able to focus and be attentive until this year? nope it all started at age 9 and it is gettin worse he was in the  5 th grade summer of 4 th grade and his teachers told me in the 5th grade he has a brain that they wish they had but he just would not apply.  and now he is just not doing.  He has alg this year and that teacher just so happens to be his k teacher she called me and told me w was just a diff boy he could do it if he just would.  he just does nto seem to be able to stay with her and will not ask for extra help and when she goes to him about it he gets angry with her but not mean just like leave me alone i dont want your help.  I know he is embarressed by his grads and belive me his dad does not make that better.  I am really worried and no I dont have insurance either.  We lost our insurance due to job change and right now we wait until jun for my son cause my husband left the so and went to the city police dept.  I will have it in jan but his is better insurance and the kids need more insuance than i do so we opted to wait for his.  Now not sounding like the smartest move.  I dont know I love my son so much and I just want to help him and dont know how. 

I would request an evaluation from the school.

I agree I would request an evaluation from the school ASAP!Yes, ask from the school, they have to do it and it doesnt cost you a cent!!Jen,

I'm 35 and have ADHDI and thought I might be able to help to see it from
my perspective and my past experiences and thoughts. I stopped playing
baseball when I was in 5th grade as well. I stopped because the kids were
picking on me and I couldnt take it anymore. I was very with-drawn from
4th-12th grade. I realized that the more friends I had the more problems
came with it. I bet he is very sensative, as am I and his feelings get hurt
easy so he would rather just stay away. I only kept maybe 2 friends
around me and they were really close. Your son is smart and he will do
things nobody will understand but i'm sure he has a reason. The trick is
to not make him feel weird or different and act like things are normal.
When my parents would push me to do something like sports, I didn't
want to do it. I started getting into music after that and had allot of fun
signing in choirs and learning to play the trombone. I was first chair and
really enjoyed band and choir friends. That is smart not to put him on
meds, he really doesnt need it until he get's in high school or college
were his attention may be needed more. My grades were very poor as
well. I still can not remember half of the things people say and no drug
helps with that, so I have a digital recorder with me all the time, and save
those digital files on my computer so I can recall what was said anytime.
He needs to record the teacher instead of writing notes. If he trys to take
notes during class it's probably hard for him to keep track of what is said
because he hears every pen click, or noise in class. He should listen to his
teacher after class on the recorder or at night in a quiet place where he
has no noise. He should write notes on flash cards and not a piece of
paper, that way he can concentrate on that one thing and not be
distracted by other words. Try this, if you he needs to learn a new word or
subject write the word on one side of the flash card and the definition on
the other side. Hold that card up and look at that word and have him try
to recall the definition. If he can't recall it, flip the card over read the the
definition, and go to the next card. What you will find out is your son has
an amazing ability to remember and recall if he studies in this manner.
Now his disability can become a benefit later in life, he just has to find
that one talent. Mine is creative design and web programming, I
graduated with my bachlors degree in 2000 and it took me 7 years, lol.
I'm successful now but still space out all the time. His brain thinks in
several demensions unlike anyone else, I bet he is very intellegent. He will
be ok, the trick is to not let him get depressed or upset and be supportive
in everyway. This is funny, I can not do algebra if it would save my life,
and there isnt anyway I will ever be able too. I got a D in college and had
to take it twice. I did get and A in physics, and am pretty good with
programming languages like javascript and am faster than anyone I know
on the computer as a graphic designer. Now, i'm benefiting from my
disability.It sounds like some of it is puberty.  I have a 13 year old son who is smart enough to get A's but barely passes.  I had the school do an IQ test when I was having him evaluated for an iep.  He has college level comprehension in understanding everything he reads.  So he is taking it in and not letting it out.  He is probably trying to figure himself out on who he is so that may explain some of the changes.  You should go ahead and send a letter into school requesting an evaluation.  It takes awhile, and if he qualifies then he will benefit from it.  If you are getting insurance in January, that is not far off and something is better than nothing.  Does your divorce from your ex specify that he help pay medical costs? If it does then he should have to pay anyway even if he doesn't want to.  I would not let that stop you from getting help for your son.  The school's evaluation can help with him getting diagnosed with the doctor also.