Im new and i need some advice | ADHD Information

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Hello everyone.  I need some advice on how to cope.  I have 2 boys 6 and 2.  My step-son is 6 and has been diagnosed with adhd.  He is on a meds which we give him when its time to go to school.  I would like for him to have a normal life cause we all know how kids are when you are different.  He really has me crazy with some of the things does and says.  He cant sit or stand still, he cant sit and watch a movie or tv, he has to be playing with something and moving around.  He has to touch things and he wont walk to do anything.  IE:

New pack of t shirts i told him to put in his drawer.  Comes back and i ask him if he did it.  Yes.  I go check and its on his dresser.  Why didnt you put the t shirts up?  The room was dark and i couldnt see so i put it on the dresser.  I forgot to turn on the light.

Evey morning i give them a vitamin.  This morning i gave him his and then another one for his brother.  He was going to eat the 2nd one.  He couldnt tell me why either. 

When he does something wrong and my wife and i ask him why he always says cause i did or i dont know.  On top of that we we do try to talk to him he always seems to have a hard time talking and always fidgeting and looking away. 

Im really dumb founded on how to cope.  Its very frustrating.  I just dont know what to do.  I do know that i will have to change to be able to manage.  Ecery parent wants their kids to do well and surpass them.  Sometimes i feel that he just wont be able to do that.

 

It may be the wrong meds, or maybe he needs behavior mods. Counseling and meds should go hand in hand. I would speak to his Psychiatrist about new meds or a new dose. And remember, he is 6, 6year olds forget alot of things....

You said you give him meds before school- do you give them to him on weekends too, or just for school?  How's it working? 

The other stuff is pretty typical for our kids- they really can't explain why they did things because there was no reason, just impulse. 

I try to give very explicit directions- "Go put these shirts in your drawer and push it closed."  Then after he comes back down I say "I'm going upstairs- if I look in your room will I see the shirts put away?  Why don't you go double check."   I don't usually even go check, but he almost always follows through if I send him a second time.

I agree that it's frustrating- and this time of year it's always worse.  My kid hasn't stopped moving in weeks and then this past week he quit eating, but the eating thing is anxiety related.

You should check out the marble thread that's at the top of this board.  A lot of people on here use it.  We've broken it down so he gets rewarded after 25 marble because 100 took too long.  Reward systems typically work well with our kids for a while and then the novelty wears off, so we change it up with something else every couple months. 

 

We just put Jacob in bed, so I have a little time to read your post before Santa makes his rounds. Your ds sounds like our Jacob, always moving around, etc. Jacob also does things because he's trying to be funny, or come up with ways to get attention.

I agree that you need to check into the meds and maybe behavior techniques such as the marble reward method. You wrote..."I do know that i will have to change to be able to manage." This is true to a certain point. But keep expecting medical treatment to make it easier.

In our son's case, his med helps him control himself during the daytime and he acts "normal". But at night (6-7pm) he starts to get "unusually" fidgety again until bedtime at 8pm. Jacob is much better than the time when he wasn't being treated 2 years ago. We've adjusted to his evening fidgety moments and are used to telling him to do thing 4-5 times before he gets it. To outsiders our son may look weird when he can't stop moving, but we think he's OK to be fidgety. Of course, if our son gets overly hyperactive and it becomes a safety issue, we'll discuss it with our ped-neurologist.

When it comes to kids, when their body and brain changes, we need to keep an eye on their progress and make changes in their treatment when drugs or therapies lose their effectiveness.

As far as your step-son goes, I'd discuss his hyperactivity/impulsiveness with his doctor and see if anything can be done to help him gain control. Also, try calling around to the child social service orgs in your area to see if you can enroll him into counseling sessions for ADHD kids. We did this with our son and it helps.