New here, new to ADHD | ADHD Information
Hello,
I just wanted to introduce myself as I can already tell I'm going to be spending a lot of time here! I'm Janis and my son, who will be 7 on the 30th, has just been diagnosed with ADHD combination type. I'm married and we've been together for about 11 years, though only married for 1.5 years (nice back yard luau wedding!). We live south of Boston Massachusetts. Both DH and I work full time out of the home. DS is in before school care for about 20 minutes a full day of 1st grade, and then afterschool care for about an hour.
I've been watching DS's behaivor, attention and hyperactivity since before Kindergarten but more so since he started Kindergarten as he had a real hard time. His teacher was great though and was able to spend a lot of time with him and found ways to make him successfull, like having him sit right next to the teacher or the parent helper. 1st grade has been a total different story.
On Monday, I finally had a consultation and the dr said my son is a "textbook case" and fits the diagnosis of ADHD combination type without a question. Humm.. I take this as good news because now I can get him the help he needs.
First grade has been really tough. I keep getting calls from the teacher that he is out of control ... that he not only disrupts the other students in the classroom but even people walking in the hallway outside the classroom! And, that it's seriously affecting his learning and the learning of his classmates. He's getting bad grades, sometimes on subjects that he knows because he just doesnt finish his papers. Other times he's just not learning because he cant concentrate and focus. Anyway, I know you all know all about these types things!!
So, today is his third day on Medatate CD. 10 mg. But, I already pretty sure that it needs to be increased. But, I want to see how he is on the weekend with me watching him the entire day. Since I started him during the school week, he's been at school all day and I at work so I'm not that sure how its' affecting him other than there is no rebound, only a very small loss of appitite. No other side effects. I asked him and he said the medicine isnt helping very much at school - but then again the class is having "holiday week" with all kinds of concerts, parties, and fun activities. They are not following thier normal schedules.
I'm having some trouble with the teacher. She doesnt seem to want to give him any extra help, which is a complete difference from his kindergarten teacher. She is quick to point out that he's "out of control" and ruining everyone else's learning, but says students are held to high standards and she cant give DS the coddeling that she thinks he wants. Even today, she said she would not comment if his behaivor is better or worse because all the children did well during this long time period that they were to be sitting still and all of them have been extra excited and high energy at other times. But, I'm not asking about ALL the children, I'm asking about MY child!!! And, that frustrates me that she wont tell me if he has had ANY changes in the past three days! So, I'm feeling kinda in the dark on how his day is going. I'm kicking myself for not waiting until the weekend to start the meds so I can see first hand myself...
I'm also having trouble because I'm 150% sure my husband has ADHD too.. but he doesnt want to hear about it. And he's sick of hearing about the teachers in school saying our son is bad.. and he's pretty much leaving it all up to me to take care of! He wants to hear when things are good, but not when they are bad.
DH's sister's son (being raised by DH's parents as his sis passed away) also has ADHD, but his mom refused to put him on meds, and is in denial about it. So, it's definitly in the family! But, no one will talk about it. My side of the family supports me, yet has no experience or knowlege of ADHD .. so I kinda feel all alone in this new world.
My son was diagnosed by his pediatrician, but I see LOTS of posts about going to psychatrists and pshycologists. Should I have him start seeing the guidance counselor at school? Should I start sending him to a therapist? The ped. didnt mention anything about that. Until I started visiting these boards, I didtn even know that really was something that people with ADHD did.. seeing a therapist, unless there were other issues as well.
Emotionally, DS doesnt really know that he has a condition. He just gets upset sometimes becasue the teacher says he's bad and he thinks he's doing his best. And, he gets upset because I get frustrated and start yelling after I have to tell him to get dressed 50 times! Which I'm working very hard on not yellling and I'm doing better at it. And, he gets upset because he thinks the teacher doesnt give him enough time to finish his work and why doesnt he get more time when all the other kids have time to finish. .. But all in all, he's a very happy child. Doesnt have any close friends, but I think he's still kinda young yet and that isnt an issue right now.
