Immaturity | ADHD Information

[QUOTE=steppingstone]A boy who she has been friends with since preschool asked her out recently. She said, "No, I'm too young. Besides, how are you going to take me out on a date? On your bicycle? You're not even old enough to drive!" .[/QUOTE]
I love that! Sounds quite mature to me.

If anyone is interested, I received an email from ADDitude magazine yesterday listing the top 10 articles of 2007. One of them was called "Be Your Child's Friendship Coach." I also noticed, when I went to the site, that there were a number of articles about friendships and maturity linked to the first article.

My daughter too is very immature for her age, she's almost 7. She likes to watch babyish shows with her 3 year old sister. I actually like that she still acts like a little girl. The part that gets tricky is that the other girls her age are not just more mature, but more socially saavy. My daughter doesn't know enough to keep things to herself (she'll proudly tell everyone that she loves Sesame Street). She doesn't get sarcasm or when other kids are poking fun at her (maybe that's a good thing??!!).

I was kind of like this as a kid; I didn't have ADH (that I know of). The good thing is, if it doesn't bother your dd, it is probably better in the long run that she is more innocent, because maybe the chances are lesser of her doing things you wouldn't want her to do as a teen (drugs, s*x, etc.). I have to remind myself htis when I think of my own immature 14yods--no girlfriend, seems younger....but, at the same time, it turns my stomach when I hear of the "popular" kids and what they are doing. And those are the ones the teachers and parents think are so mature........

hi, monkeybutt

my 9 year old daughter has adhd and my 12 year old daughter has add, I do see what you are saying, my 12 year old took baby dinosaurs to secondary school, so she could show them, and still wants to play with baby dolls and barbie's and not into boy's or make-up. she often palys with kid years below herslf as she feels in control, one of her friends is 5 years old, My 9 year old tells me very often she is talking to her inner self., I will say my 12 year old makes a good babysitter as she gets on well with younger kids , anybody her age freak's her out she cannot commucate with.. Just keep cool

all the best margaret

I think being 10 and playing with Barbie's still is okay and I hear what you are saying my girl is very immature and is regressing to the point we are very concerned.

Well....I'm 31 and I still play with doll sand Barbies. I actually collect dolls. Silkstone Barbies, Himstedt, Asian Ball Jointed dolls, vintage dolls...Dolls of all kinds actually! So don't be too hard on her. But, I do understand what you are saying. My 7 year old cousin said she doesn't play with dolls anymore...My mouth was agape, "What? But, you are 7, what do you mean you don't play with dolls?" It is crazy how they grow up so fast.

My boyfriend's son is 11. He is still very very immature for his age. He does not have ADHD, but he is extremely gifted and has problems socially because of it. His father worries about him a lot too, but you know what, that kid really knows what he likes, where he stands, he may not be popular, and I do know he gets picked on sometimes for being so smart, but he is an amazing child that has found a group of friends that are very similar to himself. He loves music and is in a band, loves video games, just loves learning new things. He is not into girls whatsoever and he will be 12 in March.

Just don't worry too much. She'll make her own way.

But, I do have to say, even my friends and I were playing dolls at 12. But, maybe I was behind. I have ADHD. I turned out okay.

[QUOTE=MonkeyButt]

My 10 year old, 4th grade ADD daughter is extremely immature for her age. Not that I mind her being young minded, kids grow up too fast these days. But she just doesn't quite fit in if you know what I mean. She still plays imaginary games. Talks to herself. Loves fairies and barbies and playing with dolls. The other girls her age are all so much less, well innocent. They are into hair and makeup, sports and boys and celebrity gossip. Some even have cell phones, hold regular parties etc. I dont' want to push my daughter, I enjoy her cuddles and sweetness, but I also don't want to see her become an outcast or labeled as a baby.

Anyone else have to deal with this sort of thing? What have you done?

[/QUOTE] My 10 year old daughter is rather immature in many ways, but is mature in others. She is not into dolls, but likes the Littelest Pet Shop toys. She has one friend at school who is autistic. Other than this girl, she mainly plays with younger children. As many of the rest of you have touched upon, I am rather glad that she is not in any hurry to grow up. Most of her peers are in to boys. A boy who she has been friends with since preschool asked her out recently. She said, "No, I'm too young. Besides, how are you going to take me out on a date? On your bicycle? You're not even old enough to drive!"

Needless to say, that ended it. When I see the appearance of many of the girls in her class, I cringe. They try to look much older, and several would pass for being in high school. I'm so glad that she is not that way. I worry about these girls getting into situations that they are not emotionally mature enough to handle. My daughter has even expressed this herself. Although I wish that she had more friends, she seems happy with her life the way it is. I encourage her to nurture the friendships that she has, and to take part in the activities that she enjoys. I feel that everything will fall into place when it is time.Like others have said, it's normal for kids with ADHD to be less mature than others. At the same time, it really doesn't sound immature to me for a fourth-grade girl to be playing imaginary games and with dolls. Sounds normal to me! I also think it's normal for "tweens" to bounce back and forth. They can be interested in boys one minute, and think they're gross the next minute.
Mine likes hair, makeup and clothes, but then will go around with food on her face.
I recently chaperoned at her first dance (for 6th, 7th, and 8th graders) and they pretty much all acted like a bunch of goofy kids!
I think it's too bad that in our society, and the way schools are organized, kids are segmented so rigidly by age. I think it's natural for kids to play with younger and older kids, not just those who are exactly their age, and that way there's more room for differences in maturity.
I don't really have any advice, except maybe just to try to arrange play dates with kids that she likes. Maybe in a one on one situation you'll find that other girls still like to play and just be kids too.

Anyone else have to deal with this sort of thing? What have you done?

ADHD kids are about 30% behind the other kids in maturity. That is just a fact. My 4th grader plays with 2nd and 3rd graders sometimes because the pressure is less. It is completely normal and they have social skills classes to address this sort of thing at some therapists offices.yup, I did (still do). $th grade was when it became more evident. Same things, the girls start moving on and mine didnt. She's now in 7th grade and just getting into make up and things like High School Musical and the boys in it and the disney channel shows with the teen boys

, but her friends were doing that three years ago(while she was still watching cartoons), they're dancing with boys at school dances and starting the this one likes that one and etc. now, she is just NOT there.............fine with me, but you're right she doesnt fit in either. I've just kept doing the individual "play date" thing and done things all kids like, going some place, doing a craft...etc., etc. We've done more sleepovers than I care to remember, get a bunch of girls together and they'll giggle and eat junk food and watch movies. She's now halfway through middle school and holding her own. She wanted a cell phone in 4th grade too, but we held out. I did get her one this year for birthday (13th) as she now is doing things without me, going to dances (she can now call to leave whenever she wants me to get her - she always leaves early), drop her off at movies with a friend and pick them up after. Dont rush her, it puts them in situatiosn they're not ready for..............btw, I played with Barbies into 6th grade, and I'm fine, was then too, had lots of friends and matured like everyone else...............she'll be ok, but I DO know how you feel.........................just keep her happy, not pressured.