Sorry to go on and on ..... I just have a couple more questions:
Is there anything I should know, starting out as a parent just reciving this news? Anything I should watch out for, anything I should make sure I do? How do I know if a medication should be adjusted, like increased? I know if there are too many negative side effects then it should be decreased or changed. What can I expect as I go along on this journey with medications and doctor visits and school /teachers, etc...?
Thank you again for reading this, and providing any advice/tips/information/support!
~janis
Hi Janis, welcome!
A few things. Yes I would see a psychiatrist to manage his meds. They are just more experienced. As far as counseling, that is more a personal choice and depends on what you need. Meds are not the only solution. You may want a therapist to help with behavior modifications, like helping him learn how to calm himself down. Rarely are meds givien and the first med at the first dose is a perfect fit. So take your time and watch him. I would suggest keeping a journal. Just document behaviors, time of day there are issues, or no issues, how he is eating, sleeping...etc., etc...it helps see patterns. Keep reading and keep posting there are great families here and you will find a LOT of support!
BTW, I am also from outside Boston......we are north though.
Hi there. this a one of many great sites to share exsperiences and concerns. we have found it necissary to call, write to or go to the school and read them the riot act from time to time regarding our 9 yr. old daughter w/ ad/hd/I. we let i slide a little and they loose interest in helping our kid. Read as much as you can about ad/hd and other disorders as often as you can. our DD has been on an IEP at school for three years now even though she was just officially diagnosed this past summer (we new something wasn,t right!) We had a tough time sorting thru the meds issues. she's on metadate schools day only. it's worked well for a couple monthes till she told, us she wasn't going to take them any more. she claimes she doen't feel any different. her pediatriacian says that's a good thing meaning it's not too high a dose. we certainly notice a difference on school days only when she's on her meds. the difference is subtle though, she is more relaxed and ablbe to focus and in a much better mood till the meds weare off in afternoon. the time period from end of october till after first of year has been difficult for us fo ever, even when she was younger. i've mentioned this to several peaple including pediatriacian, phycologist, psyciatrist, councelors etc. with little or no response. hang in there and happy holidays. fyi also outside beantown just north of the border.Hello and Welcome!
I don't know what I would do without these boards! I check them daily. I have never seen such a positive board.
I have a 5 year old little guy, he was diagnosed ADHD combined type in September. We live in the Midwest. Nice to meet ya
Ditto what Diane V. said, she is the greatest by the way
Thank you so much, everyone! I will definatly ask the school about getting an evaluation and an IEP plan. There have been a few wierd things, for instance, he has bad handwriting and his teacher had the handwriting specialist evaluate him. She said he's borderline for needed extra help forming his letters.. and opted to wait a while longer to see if it improved, instead of just getting him in for extra help. I want him to have the extra help now!!! He is slowly improving, but I think could still use some extra help learning how to correctly form the letters. It's like no one showed him the right way and he picks up his pencil too much, or writes from the bottom to the top instead of the top to the bottom. I show him and his a's are much better, but its' a slow process at home that I think would move a bit quicker if they were helping him at school too! His lower case a's used to look like a capital Q!
I will also start out by requesting he meet with the guidance counselor at school. Because he doesnt have any other comorbid issues, I dont feel that therapy is needed at this point, but I'm keeping it my mind as we go.
Yes, same with my DH. He thinks if the teachers were more firm with the students, that they'd behave better. Like, sternly tell DS to stop talking, and he would stop talking. But instead, he thinks the teachers are saying things such as "oh, now Tyler, you know you are not suppsed to talk, are you?" in a sweet little voice! And, he said he's sick of hearing about school and he doesnt want to hear about it anymore. I think he just cant cope with it all. And, I have to say in a way I dont mind, because then it's like I get to do what I want with DS's treatments, etc.... .. I dont have to worry about compromising if his dad wants to do something different!!
Yes, the 1st grade teacher knows he's on medication now, and I had to give them the name so they could have it on file in the nurse's office. I'm already hoping next year he ends up with a better teacher!
Ohhh I think I'll get some omega-3 and magnesium to give to my DH!!! I should take some omega-3 myself because I dont eat fish. 
Our 5 yr old son is also a recently dx ADHD by a ped, which we are unhappy with and currently waiting for an appt with a psychologist/psychiatrist combo, which I learned from this board would probably be a better help for us. I've learned more from the people on this board than from our ped doc! I read everyday and come here when I need to vent or need advice and always feel better & more informed when I leave! Welcome and good luck in your journey. This teacher will only be around for another six months, so i wouldn't spend too much time fretting about her. Does she know that you are starting medication? It's pretty common for first grade to be a completely different story. This is often when they start pressuring the parents to medicate. You have the right to classroom observations. If you work close to the school, maybe you can take an early or late lunch and observe for 45 minutes for a couple of days. Also, if the meds work you should get less phone calls and see better grades.
My husband is also unmedicated ADHD, and I take complete responsibility interacting with the school and dealing with all issues regarding my son. This is simply not within his abilities. He thinks all of this nonsense should stop and I should just go down there and tell them how it is . I no longer discuss it with him, even the most extreme things. For example, I doubt that I would tell him about an upcoming IEP meeting. This is because he has nothing productive to contribute and minimal understanding of the issues at hand, nor does he have any desire to understand. I do have him on a regime of omega-3 and magnesium which has helped quite a bit with his own stress management. Now I see that many of his family members have it, and yes they are all in denial. My father in law, sister in law and nephew all have it. It's clear as day. They are all symptomatic in very different ways, which is quite interesting.
At this age, I would think that therapy would only help if he has a comorbid like anxiety, depression, etc. This is a neurological condition. You cannot talk your way out of being impulsive or hyperactive. When he's older he might be able to use cognitive behavior therapy to learn how to manage himself. I tried a play therapist with my 7 year old son for 8 months or so, based on the recommendations of others, and well, it was a complete waste of time. It changed nothing.
There are parenting classes for parents of ADHD kids that provide lots of useful info/tips on how to handle these children.
I would also listen to what Diane says she always has great advice!I so feel your pain! I don't know if I'd wait for him to get a new teacher, though. Before my son was diagnosed I raised holy heck at the school because his teacher made so many mistakes with him (I posted about it in the Schools section under Wiggle Chair).
Now my son goes from class to class. He goes to his homeroom, with the teacher who was just not doing her job, to put it plainly, then he goes to another teacher for literacy (reading) because he was supposedly doing so poorly even though on his most recent progress report he had exceeds expectations (funny how a good teacher can make such a difference), he goes to a third teacher for enrichment math because he's already met all the guidelines for 1st grade, and then a 4th teacher in the afternoon kind of for a wind down. He's up and going to another class about every hour - it's a great way for him to burn off energy.
Before he started going to better teachers he was so frustrated he was (for lack of better word) beating kids up. He lashed out so often I thought he was going to be expelled. But he got a teacher who actually taught him - now there's a thought - and all that stopped overnight. He wasn't frustrated, so he stopped reacting violently. And he's still not on meds.
So again - I'd call the principal today to talk about his teacher. Perhaps now that you've got the diagnosis they can get an Ed Tech in the classroom who can attend to your son. He might be "difficult" but he still deserves to get a decent education without having his self worth destroyed in the process.
Thank you again for all your responses.. I'm just soo happy right now to know you are all out there! . I'm going to think about what each of you has said and let it digest a bit. I'm also going to do some research on my lunch break to find out exactly what ADHD is ... what makes an ADHD brain different from other brains... I want to get down to the nitty gritty facts of ADHD. The more I can understand, the more I can help my son!
I also think I'm going to set up a blog to start keeping track of our journey, behaivors, etc. This way, if it's online I can access it at any time, instead of carrying around a book! (as you can tell, I like to write, and I'd rather type, than handwrite!)